Help, my new nanny is a bit shouty, and I'm worried, and would like advice on how to handle it

When I interviewed our current nanny I was struck by her level headed attitude and maturity. I was shocked when I found out she was born in 1984! I'm so glad I didn't get hung up on her age - she's very sensible and has an intuition with the dses. Incidentally my nightmare nanny was 27.

My first nanny was just 20 yo when she started with us, and stayed for over 6 years. She was the best nanny we have had, and the children still talk about how wonderful she was.

She was very mature for her age and had already had 3 years experience before we took her on.

I never had any qualms whatsoever with our first nanny, although I found her through the friend who she was nannying for, whose children were all off to school. So I had first hand references if you like

I think you should at least consider an interview - perhpas this time make it a half day one, where she can get to know the children and you can observe how she is with them.

I too found my confidence well and truely shaken with our nanny that didn't work out. But upwards and onwards as they say

Our old nanny was about 22 when she started with us, and really really brilliant, interview her before you dismiss her for her age

You're definitely doing the right thing PPH. I'm around a lot when my nanny is here. I now have office prems nearby because I found it really hard to cope with the shared care thing, esp when the nanny just assumed I could keep the dses amused while she cooked and I tried to work. And 16 month old and paddling pool. Inexcusable.

I'm sure the agency would have checked her references already before putting her CV forward. They are very strict about these things nowadays.

What about the age thing scares you?

Your older children may take advantage, but the nanny clearly has experience so will soon put an end to that.

Car insurance may be an issue, but would you be supplying a car... nanny probably has their own, so insurance is their problem. They may also have been driving for several years, so have some experience of driving, including driving children around.

My age rule is "not less than 21". My current nanny was 21 when she arrived. And her replacement, who arrives in 3 weeks, is also 21. Age is not always an accurate indicator of maturity.

Maybe you should do a day long trial/interview. And of course speak to the reference but you know that. It amazes me that people don't. My current nanny is headed off to a job in Istanbul, and they haven't even called me to see if the reference is really mine. Of course I write her a shining reference, but how do they know it's true?

Anyway, good luck. It will work out in the end, I'm sure.

Do you need someone with paper qualifications? If that isn't important to you, then that candidate is worth interviewing. The nanny has been in a job for 3 years... then did temping abroad (very brave of them, not something I would do) and more recently has been doing 24-hour proxy parent work. Agency is also telling you that while the nanny is young, they have an old head.

Call the agency, see if they can add anything to what you know from the CV. Sounds as though that nanny has the experience of caring for 4 children, which you will be wanting. But the nanny is young, though could have easily been nannying for the past 3 years, if they qualified when they were say 18. Look through the CV for past jobs, see if you can establish when the nanny qualified. Certainly sounds as though they are worth interviewing, just on the fact that they have had sole-charge 24-hour with 4 children.

Sounds like she has the right experience. yes 21 is young but she may have an old head on her shoulders.

Oh, I'm sorry peahead. I really am. Letting them go is NO fun. I guess it's a bit late to say this, but I did think that your conversation went very well. It soulnded like she was listening, she genuinely saw the error of her ways, and she was going to make effort to please you. If ever I need to reprimand an employee (nanny or other job) that is exactly the response I will want.

But, I think your mind is made up now, and for the right reasons. If you (singular you) have come to the point that the trust is gone and ou will spend your time away worrying about DD2 and whether the kitchen is clean, etc. Then, let's face you are not getting value for £350 net per week. That's a healthy salary and you can reasonably not to expect to take on this level managing/training her. If you were paying her £250 live-out full-time, I'd think you might have to expect to offer a bit of on the job training. Yes, as I type this, I am thinking more and more that what is best for the welfare of the little peaheads (and you!) is a new nanny. She is probably trainable, but you didn't really sign up to having to train her.

I did have to let a nanny go once, and it was no fun. So I do sympathise. Good luck. And, of course, let us know how it goes.

I'll look after dd2 for you

You are doing the right thing, as others have said. Tthe water would have been a deal breaker for me. Agree, temp nanny is the way to go. Good luck.

I think you're definitely doing the right thing PPH. You have to be able to trust your nanny with your kids, otherwise 'what is point'? It's horrible having to ask her to leave, but it'll definitely be better for everyone if you get someone new and she has the chance to work for a smaller family.

You've now got me worrying about the day that our lovely nanny leaves

PPH - Although it is upsetting to have to deal with it, I do feel you are making the right decision

When we did the same thing, the agency sent us the cvs of few nannies who were between jobs and we hired one of these on a temp basis. In fact our current nanny was the temp that covered the second week and never left Do you know whether there are any agencies around who do temp care of this nature?

Message withdrawn

Good luck. How nasty for you. I can say without doubt that I think you are doing the right thing, it was an impossible situation and I feel it was only going to get worse, I'm afraid.

I'm really relieved PPH. I think you've done exactly the right thing, though I know it's not going to be easy actually implementing it. Could you get people from Sitters or something for a few hours at a time to cover things like the play and hospital?