Nanny ill 3 times in 5 months.

If you have a nanny contract always put SSP only in it and that way you can choose whether to pay sick pay or not. We decided to do that as I had a few friends who had exactly the same issue as you do.
We rarely had anyone ringing in sick.

Proper nannies should be cooking for the children, its a basic nanny role. Do it one meal at a time and take photos of each stage if necessary. We now have au pairs and they all could cook for the children within a couple of months.

As a nanny, I have taken 9 days sick in 32 years, none in the last 5 years. 5 of the 9 were 3 when I put my back out and 2 when I had abscesses and hadn’t slept at all the previous night and had a lot of driving to do so didn’t feel safe to be in charge of young children. The other 4 were when my employers sent me home after coming in to work looking and sounding like death!

I will go into work when ill rather than letting my employers down unless it’s dangerous for me to (back or neck problems) I will go in with a tummy bug if the children have had it (and given it to me! Although I very rarely get tummy bugs as I’m meticulous with hand washing and not getting too close)

I would tell her that you need to have a meeting, tell her that you understand that people get ill but that you cannot not go into work at very short notice being that you are just going back. Tell her that if she takes time off you will be unable to pay her more than SSP as you will have to get emergency cover.

I would also buy her a simple cookbook, Delia or Annabel Karmel are good for novices, ask her to have a look through and to let you know what recipes she would like to try next week and you’ll get the ingredients in.

To be fair, my first job my charge ate rehydrated baby food for the entire 20 months I looked after him! He was 7 months at the start and mum and I had no idea! Second job, 2.5 and 1.5 boys who lost their mum 3 months previously, youngest ate baby jars and older one ate sausages or beans on toast or sandwiches! Was a tough job for the first 6-8 weeks, eldest was scared his dad wouldn’t come back, just like his mum. Dad wasn’t eating properly either so once I had the children’s trust, I started cooking for all of them, my repertoire was not that great, dad sent me on a 10 week cookery course!! I now cook for my employers 2/3 times a week.

I agree with return to work and also making clear she won't get paid. We have had two nannies over past four years and first was just one of those people who wasn't super resilient - picked up bugs and not good at working through a minor illness. I can think of two occasions where she had three absences in 5 months. My experience of nannies generally has been that they are more resilient than most.

You may find when you go back to work that she's more reliable - she may feel both that it's less of an inconvenience to you now and also less inclined to drag herself in if you're around and may see her taking it a bit easy.

That said, reading your post I'm going to be honest she doesn't sound great, I would probably look for a new nanny now so you have time before you go back.

She doesn't sound fantastic, frankly.
However, it's also possible that because she knew you were home, she felt less obliged to come in when sick.
She's also an employee with the same rights as By other. So I'd go with what a pp said, you going back to work is a good opportunity to go over your expectations (including cooking for the children, especially if it's in the contract), and being more official about absences including a return to work interview, and keeping proper note of holiday and sick pay etc.
If she's then having persistent absences you'd need to follow a proper procedure for any redundancy, do you use a nanny payroll company? They can help.

If you are going back to work next week, this is the ideal time to discuss with her what your expectations are now that you aren't going to be in the house during the day. She should be doing cooking for the DC and their household duties at the very least - i.e. their laundry, tidying their rooms and toys.

I would also raise the issue about reliability.

It sounds like the ad-hoc hours she worked for her previous employer suits her better than the hours you require her to do.

What were her references like?

What were her references like? Did her previous employers flag up any issues?

Google emergency nannies in your area. They often send the same person.

Regarding your nanny, do you pay for sick leave? What does your contract say? I do but it's not in the contract, so it's goodwill. If it was abused, I would stop payments.

Compassionate leave for an ill pet? She's playing you like a bloody fiddle there. And you're allowing it btsoi.

Did you take up references for her? Did they mention anything like this?

Unfortunately nannies can be more unreliable as they're just 1 person. If you need reliability you need a nursery not a nanny.

The good nannies offer to come in when ill, if it's nothing too bad. The good employers let them have a tv day when coming in when ill.

I think you need to be a bit tougher on the can't cook thing. If you can read, you can cook. Just read the packet, look up a recipe on the internet. She needs to live up to her promises.

3 absences in 6 months is a trigger for many organisations to start formal proceedings. What were the absences for?

Time for a sit down chat before next week. You have to be confident in her abilities so need to iron out any issues before you go back to work. It will benefit all of you, I think.

Depends on the issues

What other issues?

I would be wary if your instinct is telling you something especially when it comes to a nanny.

Hmm - people have been different attitudes to illness. An old nanny was very reliable for the first two years we employed her but finally took sick leave for minor illnesses ( she was planning to leave and no longer cared). Our current nanny pitched up every day during pregnancy even with morning sickness. I told her to baton down the hatches, put the tv on and do no housework. I was hugely relieved that she didn’t call in sick.

What are the other issues?