Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Food

58 replies

Pistachiolover · 21/02/2019 21:00

I have had my live in nanny for over a year looking after my toddler son. We order delivery of food from Sainsbury and putting in her food bill for her and my son used to be about £70 a week. However in the past few months it’s increased to about £120 a week which I thought was quite a lot. Her explanation is that my son is eating a lot more (I haven’t noticed an increase in his appetite). This increase in food coincided with the arrival of a new boyfriend on the scene and her sleeping over at his place most nights. So she started handing us the receipts of food she buys when she doesn’t stay at home.

Last week in addition to the usual Sainsbury delivery order, she has given us receipts for an additional £150 of food that she has bought and eaten. This seems to me to be unreasonable as she’s buying things like wine (surely I shouldn’t have to pay for alcohol?).

How much is reasonable for food? Is there a better way to deal with this. This situation is very annoying for me as it’s obvious that these receipts are her boyfriends shopping not just hers so I’m effectively paying for him as well.

[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying information for the OP]

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
PCohle · 22/02/2019 11:28

I think the idea with a live in nanny is that you add a few extra bits to (generously) supplement the family shop for her. Not that you fund the entire luxury food bill for 2 adults living in separate accommodation.

Are you happy with her otherwise?

Lamentations · 22/02/2019 10:58

You shouldn't be paying for her and her boyfriend to eat nice meals with wine at his house. That's her choice as you've already paid for her food at yours. She's taking advantage.

NuffSaidSam · 21/02/2019 22:38

In that case there is no need to be overly genourous with food budget.

Work out what you think is reasonable and give her cash. It's up to her what she buys and where.

She's always living in though. She's not living out when she stays somewhere else. The deal is you offer a reduced wage plus somewhere to live and all meals. That's the case no matter where she is sleeping. Think of the money you're saving on the electricity/gas/water bill now she's using someone else's amenities!

Original poster
Pistachiolover · 21/02/2019 22:14

Thanks for all your comments.

@babysharkah - our contract doesn’t say anything about when she’s not living in as I hadn’t anticipated her “living out” when I hired a live in nanny.

She never eats with us (even though I tell her she’s welcome to). She doesn’t even eat with my son (perhaps occasionally breakfast).

We never stop her eating anything in our home (she actually gives us a shopping list of food to order for her and my son each week)

@nuffsaidsam - we had her yearly annual review recently and I checked to see what live in pay was like to make sure she was getting at least market rates (she is in fact getting above market rates).

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 21/02/2019 21:10

It sounds like she's taking the mick tbh!

It does depend in part on how well you're paying her - if it's well below average then it would be fair that you compensate with increased food payments.

Generally, you should provide all 'normal' food. So that's 21 meals a week, plus reasonable snacks (maybe 2 a day for argument's sake) and tea/coffee/juice. I would say one cheapish bottle of wine a week would be reasonable as well (if she ate with you and you had a glass of wine, I'd expect her to be offered one to, so it's the same thing really). You're not required to pay for any takeaways or meals out, excess alcohol or any caviar.

If the system isn't working anymore, agree a weekly food budget and just give her cash and let her but her own food.

RicStar · 21/02/2019 21:07

I don't know what your contract says - I would think that she can eat freely at your home food you buy in - in practice perhaps and agreed shopping list / budget but I don't think you need to pay for out of the home food - I would normally expect that to be her choice as would alcohol / treat food.

babysharkah · 21/02/2019 21:04

That's ludicrous. What does your contract say have you agreed to pay for all her food even when she's not living in?!

EssentialHummus · 21/02/2019 21:02

I think you need to agree a reasonable maximum.