AIBU? Noise at childminder and concentration

This isn't the right CM for you. I visited two. One very quiet, calm and organised. The other loud, lots of fun and very warm. I went with chaos because I knew this would be best for my daughter but if you want somewhere very quiet you need a CM that only has a couple of mindees and a calm, quiet house.

One of the reasons I liked my daughter’s childminder was that she gave her the opertunity to experience different things from the things I enjoyed

This ^
Of course being one of 3 or so dc at a CMers, following the EYFS is going to be different from what you describe your house as being. That is a really positive thing in my book too. YOu dd gets to experience lots of different ways of 'being' and to experience things that you aren't comfortable doing. she is still with you on the days you don't work though, and will learn your ways of doing things too.
It is normal to have concerns about who you leave your dc with I would be worried if you didn't, but you have to accept that they know what they are doing, and, where it will sometimes be a different choice from what you would make about that miniscule thing, that doesn't mean it is a bad thing. It will enrich your dc's life to experience different ways of doing things.

My son seemed to enjoy his kindy he was always happy there.
I was also going to suggest Montessori to you OP.

One of the reasons I liked my daughter’s childminder was that she gave her the opertunity to experience different things from the things I enjoyed. I would say this is a positive for you; your daughter gets to experience a different environment, and you don’t have to listen to “noise”. Win-win!

Perhaps a child minder isn't for you. If it's any help, I am one of six, my house was extremely noisy most of the time but all of us were and are great readers have never had trouble concentrating when required and also enjoy and appreciate silence. I have four DC now and again it can be extremely noisy and busy but all enjoy books and quiet time too. It's hard to get the balance right. I imagine it can be very overwhelming for a little one not used to it. Hope you find something suitable.

Sounds like a fun and lively child minder which it doesn't sound like you are looking for.

Have you considered looking at Montessori nurseries - they are more about learning individually and quiet concentration.

Different nurseries/childcare settings will suit different children. My eldest went to a noisy busy nursery and thrived. Dd2 went there and hated it, I ended up moving her to a Montessori inspired nursery and she thrived. It was calmer, less children and more directed activities.

saltnvinegarchips - you have to remember that ideas on volume is individual this lady says she's at home in the quiet all day so any nursery rhyme may sound to be blaring if 10 children are singing along and making music along to it, music is not a quiet activity. The purpose of the music is to help the children hear a rhythm and naturally join in with it. The purpose of the song is to teach rhyming pattern of words. A music time with a teacher clapping a rhythm is not enjoyable to young children and very out of date.

My son went to daycare and kindy at the same place from 9 months until he started school. (Australia, am not in the UK) I got to know the teachers well over that time and was well aware of how they structured their day. They had times they played instruments but not with music blaring and a light show. The kindy had video you could watch on your phone from an app if you felt like seeing what your child was up to.

I agree with other pp. a nanny sounds a better option for you. Nurseries and childminders adhere to strict early years statutory guidance and areas of development and learning, this includes banging musical instruments. There are a whole host of aspects to be covered and it gives all early years providers opportunities for observations to go with next steps in the child's learning journey. I doubt very much she will do the music thing everyday. Everything a child does or doesn't do, is observed and next steps planned accordingly. We are all unique! (That's a quote from early years btw)

saltnvinegarchips - some setting don't get music out unless Ofsted are there because they don't like the noise but if they are out unless its a one at a time play for 2 minutes then next ones turn they will be bashing instruments - were you there all day every day it doesn't tend to happen at drop of and collection?

My son's nursery was never horribly noisy. Kids chattering and busy yes, but never music blaring and bashing instruments. I wouldn't like that either. What qualifications does she have?

Go and visit her at a few other times I doubt its noisy like that all the time.
Quiet time means children doing a quiet activity not that its the only time no noise is on in the background, but some do have background noise others don't. personally I think its a balance.
The music session of children exploring noise sounds perfect as that is how they discover natural rhythm rather than tapping along to a metronome time for that later.
Sensory play has a place not sure Id do a full on one for a new child but no harm.
Your child will discover her own interests they may not be yours but she's not you. You can have noise and fun and still love books and quiet times, School life is noisy and has distractions developing focused attention is a skill that needs practicing not an isolated box with no distractions.

Absolutely nothing wrong with your thought process. Nothing wrong with the childminder either, but it's the wrong sort of childcare for your aims and expectations.

First you need a very biddable nanny who will follow your wishes. You then need to reorganise your career and lifestyle around the need to homeschool your child. Alternatively, revise your expectations.

My 3 year old will sit quietly with a book for an hour but he is about as far from a calm and quiet child as you can get 😂

My 9 month old is also very quiet because she's a baby, it's what they do, she babbles but has yet to discover the joy of inane questions, singing and general toddlerness.

I agree with PPs who suggest a nanny in your home may suit you better at the moment. I don't think the CM would change for you although neither do l believe the loud noises would affect your baby's concentration. However it's key that YOU are comfortable with her childcare and I don't think you are? Would a nanny be feasible for your family?

With such a firm belief in how things are best or meant to be you are going to have to keep a very tight rein on your daughter because there’s a whole World out there with different personalities and beliefs.

She’ll be what she’ll be. But obviously the less time she spends with you and you alone the less that she will be just like you.

I was once at pick up at my childminder and heard another Mum bollocking the childminder because the child had started using the word “annoying”. The child was about 3 or 4 and according to the women it was not a word they would use at home so she was dismayed this word had been used at childminders. I couldn’t help but think get real woman, there’s loads of other kids here of all ages and you expect it to be exactly like your home? I don’t think a childminder is right for someone with such high expectations and if it’s that important to you it’s time to give up work and homeschool.

I shouldn't think as a childminder she does that constantly every day. She'll do a range of stuff.

I think the OP means first time mum. I have a lot of sympathy OP, I am the sort of person who likes peace and quiet (and have a background in opera too!!) I know my 9mo DS would struggle in a situation like this...he even finds it hard when we visit my parents as everyone wants to play and engage with him and are very loud and he likes to just potter around with his toys and come to other people in his own time. I'm afraid I can't be too much help as I'm staying off work with DS but what I would say is that your DD will turn out to be how she will be, I don't think something like that will ruin her concentration span. It might be worth mentioning to the childminder that she struggles with too much noise and maybe she can find a quite corner for your DD a few times a day so she can have some quiet time!

You’re objecting that small children are banging stuff rather than playing instruments properly? I think you’re going to find this really hard and might echo the nanny suggestion.

I will add that she loves playing PJ Masks etc and running around the garden with her friends. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

But I’m with you op. This particular c/m does sound a bit over the top, my dc would have hated all that noise! All sounds a bit too much.

My daughter is quiet and takes herself away to play and has attended nursery since she was 1. She's about to go to school. I don't think nursery/ childminder or you will change her personality. I wouldn't get fixated on how you want her to be though, she'll be her own person and there's nothing wrong with being a bit more boisterous at times.

Unless you employ a nanny in your own home, you are not going to get that level of quiet. Of course the presence of additional children and adults means extra noise. I’m surprised that you feel that your DD wouldn’t want the company of other children and adults. Why not? I’m nothing at all convinced that being quiet and focused for long periods is something you should or even can encourage in small children’s. Most of them are, by nature, easily distracted and excitable.

We see a lot of posts from parents concerned that their three year old spends too long focussing on one thing and that this signifies something concerning. I’ve never met a 3 year old yet who would be happy with a book for an hour and, to be honest, I would think it was a bit strange if they did.

Also ScaredandShattered Au Pairs are NOT meant for the sole care of a very young child.

All childminders and nurseries will be a bit noisy but not like that. I would look elsewhere.