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Original poster

Nanny dilemma or how many of you nannies have had an affair with an employer?

107 replies

justaphase · 27/06/2007 08:16

I have my hard hat handy here but this is the question:

My best friend's nanny as left after 7 years and she now has to find a new one. She has interviewed 20 ladies in the last couple of weeks. She really liked one girl - she was very enthusiastic about the job and interacted with the kids well.
The problem is, she is 19 and absolutely gorgeous, according to my friend. My friend WOH quite long hours and her dh works from home. So she is having second thoughts.

Her other option is somebody who was recommended by the current nanny who my friend thought was fine but not nearly as enthusiastic and energetic as the first lady.

OK, opinions please.

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Notquitegrownup · 27/06/2007 10:06

No expert here, but I did know one very attractive 19 year old who fell for her employer big time.

If your friend has doubts already, I don't think it is sensible for her to put herself in a situation where her fears will be tested. If she is going to be worrying, that will raise the tension in her marriage, and then make a carefree 19 year old seem even more attractive.

MrsWobbles point is a good one, but only if they are in an area where the nanny can get out and socialise a lot. If they are at all isolated I'd be inclined to agree with justaphase.

nannyj · 27/06/2007 09:58

I've never come across this and neither have any of my nanny friends in the 10 years i have been a nanny. Maybe we're all ugly though

bozza · 27/06/2007 09:03

Definitely see MrsWobble's pov.

MrsWobble · 27/06/2007 08:48

i was once told that the more attractive the nanny the less likely it was to be a problem as an attractive girl would have her pick of boyfriends so a middle aged man with family ties was unlikely to rate high - obviously all situations are different and your friend needs to make her own mind up.

chipmonkey · 27/06/2007 08:37

For me this wouldn't be an issue as I trust my dh 100%. But after a channel 4 programme a couple of years ago about Dads had run off with the Au pairs, a friend of mine and I were chatting at the school gates with another mum who I had only just met. She admitted that she had been the nanny for her current dp and had had an affair with him resulting in the end of his marriage. "Shit happens!" was her attitude!

Original poster
justaphase · 27/06/2007 08:35

I think you are right in an ideal world. But there is trusting your husband and there is sticking temptation under his nose.

I also trust my husband but we took our nanny on holiday last week, together with another family of friends. There we were, all sitting at the dinner table and both guys flirting with the nanny.

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 27/06/2007 08:24

Does she not trust her husband at all then? If she does then the age/condition of the nanny should be totally irrelevant.