Au pairs and food

Try to shop in Aldi. That will keep costs down.

You can't afford live in help

This.

Like everyone else already said, feeding them is part of the deal. Also, a kg of chicken thighs in aldi is £1.70, sure you can afford that?

I wish all the people who are saying "you can't afford an au pair" would just bugger off. Your feedback is incredibly unhelpful to the au pair.

Echobelly, young men eat a lot. How much is his food bill costing you per week? You sound like you're already taking the right approach of asking him to write a shopping list each week.

Is he sticking to items on his list or is he also eating what is supposed to be your dinner? If it's the latter then that's easier to bring up with him.

I think your dp needs to be more disciplined first of all and allow you to meal plan. Then you can have a plan au pair can see.

I agree that they don't need limitless protein even though they tend to think it's ok to require an all meant diet. But there need to be limitless "filler" foods such as pasta l, rice etc. and veg such as carrots which are so cheap.

It might help to buy cheaper cuts of meat such as thighs rather than breast if you.arent doing that.

We had a male au pair for a while and he was lovely. He was a gym bunny amd accepted without being told that he needed to buy the extra high protein food he wanted to support that choice. Some of the women have been equally protein fixated though!

My shopping bills have halved since no longer having an au pair though.

I'd rather have an au-pair eating healthy portions of chicken or other meat or fish and being a good example for the kids, than an au-pair snacking all day and living off bread/crisps and pastas.

You really need to provide adequate food for your au-pair. Teenage boys do eat a lot but it does not sound like he is demanding outrageous foods like smoked salmon and fillet steak. It is not the au-pairs fault that you have had a change of circumstance and that your DH refuses to meal plan because of his own changeable moods about what he wants to eat.

I think that frozen food can be your friend here as you can get large freezer packs of chicken or fish at Lidl, Aldi or supermarket own brand.

Our au pairs have a separate kitchen and generally cook for themselves, although they always have a meal a week with us (I insist), usually roast on a Sunday. I top up a Sainsbury's gift card for them and suggest about £35/week for food, although they usually use ask me to top it up when it runs out, I usually add around £150/time.

I think we've had 6 au pairs now and their food usage has varied. Our first seemed to eat nothing and the £150 top up seemed to last the whole of her 3 month stay. Current one has gone through £150 a month (which is probably the most). She eats a lot of meat.

TBH unless they are eating 2 avocados every day, smoked salmon and caviar, I would just provide the food.

Well what do you expect to happen? He did warn you he was not a vegetarian.
Also can’t see how you can afford an Au Pair but can’t afford to feed him some frozen fish?

If he’s anything like the young men that I work with then if he’s wanting to eat that much chicken it’s because he’s going to be into the fitness lifestyle so he won’t be interested in the suggestions of swapping with cheesy potatoes and pasta etc.

He made it clear when you hired him that he needs a certain diet included for his services. You accepted this so you need to do it.

I wouldn't limit his food. We gave ours £5 a day to buy their own lunch then they had evening meals with us. It's part of the deal you feed them properly.

I think it's fair to say you eat meat 3-4 times per week, or whatever, as long as he gets big enough portions and enough to eat every night. Your DH needs to understand that feeding him enough is part of the deal.

YABU
We had two male au pairs with hearty appetites and just upped quantities for them - I always let all my au pairs add food into the home deliveries and gave them cash to top up during the week.
The deal is board and lodging and they need to be fed and comfortable.

If it's a problem and he doesn't want to eat what you guys do just give him his own food money and his own cupboard/fridge shelf as in a house share??

I really don't think Anybody should eat large amounts of meat everyday - let alone Twice a day! - in any case!

I like the meal plan idea. He is meant to be treated as part of the family .have a chat to find out what his likes and dislikes are and then outline the week. He needs 3 meals and snacks a day and is highly likely to eat more than mature adults.

The average adolescent male (so teenage to 25) eats, in general, quite a bit more than the average adolescent female. My parents invested in a large freezer when my 2 brothers became teenagers to accommodate their appetites.

Part of the agreement with au pairs is that their employers will cover their room and board within reason and YWBU to limit or restrict the food he was able to eat without sitting down with him and clarifying what the expectations are on both sides. Definitely meal plan and keep him in the loop so he knows what you have in mind for meals for the week. I would also purchase specific snacks for him (freezer is your friend) which he can have if still hungry and thus not impacting your plan for the family.

Costco is fantastic for bulk buying larger quantity of foods - my parents joined when my brothers became teenagers.

But why doesn't he eat the same food as the rest of the family?

Because he’s an adult and is allowed to choose what he eats?

Your dh sounds a bigger problem than the AP tbh - not letting you meal plan and moaning about the food the AP wants to eat. I'd let him cater for himself too, meal plan for the children and ask the AP what he wants to eat. I always ask my new au pairs to tell me what they like to eat and they give me a list. Then I keep a running list on the side of the fridge and I remind the au pairs to write what they want on the list.

My last au pair had chicken salad or stir fry for lunch most days - I bought that for her, fresh coffee etc. Lots of salad,. She was also coeliac so I catered for that too. I've had au pairs that like lots of cheese, cereal, white bread. I generally cater for them - the only thing I don't do (because I don't do it for my children) is buy loads of biscuits, chocolates etc - they can get that themselves!

I am with pigeondujour. If you are scrimping with food then you can”t really afford an extra young adult in the house. Poor sod.

But why doesn't he eat the same food as the rest of the family?

Your DH sounds like a twat. Who gets angsty because another adult has a bigger appetite? He’s not eating the truffles & caviar, he’s eating chicken, fish & other normal food. Tell your DH to stop being so bloody ridiculous.

I’m vegetarian, I’d hate to have meat in my kitchen, but if I got an au pair who ate meat I’d consider a chicken breast or fillet of fish for both lunch & dinner quite reasonable, plus whatever else they eat for breakfast, eggs, porridge, whatever. Youngsters tend to have healthy appetites.

A whole chicken is £2.25 from Aldi. Surely you can afford this and you have an au pair who is looking after your children- a difficult job I think. Stop complaining about food and get smart with where you shop

Actually, I can't believe your husband feels 'aggrieved' that his live in employee's appetite doesn't decrease in line with his employer's income

How much is lots? More than one chicken thigh or breast per meal? More than one piece of fish?

When you all sit down for dinner does he have a bigger portion of food than you and dh?