Nanny dilemma or how many of you nannies have had an affair with an employer?

How ridiculous. She's obviously taking a risk if the level of trust within her marriage is that non existent.

I employed a gorgeous young Au Pair - totally beautiful and good natured, etc. It had no bearing whatsoever on whether she was likely to try it on with my then dp. Unattractive women and men have affairs too!

Anyway, what's a 19 yr old going to see in a sleep deprived middle aged bloke, eh? Just because the dw fancies him doesn't mean totally luscious 19 year olds will fgs.

but do have 19yr old au pair turning up for the summer!

she won't be left in sole charge of all of them though. except a bit of babysitting.
She is very pretty and thin and american (good teeth!). But my DH would think she was a child

my view is no under 23s

I nearly interviewed a 21 yr old but she disappeared. now am about to hire a 33 year old. Last one was 25 when we hired her 30 when she left.

I actually think there is a big difference between 19 and 21. 21 is my lower limit. In fact, have lovely 21 year old arriving next week. Am very confident she won't be interested in DH.

But, if she is, I am prepared to consider reasonable offers.

Hmmmmm....

^^

Not that my husband doesn't trust me, of course.

oh for goodness sake if she can't trust her husband not to leap on a 19 year old, what is she doing with him?

parp

erm.... does no one else on this thread put a red flag on "she is 19..."

19?!?!?! Forget what she looks like, she is practically a baby herself.

Bur, since this thread is about her looks, I think your friend should not hire her because it is obviously an issue for her. And let's face it, she's not alone. Lots of nanny/aupair employers avoid the gorgeous ones. That is perhaps a bit unfair, but it does happen. And then there are the fat nanny threads. Now that's not terribly PC either, is it? But, the point is your friend does have an issue with this and shhe is therefore not the right nanny for her.

19?!?! Has she ever hired a nanny before?

Even if the nanny isn't interested, and even if the wife can trust the husband not to do anything 100%, what about fantasy?

I reckon most men would at least think about the nanny in that way if she is gorgeous. Could your friend deal with that likelihood, even if she knows nothing will happen?

Maybe my dp is just a letch, but while I trust him not to stray, I know how his mind works, and I am not sure I would want that so close to home tbh...

My last aupair was an absolutely stunning 20 years old size 10 polish girl. It was hot, she was wearing hotpants and crop tops, I still did not worry. My husband is not even 35, fit and handsome, and a company director, I could see the appeal, but neither had any interest in eachother. I was never concerned because I trust my husband. She was here a year and my kids loves her! Totally great girl.

I think your friend need to analyze why she is so worried. Is she generally jealous and insecure? Does she have reason to?

When I was 18 a friend of a friend left to Manchester as aupair and she returned home with the family father in tow. When asked why, she just replied "I just wanted to see if I could". She booted him a few weeks later. So it definitely happens. In this instance I most certainly agree with MrsWobble!

There are many steps between attraction and an affair. I think it would be hard to have someone around all the time to whom I was attracted (even if it wasn't in any way reciprocated). You end up with a slightly more intimate relationship with people who work in your home than even in the workplace. If she thinks that the nanny is of "the type" that her dh would fall for, then probably best to steer clear (assuming that her dh has a reasonably healthy libido). But not because it would inevitably lead to an affair, just because it puts more strain on a relationship. Conversely being attracted to someone outside of home can have a positive effect on your marriage.

Abroller, I totally agree. both parties are guilty, none of this innocent single girl rubbish.

If you have an affair with a married man, you know you are ruining someones life.

NannyL I have to disagree, they would both be equally guilty. She may be single and therefore not cheating on a partner but she would be fully aware that there was a wife and children, a whole family to hurt and ruin by engaging in anything with the married man - disgusting and unforgivable in IMO. To be put in a position of trust with young childrens lives and destroying them in the process, WTF?

I can see the worry of a young gorgeous 19 something coming to work in her house and her being jealous of her looks, but come on now, where is the trust?

if the nanny is brilliant, and just what the family wanted surely she can put her worries behind her.

If shes going to trust her new nanny inwith her children, she has to trust her in all areas!

besides, would a 19 year old really fancy an older bloke with baggage?

Ive only ever heard of one affair in my 14 years of nannying, and it was a 30 year old nanny who had an affair with her nanny friends boss.

If shes really worried she could go down the route of an employer I know quite well........employ a manny! (or ugly girls oinly!!!!)

single young girl having an affair with a married man - has less to be guilty of than a married man ???
..i seem to remember a small matter of the ninth commandment that went something like "thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife/husband".
[sigh] i am such a catholic.
Sorry, in my books, both are equally culpable.

It may take 2 to tango....

But if you look at

MARRIED MAN.... Vs Young single girl then its the married man who should have more a guilty conscience than the SINGLE girl...

He is cheating on is wife.... She is not cheeting on anyone!

Sorry but if a wife cant trust her husband... and a husband cant keep his hands off the nanny then there is a problem with their marriage and nothing else.

Am just in process of recruiting au pair. A friend of mine warned me of the "danger". I am afraid I laughed my head off.

Complacent? Moi? Damn tooting right.

An aquaintance of dh employed a nanny who had an affair with her previous boss just "to keep his wife on her toes". Nice guy. Mind you, she was a doormat....

My first nanny was a complete and utter babe. Didn't worry me at all tbh (even though she started when I'd only just had ds1 and I loooked a mess). I think it depends on both the nanny and the husband. If the husband is a bit letchy and leery then no and if the nanny is uber flirty and pays more attention to the husband than the wife then no.

I don't think many nannies go into childcare with the intention of pinching someone else's husband!

Sounds like she needs to work on trust issues.

Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean that she & the dh will click.

OTOH, even girls who aren't as pretty still have lots of things to say & good personalities, so why be more worried about pretty girls than not to pretty ones.

OMG.... i also know nobody and no of nobody... through friends of friends of friends etc who have gone off with their bosses.

Even if i did it would be the MARRIED MANS fault rather than the single young GIRL

If you don trust your husband then its YOUR problem and not your nannies