Nanny dilemma or how many of you nannies have had an affair with an employer?

Teacher/student
Doctor/patient
Boss/secretary
Dad/nanny

vet/dog?

tee-hee

Xenia - no I don't feel that way, I like to be surrounded by clean, groomed, attractive people - I think it actually helps me keep my own standards high

They are classic man in charge woman under them as it were, literally in this case. Obeying orders etc. Let us not forget droit de signeure or whatever it was/is - male employer to sleep with the servants etc.

Um, well, I was 19 and certainly not so thick that I failed high school.

Spent my sophomore year of high school in France - where I lost my virginity .

So essentially Paris is the start of the road to Hell.

Is that sophomore in Uni or Highschool?

I was already well on the road to slutdom when I walked into his sophomore philosophy class .

But, expat, we expect these sort of stories from you.

I was 19 and had an affair with a married man of 43 for over a year.

I had a lovely body and face but he was one sexy, fit bloke.

I didn't want to marry him, just sleep with him.

He wasn't my employer, he was my professor.

So, yes, it does happen.

No, I'm not proud of it.

But people are attracted to all kinds of things and some have a penchant for older men.

20 years ago people were making it a term of nanny contracts they don't smoke. I'm sure they still do. I always have.

On looks a lot of women certainly in London prefer mannies actually - attractive young men etc so let's not be sexist. I'm sure it works both ways.

Anna, I have no problems having people who don't look good around at all. The twins best nanny was about 18 stone, really good. When she left to have her baby I had later some calls from potential employers who all raised her weight and I said it wasn't a problem which it wasn't. Surely if you follow how most people have traditionally been - Snow White fairy tale etc most people's internal aim is to have people around them who look worse to make them feel better as it were.

LOL -- that one has actually not occurred to me. And it would be a problem because my nannies are live in. I guess I would have to go through a diciplinary procedure. It has never happened, and fingers crossed my new nanny will be nice and clean!

Eleusis - How do you field your "Do you smell?" line of questioning?

I think that these things have to be dealt with in the interview stage. I have both covered by sending a questionnaire which asks them if they smoke (if they say "yes" they are removed from the potential nanny list), and I ask them for a picture, and I don't speak to them further until they provide it. This picture is not actually for the purpose of finding out how attractive they are. But, if that was a concern it would help me weed out the pretty ones.

There is another thread on the go about a new mother who has hired a nanny and since found out she is a smoker. My little boy's best friend's nanny smokes (his parents work long hours in the city) and when she drops him off for tea - he reeks of cigarette smoke. Having said that she is very good with him and they are clearly very fond of one another. Personally I would offer the smoker money (yep, bribery) to give up. And in the case of BO I would kindly mention it and try and provide help and support. Clearly if the nanny prefers to smoke on or stink on then perhaps she is not that committed to her job in the first place. Perhaps there should be a clause in the nanny contract about smoking and having good personal hygiene standards. Not sure what you do about someone being drop dead gorgeous - perhaps a Shrek mask or a Tellytubbie outfit (with extra padding) to be worn at all times whilst on duty?

I'd put "bad personal hygiene" as a sub-category of "unattractive".

Just definitions.

Ok, I'm with you on BO. Just not unattractive. Not really the same thing.

eleusis - a friend of mine had to end her nounou's contract early because she just couldn't stand the lingering smell of BO... there are some things that are hard to put up with I think.

The wife of married friends of mine (she is the dominant person in the house) vetted their nannies and help in the house staff and was not ashamed to tell us that such and such a nanny was disregarded for further interview because she was too attractive. We all sniggered at her cynicism and attempt to control. Fifteen years later, out of a group of three couples (including me) her marriage is the only one that has survived!

Speaking of which, I think that "...but unpleasant to have unattractive person around your house and children all day" is a really shallow thing to say.

That's true. Sometimes even I agree with Anna.

zookeeper - well, I think you were being a bit paranoid or something - you can violently disagree with a poster on one issue and be totally in tune on another you know

Indeed

zookeeper - if you read the threads, you'll find that Xenia and I share opinions on a lot of issues - education, economics etc

mmm I think you're being a bit economical with the truth

I'll butt out on the (generous) assumption you may be right

actually, I was rather agreeing with her on this thread I thought - just interested in knowing how she would address the issue.