Travelling with a Nanny

You will declare your babysitting - why is that?

Top tip N anny Calire, never ever take a job with a family who don't have a cleaner!

Well, given how successful you were at getting interviews first time around, you could just take your time while working to look for another job and move when you find one you think is really good... and this time you'll be in a much better negotiating position.

A tip: a nanny who is very well informed and clear on her role, responsibilities and the remuneration she expects will come across as more professional and should be able to command far better working conditions. Remember that you are NOT a servant, but a professional.

I would sorry more about how they treat you than the tax side - at least you're paying tax. If later they come to your employers and say you're employed not self employed they would probably recover the tax from the employer not you and employers' national insurance from them.

On your summary below it says 5 days a week which is good but then it says starting late on Sundays. Don't you think you need 2 days w week off - not necessarily the weekends but 2 days of some kind.

Absolutely. It'll be good in the telling.

I'm a little surprised that someone like you who is not just a young girl straight from home didn't manage to get a better employer first time round... maybe you should start looking for another job? With an English family.

They're cheapskates. That's my view.

One other thought. I've met many nannies and they've all had first jobs like this. Live in, full on, loads of housework. Your second, third and so on jobs will be very different.

NKF - yes, childcare as a job is held in higher esteem in the UK than in most places, probably because of the long tradition of trained nannies.

Lots of cultures think childcare = being a maid.

Anna - I think American families can be like that too. When I was in New York recently, I heard many nannies described as "humble" as if it was a positive thing.

NannyClaire - the parents are French, right?

I live in Paris and, in my quite vast experience of the issue, French parents who employ a "nounou" expect her to be a lot more versatile and biddable (servile) than English parents do with a nanny, who is a trained professional. So probably quite a lot of issues stem from a cultural gap.

Why don't you write down your English professional expectations of your job, tell your employers that you know that things are very different in France, and have an open discussion about different cultural expectations? Try to depersonalise the discussion as much as possible in the first instance, and in the second try to reach an agreement that suits both parties.

We only for a few months (when she was covering for our live out nanny's first maternity leave stint) had a live in and she didn't eat with us but that was as much because we weren't eating together ourselves at that point as anything. Depends on your relationship. Just because you work for someone doesn't mean you want to eat with them on both sides.

10pm ,.... well a lot of working parents work those hours but I think its hdoule be defined like when my daughters work in ski resorts - you might be working to 10 doing an evening meal but you have 2 - 4 off to ski or rest etc. What you don't want to be is on 24 hour call and you need clear days each week when you're off too,.

Is not eating with the adults normal for nannies?

Finishing at 10pm at night! Is this serious?

Good list. You need to have it agreed by email or in writing what you will do and when. If they are asking you to be away in their second home and it's longer than they explained when you started it might be fair for them to pay your flights home for a few weekends in that period to see your partner or his flights out to see you. If it was clear when you started that might be different.

We never travelled with our nanny, just agreed in advance what weeks she'd have as holiday and fixed ours around that.

Obviously you aren't self employed. Just be careful about that. Just this week I saw someone - a company - which had someone clearly employed classed as self employed, tax office investigated and now they're (the employer) taking £18k off her pay over the next however many years for the tax to recoup it as the contract says the employee has to pay that. They said well she would have paid the self employed tax anyway and tax people can set that off but this lady apparently didn't pay a penny of tax.

I was on the other thread ... I didn't realise you had your own thread too.

Some thoughts about your situation.

Tax/pay: I am not sure what worlds the family you work for move in, but in my experience what is "usual" for people like me (City/lawyer/business people, in London, both parents working, "sole charge" nanny) is to register as an employer, sign up truthfully with a payroll agency, and pay, on the nail (with a bit of agony, as it is so much), the tax & NI that the payroll agencies say we must pay.

£7/hr gross is low, unless you are live-in, which might be OK (though it would make it even more ridiculous to say you have to be "self-employed") - or perhaps if your role is more of a "mother's help" (ie shared charge) than sole-charge nanny. What is your role?

Travelling: there's a bit of chalking up to experience here (of course you know that!). Was it discussed at interview? Were you given a chance to negotiate terms, or even say that you were OK with it in principle but it would depend on the detail? They may be working on the understanding that you have already signed up to this as part of your job and the goalposts are already set (and not negotiable).

I'm going to have a think about what I would think reasonable if we were going, with a nanny, to a second home abroad for 6 weeks, & (to ease your eyes) post my thoughts on that separately.

That's not 10 hours per day - my nanny does 8-7 and I expect her to take time out to relax during the day (eg when dd is happy playing by herself/sleeping)and eating with dd counts as work as far as I'm concerned (certainly tires me out when I'm not working!). 10 hours should be 10 hours from when you start not 10 hours not counting any minute you are not working hard/going to the loo, that's slavery!