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Original poster

Friend asked me to babysit for the whole week!

118 replies

msn1946 · 02/12/2018 15:48

My friend and her husband had a family emergency. So they had to go help out their family who are 40 miles away. The first night of the emergency they left their 2 toddlers with us and I was okay with that. I dropped them off to their school which is quite far from our house and picked them up. But the parents said they would need us to keep their kids almost for the whole week! I understand they have an emergency but since they are only 40 miles away, I would think one of the parents would be back to take care of the kids? I have a toddler myself and I am totally overwhelmed with everything. Am I petty in feeling resentful?

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Original poster
msn1946 · 05/12/2018 19:29

When they came to pick up the kids for the funeral service, I believe they said thank you to my husband, didn’t say anything to me. But maybe they were too pre-occupied at that time. She later sent me a message saying thank you is not enough for what you did. So that is something, I suppose. I for one am very glad to have my house and my routine back.

OP posts:
Calzone · 05/12/2018 18:49

Was she appreciative?

Did she bring you a present to say thank you?

shiningstar2 · 04/12/2018 22:52

That is an awful lot they've asked of you op. That's breakfasts dress them get them to school. Go and collect them give them tea. Baths? Reassuring them? Bed time. For days on end?

Even if it had been a parent ... one day of them both being away would have been generous of you then they would have had to take turns with their support. People have to take turn and turn about with stuff like this if close relatives are in hospital ext without expecting others to take over parental duties for a whole week.

I hope you next post that they have been around to thank you with flowers, wine and chocolates which would be the least they could do. Better still a voucher for a meal out with babysitting provided. Please keep us posted if this happens ...or if it doesn't.

LegoAdventCalendar · 04/12/2018 22:44

Poor kids! My FIL died last month. Cannot imagine abandoning my kids at such a time. Please learn to say no to her. She's a real user.

littlebillie · 04/12/2018 22:37

That would be a no from me

Frazzled2207 · 04/12/2018 22:24

Poor kids. Good on you for looking after them but let them parent their kids in future.

Mumshappy · 04/12/2018 21:23

Poor kids. Your an absolute star doing what you did.

Original poster
msn1946 · 04/12/2018 21:21

I had a chat with the mum yesterday morning and let her know that her kids are really missing them and asking for them a lot and all of that. In spite of me saying that, they only came this morning and picked them up. Apparently they were making arrangements for thr services today and hence couldn’t come yesterday! Anyway, what’s done is done. I have learnt my lesson to not say yes next time. Thanks all for the support.

OP posts:
Mumshappy · 04/12/2018 20:21

Did the parents return OP? I hope your ok

Youmadorwhat · 03/12/2018 08:45

MrMoastyToasty maybe they are too devastated about losing their son/husband/brother so close to christmas?? They seem like a very close, helpful family.

Original poster
msn1946 · 03/12/2018 02:33

Yes, they do have a tragedy in their family, I know that for a fact. And the services are on Tuesday. That is the truth.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 23:41

can people stop stating as fact that u cant have a funeral in two days when you can

WobblyLondoner · 02/12/2018 23:23

There are numerous religions where services typically happen very quickly, ie within a few days (eg Jewish).

Not that this excuses what sounds like really odd behaviour. I can't imagine ever doing this, or any of my friends or acquaintances ever doing it to me.

seven201 · 02/12/2018 22:49

This is absolutely bonkers. It doesn't take both parents to help with one cousin's funeral. My old commute was 35 miles each way - many people commute much further. It's crazy they're expecting you to do this.

IdaDown · 02/12/2018 22:44

Are they sitting shiva?

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/12/2018 22:42

I'd be asking why the cousin's parents/partner/children aren't making the arrangements.

MadeForThis · 02/12/2018 22:39

Irish here and we bury the dead on the third day. So Tuesday funeral would be totally normal here.

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/12/2018 22:33

Ask which undertakers and crematorium/church they are using ? Then do some detective work.

rosablue · 02/12/2018 22:14

I’d try and have a snoop on both their Facebook pages to see if any of their other contacts have mentioned anything about a funeral... and maybe put on a quick post to say that their phone wasn’t on but to let them know that the dc were hoping to say goodnight to them but are now asleep so you’re all thinking of them and hope that the funeral arrangements are going well, see on Tuesday but speak to you beforehand.

And have they told the dc or are they keeping it from them so as not to stress them or something similar?

I would definitely try to figure out if the funeral is real - there aren’t that many crematoria near to places that it would take long to track them down as you know the day it is happening. Having had to do some detective work to track down a funeral recently, the people who worked at them weee very helpful so it would be easy to say that you’re looking after the deceased’s cousins dc and what time is the funeral in order to work out the time of the wake and when the dc will be picked up. Perfectly legitimate enquiry.

And any other mutual friends —particularly those wired in to any gossip— to find out if others have also looked after the dc when other cousins have died (!) or can see their location on whatsapp or Facebook or whatever as Barcelona rather than just up the road...

LizzieBennettDarcy · 02/12/2018 22:11

It took 6 weeks to arrange my FILs funeral - it took nearly 2 weeks to get the death certificate from the hospital and register the death, let alone get a crematorium slot.

You've been royally had OP.

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 22:07

This is really bugging me. OP, you have to do something!

GabsAlot · 02/12/2018 21:50

like i said is possible but if it was suspicious there would be a post mortem

LegoAdventCalendar · 02/12/2018 21:41

There's no dead cousin. They have had a nice childfree break with free childcare. I'd actually ring their work tomorrow and ask for them. If you're told they're not there, say, 'Oh, when will he/she be back from holiday?' and see what response you get. Who does this to their kids? What shitty parenting.

Mumshappy · 02/12/2018 21:38

Tell her to bring you some duty free perfume back.

LegoAdventCalendar · 02/12/2018 21:36

There was no postmortem? Yet he took ill and died very suddenly? You can't even register a death at the weekend. They are so full of shit, OP! And then when you told them 'no more' she still didn't respect thta and tried it on for another couple of days. What a user. I'd send her a text and say sorry but your child has become ill and you can't do another 2 days for her. What a cheek!