Nanny and playgroups

I was a nanny for a long time, including four years during which I stayed home for three years with a newborn and then when he was a toddler, with him and his newborn brother. The parents didn't want me to go out with them until they were 3 and nearly 2. Didn't bother me in the least. They're the ones paying me and I parented as they wished.

I'm a nanny who looks after similar aged children (5, 3 and 20 months). I do go to playgroups (amongst many other outings and activities) - nannying can be a pretty lonely job from a point of view of adult company and I think it's great for toddlers to learn about sharing toys and equipment. I certainly don't get to put my feet up, chasing after and supervising a toddler in a room full of toys and kids.

I keep things flexible though, if the weather is lovely we go to the park. Also, the three year old is getting a bit too old to go to playgroup, he doesn't really enjoy it so we do something else on the day he's not at nursery.

Although it's quite a tight schedule fitting in school runs and naps, I feel I do get to spend enough one to one time with the toddler - I have her in the pram facing me so we chat a lot whilst walking to and from school, play groups etc, I'll get her to 'help' in the kitchen whilst I'm making lunch, there's always time for books and music.
I think she would be bored if it was just me and her all the time and their mum actively encourages me to attend groups for the socialization aspect. She has said that she expects me to look after them the same way that she would if she was a sahm and she would go to playgroups etc.

I think the main issue here is that you see playgroups as a break for the nanny, you need to change your mindset.

I get where you are coming from OP. I also have a 5 year old (as well as a 3 year old and a baby). Between the school drop off, sorting lunch and then school pickup, it sometimes feels like all I do is ferry the two younger kids from A to B. If I squeeze in a playgroup or some other activity in the morning, I feel like I barely interact with them beyond the necessary communication.

Playgroups are great, but for a young child I feel that calm, unstructured time at home is also important. As is one to one attention.

I your situation I would probably say one day at home, one day at a group.

I'm a nanny and I actually fully understand where you're coming from. Personally when the children were that age , we did do something everyday. Must days it was a group but a day or two would be the local farm or woods etc. Like you said, it's literally 2 days a week! One morning they could do arts and crafts, baking together and the other they could go and do some outdoors activities. Doesn't need to go a group.

are you at home with the toddler on the other 3 days taking him to groups?

I do sympathise, my childminder is wonderful and my 18mo loves going to toddler groups with her, but with naps and school run there isn't time left to do crafts or much in the way of reading etc.

I do wonder whether she'd learn more through play at nursery where it's more set up with learning objectives in mind.

if I had the luxury of a nanny I think I'd want more one on one attention like you.

I think if you find the right nanny you won't be worrying so much about the playgroup thing because you will trust that if they sometimes go to playgroup (bad weather / variety) you will know that they will be interacting with your child and helping them join in with whatever activities are on offer, not ignoring them and drinking coffee. You need to look at the big picture and get someone with good references.

Here the playgroups are basically church toddlers groups that follow school calendars so off at all the same times as school holidays. I'm a childminder & my 2-3year olds love going to the playgroups for a couple of hours. They'd much rather be around a big group of people to play with than 1 grown up. Nanny should be keeping a good eye on dc & quick to respond though

Honestly? Don't restrict your child's activities. They'll always be time for crafts/music/reading etc at home.

2 year olds usually love being out amd about, they learn so much and it doesn't mean your nanny will be doing nothing! She'll still be supervising and interacting with your child at playgroup.

I think you'll struggle to find a nanny who'll be willing to take the job and be restricted in the way you mention.

I think your child will benefit more from going out and about than indoors with a nanny. Can you compromise and say 1 day playgroup and one day something else (farm, park, library etc)

You go and do your job and let the Nanny get on with hers, is my advice.