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Original poster

Help, my new nanny is a bit shouty, and I'm worried, and would like advice on how to handle it

313 replies

PrincessPeaHead · 31/05/2007 11:46

My lovely calm, quiet, loving nanny of 5 years left last week, and a new nanny started. She is NNEB, worked in a nursery (baby room) most recently, nannied for 2 children before that. She's now been with us for just over a week.

I'm a little worried about how she interacts with the children. She has been playing quite well with DD1 (9), and has been givena very hard time by DD2 (16 months) who screams at strangers generally and hasn't settled with her yet (screamed constantly yesteerday morning when I went to the supermarket apparently). DS1 (6) has been OK with her, DS2 (3) had his tonsils and adenoids out last Tues and was feeling rotten until this weekend.

She is a bit of a sargeant major - issues orders and won't brook any discussion at all, even when it would be (I think) completely reasonable to listen to what they are saying. eg she was asking them to go upstairs for a bath - we have two staircases to go up, and DS2 wanted to go up the other one to the one she was asking him to go up - and she was raising her voice and saying "DS2, I have asked you to go up to your bath and you need to go up these stairs NOW". I don't see why he couldn't have gone up the other ones if he wanted to. There are lots of other examples - I don't think I heard my last nanny raise her voice more than about 2ce (usually in situations where I would have strangled them hours previously!), whereas raising her voice appears to be this nannies MO.
My 9 year old has asked me why she shouts so much
My housekeeper has told me she is concerned.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
yogimum · 03/06/2007 18:18

tutter, I took one of my charges for some new dance shoes. She had been in the shop with her mum previously. The assistant thought I was her mother and asked me if she had been in with her granny. I was 40 at the time and my employer 45. Obviously I didn't tell her!

WelshBoris · 03/06/2007 18:14

They charge you to get into Wales. I leave and they charge me to get back in

Does my head in.

Glad you enjoyed, I can understand DHs feeling, the air is different once you cross the bridge

Tutter · 03/06/2007 18:12

hi wb, we just got back from the land of dh's fathers (iyswim)

he still insists on punching the air as we cross the severn bridge - as though it's been decades and he's been living thousands of miles away (in fact it'sbeen weeks, and we live 1.5 hours up the M4 )

ps five pounds bleedin 10

WelshBoris · 03/06/2007 18:08

There are hundreds of valleys in Wales.

No, I'm not really Welsh I just pretend to try and make friends with Moondog.

Tutter · 03/06/2007 18:06

hi pph, will be inetersted to see how you get on. our nanny/mothers help (starting on july 1st) is.... just 20 !

but i suppose it's different as she'll mostly be working alongside me

i do think youth may bring some advantages - flexibility, energy and a willingness to learn - that's the theory anyway

(am just concerned that i may be mistake for granny if she, the boys and i are out together)

Ripeberry · 03/06/2007 18:05

Welsh boris, if you really are welsh you would know exactly what estate i'm talking about....think of the valleys.
AB

WelshBoris · 03/06/2007 18:02

"Yes, i suppose i am jealous of your lives, with wonderfull careers, loads of money to splash around"

Better yourself then and get out of your "dump" estate

Don't come on a very supportive thread and criticise the OP. How PPH spends her money is her business.

soapbox · 03/06/2007 18:02

That was a nice retraction Ripeberry - well done

Ripeberry · 03/06/2007 17:59

Princesspeahead, let me appologise for my earlier outburst but i'm got PMT at the moment and my hayfever is driving me CRAZY today, so hence the stupid outburst.
Yes, i am thinking of becoming a childminder its just that in my area, loads of childminders have got empty places as people round here use their in-laws or friends who are not working to provide childcare and anyway most of them are unemployed anyway!
If i was seriously going to start childcaring i would have to move away from this dump of an estate.
Yes, i suppose i am jealous of your lives, with wonderfull careers, loads of money to splash around but most people in this country can't do that, even with a good education.
Depends on where your familly ties are.
I'm usually quite a nice person really

TootyFrooty · 03/06/2007 17:56

I'll be up against the wall with you come the revolution pph!

Original poster
PrincessPeaHead · 03/06/2007 17:25

ooh! I've come over all flushed!

OP posts:
Eleusis · 03/06/2007 17:21

I have to say peahead is actually a model employer. The only reason I can see for the negative comments directed at her is envy.

I think your doing a fab job oh wise one with small green head.

FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2007 17:17

no no it was just the money I liked the sound of

Original poster
PrincessPeaHead · 03/06/2007 17:13

especially MY children who are particularly lovely and interesting, obviously

and we have the full works of salinger scattered about the house so you'd fit right in ha ha

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2007 17:12

God I LOVED being a nanny and I would have loved to work for PPH and get a nice big salary like that

some people do enjoy looking after children you know, it isn't a shitty job

Original poster
PrincessPeaHead · 03/06/2007 17:10

(oh, and I am a woman. just in case that makes you feel better about me. Or not - your post is a bit confusing on that point)

OP posts:
Original poster
PrincessPeaHead · 03/06/2007 17:09

KC its live out I'm afraid . But car is thrown in

It is appalling, isn't it, Ripeberry, that I should actually be providing employment to three people at considerably above minimum wage. I dont know how I sleep at night.
Shoot me now, I say.

OP posts:
Enid · 03/06/2007 14:03

ripeberry aren't you thinking of becoming a childminder Confused?

yogimum · 03/06/2007 13:55

I think PPH nanny is live out but £350 is a good salary outside London. I earned £300 live in with all expenses, car etc but some nannies in London are on £500 plus live-out. I would love a nanny even though I don't work just so I can get some other things done. I have a cleaner one morning a week and we are not rich by any means. How people choose to live and spend their money is their business.

PinkTulips · 03/06/2007 13:47

ripeberry, i've posted here and i'm on the dole and rent allowance

just because i'm screwed money wiise doesn't mean i begrudge PPH her money and the choice to spend it how she wishes.

god knows if i had the money i'd be asking her advice on nanny's in a heartbeat.... if you have the money why not use it!

and 350 a week is good money for what sounds like an easy enough job tbh

Kewcumber · 03/06/2007 13:43

no-one has lived in a council house.

£350 per week net with housing and living expenses paid for is significantly more than I have to live on.

Saturn74 · 03/06/2007 13:42

What are "POOR b*tds"?

Kewcumber · 03/06/2007 13:41

whats your point Ripeberry? Because everyone can;t have a housekeeper, nanny big house etc that no-one should? No doubt, come the revolution, that PPH will be first against the wall but in the meantime, she sounds like a nice person who is significantly better off than the average joe in the street.

Why would you assume that no-one on this thread hasn't lived in a council house?

soapbox · 03/06/2007 13:33

Gosh Ripeberry - do you really think £350 a week net is a pittance?

I think how PPH chooses to spend her money is entirely up to her!

Ripeberry · 03/06/2007 13:30

Reading this thread is like something out of upstairs/downstairs.
How many of you have actually lived in council estates?
Do you know anyone who has nannies, cleaners, gardeners, housekeepers.
God grief, live in the real world, most people in this country could never have any of that we the WOMEN do all this work.
And if we don't some other POOR b*tds do the work for a pittance and shouldn't they be gratefull.
AB