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Original poster

Help, my new nanny is a bit shouty, and I'm worried, and would like advice on how to handle it

313 replies

PrincessPeaHead · 31/05/2007 11:46

My lovely calm, quiet, loving nanny of 5 years left last week, and a new nanny started. She is NNEB, worked in a nursery (baby room) most recently, nannied for 2 children before that. She's now been with us for just over a week.

I'm a little worried about how she interacts with the children. She has been playing quite well with DD1 (9), and has been givena very hard time by DD2 (16 months) who screams at strangers generally and hasn't settled with her yet (screamed constantly yesteerday morning when I went to the supermarket apparently). DS1 (6) has been OK with her, DS2 (3) had his tonsils and adenoids out last Tues and was feeling rotten until this weekend.

She is a bit of a sargeant major - issues orders and won't brook any discussion at all, even when it would be (I think) completely reasonable to listen to what they are saying. eg she was asking them to go upstairs for a bath - we have two staircases to go up, and DS2 wanted to go up the other one to the one she was asking him to go up - and she was raising her voice and saying "DS2, I have asked you to go up to your bath and you need to go up these stairs NOW". I don't see why he couldn't have gone up the other ones if he wanted to. There are lots of other examples - I don't think I heard my last nanny raise her voice more than about 2ce (usually in situations where I would have strangled them hours previously!), whereas raising her voice appears to be this nannies MO.
My 9 year old has asked me why she shouts so much
My housekeeper has told me she is concerned.

What do I do?

OP posts:
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fifilou · 04/06/2007 11:48

oops i hopped on this bus a bit too late!

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 11:47

Welcome, Tutter. Would you like a tea while we wait?

Tutter · 04/06/2007 11:42
fifilou · 04/06/2007 11:41

As a qualified proffesional nanny, i have only ever had to raise my voice on a few occasions, and these are usually when one child is hurting the other and ive had to 'shout' them to stop, or if a child has been about to hurt theselves, ive shouted as a distraction.

Children do not need to be shouted at, I get so cross when i see mums or nannies shouting at children for something so silly.

I think its so hard for all of youright now, youve just lost your long term nanny, and the children are probably really missing her.

The new nanny must feel awful too, its not easy stepping into someone elses shoes when you know they have been brilliant. However, shouting just isnt acceptable. If you dont like it, then you have to talk to her about it.

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 11:33

tap tap tap

PinkTulips · 04/06/2007 11:06

now that's no excuse for not posting to let us know!

lord knows i'm neglecting my lo's to sit here and await news!

Earlybird · 04/06/2007 11:05

My guess is that nanny is gone, PPH has called dh quickly to report outcome, and now is unable to post because she's currently doing the nanny's job!

hatrick · 04/06/2007 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CrispyNoodles · 04/06/2007 11:03

What if Nanny has spent all week thinking up ways to improve her skills, has enrolled on a 'communicating without shouting' course, and has arrived for work this morning accompanied by a fleet of children's entertainers, paid for out of her wages, as a way of saying sorry for last week?
PPH and children may be ensconced in the living room, being served hand made chocolates that the nanny rustled up before she left for work.
And the taxi driver's clock is ticking......

PinkTulips · 04/06/2007 11:02

ooooo, things mustn't be going well if she's not rid of her yet.

do you think the taxi is sitting outside with the meter running while the nanny is on her knees begging pph for a second chance?

hatrick · 04/06/2007 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 10:45

twilting? Who typed that? Twiddling

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 10:44

I think the nanny is crying. And peahead is twilting her thumbs waiting to get a word in egdewise.

PinkTulips · 04/06/2007 10:14

i have a mental image of the 2 of them sitting at the kitchen table.

PPH staring at the clock and drumming her fingers and flicking an occasional forced smile at the nanny.

The nanny is just sitting there staring at her and glaring.

tick.

tock.

tick.

tock.

tick.

tock.

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 10:04

She's a pea.

WelshBoris · 04/06/2007 10:01

Don't worry girls, she' made of strong stuff.

You can take the girl out of Tonypandy but you can't take the Tonypandy out of the girl.

Otter · 04/06/2007 09:59

ahhhh the joys of not having 'staff' !!!!!!
no firing!

PinkTulips · 04/06/2007 09:55

eeek. hadn't thought of that, she did get a bit physical with the ds didn't she!

should we be calling the police PPH?

Eleusis · 04/06/2007 09:53

I hope peahead isn't the one sobbing. Do you think the nanny ripped out her belly button ring?

Earlybird · 04/06/2007 09:53

I'm imagining you as a female Sir Alan Sugar...you're sitting at the kitchen table (instead of the board room table) with your 'apprentice' nanny, who sadly has failed the task. You tell her, 'I'm sorry, but you're fired' and then escort her out the door to the waiting taxi which whisks her back to her 'other' life......

Did that make you smile? I know these things are difficult....

PinkTulips · 04/06/2007 09:51

wonder is she waving her cheerfully goodbye already or dealing with a hysterical sobbing nanny glaring at the clock waiting for the cab to arrive?

hope it went well PPH, you've done the right thing

hatrick · 04/06/2007 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WelshBoris · 04/06/2007 09:44

Good luck PPH

Yes Califrau, she was the one with the belly button piercing, remember she went out with Owain from number 45 for a while? Til he went away to the rigs to work. She was heartbroken

CrispyNoodles · 04/06/2007 09:37

fingers crossed for you.

Earlybird · 04/06/2007 09:35

PPP - glad my advice was helpful. I imagine you're having the conversation at the moment, so hope it's going as well as could be expected. It's really the best thing for both you and her to recognise early on that the fit isn't right, but it is still upsetting to have those sorts of conversations - for both parties.

An hour from now you'll probably feel tremendously relieved.