Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Borderterrierpuppy · 02/12/2018 21:26

Absolutely no way an unexpected death could possibly happen on a Friday and be buried by then. They are totally taking the piss. I would ask them for details and watch them squirm.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 21:12

I would do what Topsey says. Tell them they have to pick up from school tomorrow. Tell the school what's happened and say you won't be picking up. If they're abroad, they have less than 24 hours to get back Grin

Topseyt · 02/12/2018 21:01

I think you have been too soft here. I would have stuck with having said that she would have to collect her own children from school tomorrow.

Calzone · 02/12/2018 20:38

Unless it’s a particular religion, it’s highly doubtful that a funeral could take place this quickly.

I really think you have been duped OP.

titchy · 02/12/2018 20:36

Amazing to be able to organise a funeral at the weekend - and to take place within 48 hours....

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 02/12/2018 19:47

Why don’t you ask her to help out sometimes then? You say she would do it. I don’t get this, I would help out friends in their hour of need and I would seek help in mine. But why bother coming here to complain? I thought that is what friends do?

halfwitpicker · 02/12/2018 19:29

Talk about being a door mat!

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 19:27

but i forgot to say they should have come back or one of them could until tues

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 19:26

as much as i think theyre cf there is certain religions where u get buried within 48 hours my dm died on sunday was buried on tues at this time of year

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:24

What have they been doing???

Having a nice long weekend somewhere and thought they'd squeeze the OP for a little extension on that.

sheswhat · 02/12/2018 19:23

He was critical on Friday and his funeral is on Tuesday? In December? Something isn't adding up here.

Ginger1982 · 02/12/2018 19:17

Wow...they couldn't come back in between him dying and the funeral? What have they been doing???

Original poster
msn1946 · 02/12/2018 19:16

That’s the thing though. I think if I had asked she would have done it for me. But I have never asked her for anything ever. Whereas even in the past she used to ask me if I can pick up her kids from daycare ( I used to be at work) because of really flimsy reasons( one time because she hadn’t finished shopping for a trip and she was still at the store!!) I always always said no to each of those instances. But since this was an emergency situation, I said yes and this is what happened.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 02/12/2018 19:14

Good for you Op!

I suspect you'll also be quietly dropping them as friends too.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:12

Why would both of them be needed, anyway? Have you seen their FB pages?

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:12

Something's going on, OP. There's no way their cousin died. They're on holiday.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 19:11

But in England there is no way a funeral would take place so quickly.

Youmadorwhat · 02/12/2018 19:04

MadMum5811 it depends on where she is here in Ireland when someone dies they are buried usually within 3-4 days

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:04

Exactly, madmum. Bet they've had a lovely long weekend away. And they're laughing at you, OP.

Iloveacurry · 02/12/2018 19:03

That’s a bit much. They both don’t need to be with the cousins wife and kids for a whole week. That’s just ridiculous. How can they get the time off work for a week at such short notice? It’s not like it’s immediate family either.

madmum5811 · 02/12/2018 19:02

They managed to get the cousin buried on Tuesday, at this time of year, wow took us three weeks nearly when we lost family in the winter. You are a softie.

dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 19:02

She chose you well! Nearly a free week of childcare! Bet she never offers you a bean. What a twat to do this to her kids.

You don't need to figure anything out. After this you just start fobbing her off every time she contacts you.

I'll bet you London to a brick she's been using you for years.

Original poster
msn1946 · 02/12/2018 19:00

Yes, she did. And asked if I could do it till Tuesday because the services are to be held on tuesday. I know I am being a pushover, but I said yes to taking care of them till Tuesday evening. I don’t care for her but the kids are really sweet and I am telling myself I am doing it for their sake. But after this incident, I realize this whole friendship has been an emotional drain on me right from the start. And I need to figure out a way to cut off.

OP posts:
dontalltalkatonce · 02/12/2018 18:59

She was having you on. Twats like this use the element of surprise to get away with their pisstaking. Please do yourself a favour and look online for some ways to become more assertive. The whole 'tried to tell them we had plans but they didn't get the hint' - bullshit, they know exactly what they were doing, they don't give a shit.

TELL the school when you drop them off that you will not be collecting them, their parents have been told to do so and they are not to call you if their parents don't appear, in fact I'd block the school's number.

Don't fall for any bullshit, bogus excuses or guilt trips from the parents. 'I told you I can't keep them any longer. You need to collect them from school tomorrow.'

And that's it.

Youmadorwhat · 02/12/2018 18:58

A cousins passing does not mean *