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Original poster

30 hours childcare

41 replies

myexisanasshole · 27/02/2019 19:41

So, my ex has got it in his head that we are now sharing the children 50/50 even though I have not agreed to any such arrangement or received any court summons/parenting order/solicitor letter. Safe to say this is not going to be happening and I am keeping the children until the issue is sorted. However I have found out today that he has applied for the free 30 hours of childcare with my childminder and wants my son to go even when he is supposed to be with me (for his proposed 50/50 split). What I can't find out is if this is allowed? I have read that the person applying has to have the children living with them the majority of the time but with 50/50 how do they decide that? Would he be eligible? Obviously I will be fighting his proposal as it's not sustainable for the children as he works full time, can't take our eldest to swimming/dance/choir, eldest is terrified of going to his plus a while host of other issues. So if anyone knows about the 30 hours rules please post below! 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
myexisanasshole · 03/03/2019 08:38

They are staying with me until we can reach an agreement as advised by my solicitor. He won't be happy and I'm dreading his response, I'm scared of going to court as he will drag up all my past mental health problems and I don't want to put my children through the stress of cafcass and seeing me upset. He even sent his mother round on Friday to check I was ok and messaged my childminder to check the children's welfare as I didn't reply to his text. He is a manipulative bully and I'm scared of him but if I don't stand up to him now he'll keep doing this 😢

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 02/03/2019 22:26

Lindy that’s if the parents are together. It’s different for single parent households.

Lindy2 · 02/03/2019 22:21

To claim 30 hours usually both parents need to be working at least 16 + hours per week. Are you both working and how old are your children?

Weenurse · 02/03/2019 22:14

Plus, you need legal advice

Weenurse · 02/03/2019 22:13

Sounds very strange. What are your current arrangements?

Original poster
myexisanasshole · 28/02/2019 11:04

I was up with her last night until 9pm because she is worried I'll send her back there 😢 I want her to have contact, just no 1 week at mine then one at his. He wants the children in 40hrs childcare a week even when they are in my care. He hasn't even spoken to me, nothing is legally binding, no court order and he has just done it anyway. Cross isn't the word!

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 28/02/2019 07:52

He shouts at her and locks her in her room? That's obviously why she's scared then, poor girl. She shouldn't be made to go there.

Weenurse · 28/02/2019 07:25

No advice, but hugs and 💐

Original poster
myexisanasshole · 28/02/2019 07:22

I am going to fight him all the way, it is not appropriate for them to be living out of a bag half the year. He hasn't bothered for the last 3 years, only having EOW now because he had them for 6 weeks while I was ill he thinks he's dad of the year! My solicitor has advised I keep hold of the children until it is sorted. I just can't believe he's applied for the hours without even talking to me. He sent an email saying that this is what he wanted but I haven't even responded yet! I'm sure by applying for the hours he's committing fraud? My childminder is also worried because she doesn't want to get into trouble.

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 27/02/2019 21:37

Well it doesn’t sound like 50/50 is appropriate. You do need to consult a solicitor for at least to know W here you stand.

Original poster
myexisanasshole · 27/02/2019 20:18

I'm not entirely sure, she won't say much but gets in a right state if I say she has to see him or if she's naughty she begs me not to tell him and gets very upset! She said he shouts at her and locks her in her room. He's not a very tactile person whereas I am so she doesn't get much attention/cuddles. He tends to leave her alone a lot. She also hates where he lives as she doesn't have her own room, clothes are in a bag, her bed is uncomfortable and there is stuff piled everywhere 😢

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 27/02/2019 20:11

Why is the eldest terrified of him? That would be my main concern.

Original poster
myexisanasshole · 27/02/2019 20:10

That's what I thought, thanks.

OP posts:
Smoggle · 27/02/2019 20:01

Main parent is usually assumed to be the one who claims the child benefit.

Original poster
myexisanasshole · 27/02/2019 19:59

It is a custody issue I'm just wondering if he can claim them

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 27/02/2019 19:47

Doesn’t sound like a 30 hours issue tbh but a custody issue!

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