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Original poster

Difficulty with au pair retention

68 replies

hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 16:05

We have had 6 au pairs so so far. They were all recruited on the basis of staying at least a year, and I made this very clear to start of with.

One has stayed a year (and only I think because I held back a portion of her pay to pay as a bonus at the end of the year). The others have ranged from one week (couldn't cope), and 4/5 months.

I don't understand why this is the case. We do everything possible to make our au pairs feel welcome: buy food they like, items/furniture for their room. Pay well (£110/week), and don't have unreasonable expectations with regards to hours. Weekends always free and they can come and go as they please.

My current au pair has just given notice after only being here a few weeks. It's gutting as I just don't know what else I'm going to do. She says it's due to issues at home, but I'm unsure if this is an excuse.

Any ideas what we are doing wrong? We have always hired Spanish au pairs (due to language), and they have been aged 20-30.

I'm not sure if we will go back to having another au pair now. It's not a cheap form of childcare (especially considering what we could rent our spare room out for in London), and it is very stressful with recruiting, and constant need to give direction. The difficulty is that we need early morning childcare when nurseries aren't open.

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LtGreggs · 14/04/2018 19:51

So do they just have a couple of hours work from 7am, then nothing the rest of the day? I suspect they might be bored??

We had Spanish au-pairs for a few years (four stayed a year each, one was an unhappy couple of months). I would observe that the British daily routine does seem to be quite different to what they are used to. Mine used to finish language school at 12 and have school pick up at 3:15 - but would say that the time between wasn't enough to do anything (gym, hobby, second job, some errand they wanted to run etc etc). I think it was something to do with the idea of 'having lunch' being a major part of that time of day, and they found it very culturally odd to have lunch on-the-go and then and early evening dinner.

AndromedaPerseus · 14/04/2018 19:50

I think a lot of young people would struggle with a 7am start so for your new AP I’d specifically ask if this would be a problem

rainbowduck · 14/04/2018 19:41

I would ask the au pairs for an honest response. That many au pairs seems more than bad luck.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 19:18

Tidying the children's rooms with them, doing their laundry, wiping the kitchen surfaces occasionally etc. Nothing too onerous.

No ironing or proper cleaning.

OP posts:
Kelsoooo · 14/04/2018 19:07

You say list of tasks, what does that involv?

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 18:23

We had the same difficulty when we had just one child aged 3, so I don't think it's just the number of children.

Looking at other countries is a good suggestion, I have just messaged a Swedish au pair.

Start at 7am.

I do give a written timetable, and list of tasks. I find that a lot of direction is needed though. Saying that with my first I gave her a complete free reign as I was a bit scared of her, she got away with a lot, and still didn't stay long.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 14/04/2018 18:19

I think I'm pretty good at retaining au pairs, all our have stayed longer than their initial contract - longest 20 months...You're unlikely to be that unlucky, it must be something.

Things I can think of

Ages of your children - my au pairs would struggle getting a 1,3 and 7 year old out of the house every morning. Also is it a very early start?

Pay seems okay - similar to ours, but maybe most of he other au pairs locally are getting tube passes or gym membership and are looking after less children.

Too much micromanagement - you obviously do need to do it with an au pair, but I find that writing down stuff on their weekly sheet goes down better than asking them verbally.

Maybe its time to try a different nationality? We find that we get on better with Northern Europeans and south Africans.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 17:37

Just drop off at grandparents in the morning, I pick up

OP posts:
RicStar · 14/04/2018 16:57

How much do they have to do with has the baby? You say little but I think most au pairs do prefer slightly older children.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 16:56

Molly quite possibly. Our first moved on to renting a room and working in London fairly quickly, but she soon moved back home as she realised she was working all hours just to pay rent.

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MollyDaydream · 14/04/2018 16:53

I see what you mean, but most nannies (if qualified) just have childcare qualifications rather than Norland or similar.

heateallthebuns · 14/04/2018 16:49

Well yes, but as in, they didn't train to specifically become nannies. They were more starting out with early years to do teaching.

MollyDaydream · 14/04/2018 16:48

Surely a childcare qualification is qualified for a nanny?

heateallthebuns · 14/04/2018 16:46

£130

Well they aren't qualified nannies, they just have some sort of childcare, usually early years post school course but not a degree equivalent.

I should note that only our first one was from Spain, our others have been from English speaking countries looking to travel for a bit before deciding what they want to do / settling down / going back to college.

MollyDaydream · 14/04/2018 16:45

Have you been a stop gap while they wait for a proper job, rather than specifically wanting to come to learn English or as a cultural exchange/gap year?

StereophonicallyChallenged · 14/04/2018 16:43

An old friend left an au pair job years ago because of one of the parents, she probably stayed longer than she would have because she adored the dc. So (not to op specifically she sounds lovely ) but it isn’t always the children’s behaviour.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 16:42

Molly au pairs between 20-30 when starting. Current one 21.

They have had a variety of jobs before starting, quite a few unemployed as I'd common in Spain.

Current one worked with children and wants to be a nursery teacher.

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MollyDaydream · 14/04/2018 16:41

I would have suggested the opposite about childcare qualifications, as would have thought qualified candidates would move onto proper nanny jobs ASAP.

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 16:40

Ours are always included too. Always invited to have dinner with us (but sometimes decline as we eat early by Spanish standards, that fine, we just save them food). We are in central London which is supposedly a desirable location for au pairs.

Hea how much do you pay your au pairs? We deliberately pay just below the ni threshold to avoid needing to do payroll.

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heateallthebuns · 14/04/2018 16:39

I have always made sure they have a childcare qualification, so I know they genuinely like children.

heateallthebuns · 14/04/2018 16:37

I'm not sure, we've had our current Au pair 2 1/2 years, 2 years before that, 8 months when starting with 6 and then one who stayed 6 months. We do pay more than you in a smaller city. We include them in all our activities and they actually are like part of the family.

MollyDaydream · 14/04/2018 16:36

How old are your Au pairs and what are they doing before/after Au pairing?

Original poster
hibbledibble · 14/04/2018 16:34

Hundred, I just have, see above.

Ages are 1,3 and 7. Minimal time spent with youngest.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 14/04/2018 16:31

You haven't answered the questions re your children - i.e. how many, ages, behaviour. Is there a reason you've avoided answering this? Surely your children themselves are a key factor in whether an au pair stays or leaves.

halfwitpicker · 14/04/2018 16:30

Re pink's question : if the kids are spoilt, entitled etc that might be why you can't keep an au pair.

Not saying yours are, obv

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