Upset with my nanny friend feeding her kids crap!

Perhaps the mother wouldn't mind. If she's the sort who does, she'd probably ask.

fair enough - i take it you think it's the tip of an iceberg or indicative of other problems, where as i think the feeding kids chips thing is within the range of 'normal' [not good just normal/average in the world outside of mumsnet world]. i think lying is a large problem as i have stated. this is an emotive issue and i was directive in my first post, but i hope you'll allow me to have a different opinion to you on this and other issues. 'dangerous' and 'stupid' are strong words and i'm trying hard to be honest here.

It's ill treatment/abuse, if the parent has asked for something and the nanny is deliberately lying and giving something else.

I agree with SofiaAmes. The mother probably has an idea and, is maybe, interviewing for a new nanny. I know I would be.

I still think you have to be pretty unaware to not know what your child is eating. Mine went to a childminder and then nursery/preschool and I could always tell what they had eaten without asking...a child that age always has remnants of their meals on their clothes and smells like what they have eaten and you see bits of it in their poo. I wouldn't have known what happened on an occasional basis, but I would know if my child had chips or a pasty everyday instead of a freshly cooked meal with fruit and vegetables. We keep a bowl of fruit in our house and veg in the fridge. I would notice if it wasn't getting eaten. Or if it was disappearing and the peel or cuttings didn't show up occasionally in the garbage.

I would be mad about this. I would also be really mad if I was paying someone to care for my child and they took them to BK (sorry!). Even if only a one off. And especially if 'as a treat'. My children have NEVER been to ANY burger place, because the food is crap. End of story for me!!!

That depends on your perspective I suppose. I think pissing about with definitions of terms like "abuse" is dangerous and stupid. Abuse means ill-treatment, particularly deliberate or preventable ill-treatment.

In the spectrum of awfulness that an adult can do to a child, it's not that bad.

But to an employer paying good money for their child to be looked after, it's totally out of order. It's lazy, careless, mean and 100% shabby. She doesn't deserve a job. She doesn't deserve her employer's trust and she should go and work in a chip shop if she likes them so darned much.

ok lets say i'm on the arguably it's not side then! it's specifically a crap situation for this child because this nanny needs more training at the very least, but taken in the context of mistreatment of children it doesn't rate very high does it?

ummm - abuse means ill-treatment. Which this arguably is. Speaking as a veteran of experiences which you would certainly term abusive.

She's a disgrace. That's for sure. What does she say when you threaten to tell?

FGS how hard is it to make a ham/cheese sandwich, chop an apple up and plonk a yoghurt on the table? bingo, lunch.

this is exactly why I don't have a nanny tbh, I appreciate there are some great ones but it would be just my luck to end up with the sausage roll giving one

umm- it's not abuse -as any victim of abuse would know, but the misuse of that word is another thread!
lying to one's employer and not being bothered to prepare a sandwich when it is one of your specified duties is ignorant and deserves a severe rollicking. i do think though that it is symptomatic of a whole sections of society who are ill educated about food and a little education plus a strong word about respect and her job being in question might sort it out.
my children have been to the chip shop and the sweet shop today, but yesterday was organic chicken and salad - balance is key and all those mums being ultra strict will find teenagers rebelling hugely [can you tell i'm the child of lentil weavers?]

She's a crap nanny. Feeding a two year old is the easiest thing in the world and if she can't be bothered to do that, then she's a waste of space. And probably an expensive waste of space. That said, tricky as a friend to know what to do. I couldn't stand to know her personally because unprofessional people irritate me.

PS: apart from the lack of nutrients, there is also the massive amount of salt in those things, to be considered. Assuming he is not a very large toddler, he could be getting way more than the recommended max amount every single day.

If she can't be bothered to feed this child properly, can she be bothered to talk to him or play with him or help him with his speech problems? I would certainly want my nanny to be a lot more active with my child in this case. If I were you I would tell his mum, as he not getting the care he needs.

Well, to be fair SofiaAmes, if the mother asks every day what the child has had and gets a convincing answer, what more can she do? You don't hire a nanny so you can follow her around checking whether she's a bare-faced liar. I think it's just rotten luck that this nanny happens to be a workshy slovenly woman. This sort of thing is one of the reasons I would rather do my own childcare though.

I would be furious. Lazy cow. How difficult is it to make lunch for a toddler?

I realise how excruciating it is for you (I loathe confrontation in RL, am a real coward) but if you can bring yourself to have a word with his mother you'd be doing him a favour IMO.

It that's too much, maybe you should tell your friend in a firm and non-jocular way that either it stops or you tell the parents. She must know it's disgraceful.

I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.there are a lot worse things she could be doing.what is she like in other ways? does she do a good job?

i think the lying is more out of order than what she is feeding him but i do think you should stay out of it tbh,unless you are a very close friend of the mother.

If she is lying, I would say something. If the child has a speech delay he may have other issues where the nutrition that he gets is more important than normal. I still can't imagine being that removed from your child's care that you don't notice that they are getting junk food everyday. Perhaps the mother doesn't care anyway.

God, I would be so, so upset if my CM was doing this. You should say something

What's really not OK about this is the fact that she is lying to the parents about it. What else does she lie about? I would have no issue with my DC having occasional chips or BK from a Nanny, as I would let them have them occasionally myself, but I would absolutely expect to be told the truth about what they had eaten.

As others have said, until he is old enough to tell his parents himself this little boy needs a voice and it looks (uncomfortable as it is) as though that is you.

bad - do tell her for the little boys sake, he needs a voice here....

If i fed my charges junk food I would expect to have a severe warning!

My boss is very particular (and rightly so) about a well balanced diet.

A proffesional Nanny provides well balanced, nurtitional daily meals, those who dont are

1. not proffesional 2.idiots

Think of the damage this daily junk meal is doing to him! You need to ay something to your friend. Its not acceptable.

When we drive past macdonalds or burger king or wimpey we say Eurggghhhh! do you know how much crap is in their burgers, or fat in their chips? Its not good meat, its all the crap, bones ,insides splodged together.

Gross.

I am a bit at this tbh. Where is the money coming from? Although tbh chips or a sausage roll are quite cheap options. Have you said anything to the nanny about it?