Nanny dilemma or how many of you nannies have had an affair with an employer?

I remember that programme on TV - I think she met her husband whilst he was in prison and she was doing some theatre work for convicts (sorry if that sounds Mr Micawber-ish) and she went on to marry him when he was released from prison. She seemed rather messed up to me. Sadly shagging the nanny is not an indictable offence. LOL

my dsis got rid of a maid because the girl had such an obvious crush on her dh. well, the girl was also really crap at her job, but dsis didnt want to deal with issues that would have arisen from temptation etc etc etc. even thoguh she trusted her dh completely.
there's trust, and there's being stupidly naive.

Does anyone remember that woman a few years ago whose story was all over the papers, Lady somebody or other, who hired an au pair from Poland? Au pair was actually described as looking like "the backend of a bulldog" in the papers, also published really unattractive shots of her. The woman's friends said, you've done well there, no chance your husband will be interested. Anyway...you can probably guess what happened next, he did run off with her, they moved into a flat together etc etc. Finally fizzled out and she was attempting to rebuild her marriage.

Her takeaway on the situation was that it doesn't matter WHAT the woman looks like in many cases, it's all to do with the fact that some men just can't resist women (especially young women) with crushes on them. Too flattering.

Sooo...re OP...setting aside the trust issues, not sure weeding out the gorgeous ones is the answer, I guess I would look more at the person's attitude and her chemistry with the whole family. I'm sure the OP's friend is just nervous about the whole idea of having someone new around.

Oh my! Never considered that.

Eleusis - perhaps their oldest child is the gardener's, so she forgives from a different perspective .

Gosh, she forgave him? I would never forgive my husband (or the nanny) if they had an affair. NEVER!

The marriage would be over and it would be his fault.

Jan - would it have made a difference if you had a car, do you think? LOL

It does happen....

I had an affair with my boss and I was a nanny.....

I was 18, young, slim, carfree, pretty...he was 40s beer belly, tash....!!!

Looking back now I just cringe to think of it! Was just a bit of fun for me back then, never considered the consequences...which were bad, I fell pregnant (which looking back now luckily for me was ectopic so I didn't go to term), his wife found out and our stupidity nearly tore their family apart..

Luckily they sorted themselves out and are still together today!

I know a few friends who have had liasons with their bosses too...

Jen

Conversely I have known some people who I think at first are really very attractive and the more I get to know them the less attractive they become, one or two even morphing into the distinctly unattractive category!
I think the OP should choose the best person for the job and try and lay her insecurities to rest. I bet employers of nannies and au pairs are no more likely to have sex with the attractive ones than they are the unattractive ones.

fwoarrh robin williams? mork? Mrs Doubtfire?

so did keith chequin.......eurrggghhh, god what was the girl thinking.

And he's hairy, short and ugly.

Rich, though .

Robyn Williams left his wife for their nanny.

I have to say that most of my nanny friends are rather gorgeous but would never think twice about flirting or starting a relationship with their boss!

(unless he was jude law!)

Our first nanny was extraordinarily fat, quite possibly 18 stone. Some friends told me how clever I was to go for a plump one, so that DH would not be tempted, but to be honest it had really never occurred to me.

last caroline or ever start? I think she should trust him. What is a marraige without trust?

So I suppose what I am saying to the original poster is the relationship between your husband and his attractive young employee is unlikely to last!!!!!

I didn't fancy my partner at all when I first met him. I grew to love him the more I got to know him. Now I think he is devastatingly attractive. Attraction is a very strange thing and not something that is explained easily. Sometimes other commodities (for example wealth, power) are used in barter and trade for looks, but these relationships are precarious because they are not multi faceted and are therefore unable to evolve and mature.

Xenia - no I don't think it's weird, in fact wherever I've ever worked (always client focused) physical attractiveness has always counted for a lot in recruitment

tesco delivery man/ box of cornflakes.....

shepherd/sheep
farmer/cow

This Labour government scuppered sex with animals in the Sexual Offences Act a few years ago I'm afraid so the vets have to go abroad I suppose if that's what they're into.

Bit weird to need to see attractive people, Anna, isn't it? What if your daughter have been or becomes disfigured or your partner? How would you handle that?

smeel (smell oops)

on the smeel front, there was an aupair at the school where I do pick ups and do stand ins sometimes, and oh boy did he have a BO problem. It was awful It was really strange that the parents didnt say anything as they were veery tidy, well respected people. The mum in particular was a yummy mummy, she looked glam all of the time and smelled of expensive perfume. V strange. He suddenly started smelling nicely after a few weeks when my youngest charge in the school queue standing next to him said 'eurrrgghhhh, what is tha smeel ,you smell like meat pie...' I could have died. Out of the mouth of babes?!