Nanny and playgroups

I'm with the op here. I'm a nanny and although we do go to playgroups occasionally, it is usually only on days where I'm feeling a bit tired/ run down/ pouring down with rain and don't want to walk too far. But other than that, I much prefer taking the kids outdoors. They learn so much from being outdoors. There's playgroups I've been to where other nannies and a big group of childminders completely ignore and are (in my opinion) not very warm towards the children. It breaks my heart. I find it difficult to watch and so we try to avoid it. We usually go to farms, zoo, woods, parks, library, local shops to pick up bits for their house (milk bread etc...) and of course plenty of playing and reading at home. Nannies are a luxury, they aren't cheap. And I feel that parents often choose a nanny over nursery for the fact that they want their children getting out and about. I think everything in balance is how it should be.

It’s nice to get out in the morning. Then play at home after sleep

As always there are good Nannies. And mum. And bad :ignore their charges /children Nannies and mums

If you use a cm Harriet you can’t tell her where to do / what to do - she’s she and dictates - if you aren’t happy with her services then you need a nanny

Which going back to this thread - op - you can say to nanny no M&T but reassure her that you are happy with parks farms walks playdates etc

Thanks for the reassuring responses (and sorry to derail slightly). Yes, he’s not walking (though standing by himself and a speedy crawler so a total liability). She has an 18 month old in the afternoons so does play with them both then.

Harriet I really wouldn't worry.

You can't dump/ignore an 11 month old. They need constant interaction/playing with/reading too/cuddling with. Most aren't even walking at that age.

And as mentioned above, and I'll confirm this as a cm, it's the cm and nannies that interact the most at playgroups. This is our job after all, not our social time. Of course we talk to other cm's/mum's, but please be assured our focus is on your children.

Having said that, I only do groups x2 a week as like to take the children to the library/park/beach etc and do plenty at home too.

Harriet what time do you collect your dc? If they still have a good few hours post nap of 1-1 quieter time then I wouldn't overly mind a group every day. I think in the OPs case the problem is that the morning is the only time the child would get that.

Find this interesting as my 11 month old has just started with a childminder who takes him to a group every day. He’s her only charge at this point in the day so I guess I could ask her not to do it every day (4 days per week). He does also have time playing in the house in the afternoon. I had thought that the groups might be good for the socialisation aspect, but now worried she’s just dumping him there and having a chat 🙁

there

Im a nanny and yes i agree with the OP.
I care for a two year old as she has started day nursery on the days i dont care for her. I purposely stopped mum and toddler group and decided to do walks, farm, park , music group instead. I felt she was spending enough time indoors/group situations in the week.
We do however meet up.with other nannies and or village mums and toddlers. Either meeting for walks, park, or for coffee. For example last week a nanny friend and helped the toddlers to make mothers day cards.
I would also say that at our local groups its definately the nannies who keep a closer eye on their charges. We have had children fall off chairs, escape out of the building and all have been with their mums.
When i meet up with nannies their is very little personal chat. We usually prepare activities, read books, play games with the children. Dont forget we are nannies because we enjoy being with children.

For the sake of 2 days a week, I completely agree with you. I was a SAHM for 5 years. No way would I do a group every day. I did some groups, some 1-1.

Some playgroups are amazing. Some really aren't. Unless you're lucky I can't imagine you're surrounding by such wonderful playgroups that they simply must be visited to the exclusion of the park/mooching about the house/1-1 crafts etc.

Sits firmly on fence

Yes it’s good for children to get out and socialise - which you say you are happy for. As long as no playgroups

Children learn to share and play nicely at M&T. With diff toys and may have craft play

My own 2yr goes stir crazy if in house all day. We do a variety of M&T - care home - music - animals each week

In the end yes you are the boss and nanny does what you want BUT it’s also not good to micromanage nanny

Can you book in a class like music tumbletots etc

Or can she have a similar ages friend round for a play

As weather gets nicer it’s nice to go to park farm walks etc

For 2 days a week I'm with you on this. I attend a couple of playgroups which the same childminder turns up with 10+ kids (she has a helper) and then pretty much ignores them for an hour while she has a chat. There's been a few times children have been injured by fighting or climbing on things they shouldn't. I get the nanny might want to get out and its good for your ds to socialise with other children but he also needs that one to one time too.

Gottalovesummer - Of course you support them with activities if needed but you don't follow them like a shadow, ideally to support school transition you network with other minders and split the room so that they seek support from other familiar adults as per EYFS.
2 to 3 is young but with many now starting school nursery with a ratio of 13 to 1 at this age they do need to be able to start to sort out disputes like I had that toy, with an adult stepping in when it isn't resolved. Many of these children will be in school for 30 hours in September, not something I agree with but something many parents are taking up as its easier, as such early years providers are having to step up transition to school support which involves helping children resolve problems and deal with social issues. As a childminder they get plenty of 1 to 1 support with craft, fine motor skills, reading, puzzles for 9 hours a day so 2 hours at a group should have a main focus on separating from main carer similarly for Nannies.

Whilst i dont think you're completely unreasonable in what youre asking...

Your attitude and tone of posts suggest to me that you are very controlling and wont be easy or enjoyable to work for. As someone said above.. you do your job and let the nanny do theirs.

Hi Jannier actually I disagree. I certainly don't hover over my mindees at playgroup but I do actively engage with them, as this is what they want and need.

You're right that they need to start making decisions/problem solve but they're a bit young at 2/3 (in my opinion) to do this alone.

So I do the activities with them and they enjoy this and will have a little play alone/with friends but I am always close by for reassurance/to play with them if needed.

Children learn best through play, no setting should have structured learning activities but should set out opportunities to extend learning through play and interests.
A good Toddler group should have a varied selection of activities including messy play. mark making, puzzles and toys, bikes, slides, opportunities for singing, carpet time etc. The adults should be encouraged to support learning but not stand over hovering children need space to make decisions and solve arguments with each other they cant get with 1 to 1 adult attention or a hovering adult. For most children with a nanny or childminder they need a chance to be away from their carer and toddler groups are the only chance in a day to do this typically the rest of the time they are virtually 1 to 1 with the carer whilst for parents its the other way around with many doing chores at home and less messy play for them its the one chance to spend time with their child doing these activities

that they need some adult conversation.

I could understand if theu were full time but for 2 days per week this is a cheeky request. I'm assuming during nap time the nanny would get some down time - they can call a mate then.

OP I've never met the parents of this kid so doubt they know that's what the nanny does. He is 4 so I guess technically he could tell them. I suppose she could say they just walked home and a 4 year old has no concept of time.

The nannies at the playgroups I go to are usually the ones interacting the most with the children they have taken. I do agree that the nanny should do as you ask but most people do not go to playgroups for their own fun and enjoyment; they go there because small children enjoy them and it’s a good and safe way of getting out of the house and not being bored whilst stuck in.

I am sure there are nannies and cm who do this, but can assure you that plenty don't!

I'm a cm and go to a regular playgroup. I do crafts, puzzles, building blocks, reading, games and singing with mine. So do the other cm 's.

I think it's a case of finding the right person. Just seems a shame to limit their activities. I've been cm a long time and all of my little ones have loved the group's.

Yanbu. I made the same request of our nanny in similar circs and she was happy to go along with this. She even commented on how at play groups she went to on other days with her other nanny family the childminders at our local group spent the whole time chatting to each other and ignoring their charges.

YANBU, at the toddler groups I take my kids to you can spot the nannies as they clock off the second they walk into the place. I look at my phone top of course but I'm invested in my kid having fun and learning rather than just passing the morning. I think you're well within your rights to say it's only two mornings and you just want the nanny to play with your kid/playground etc. A nanny I know from the school gate walks her charge for miles and miles in the buggy because she's trying to lose weight. He's 4, must be bored stiff.