How do those of you without family support cope financially?

Don’t forget that by working your wife and her school are paying into her pension.

Exactly George.
I went through a few brutal years when the children were young. Now thanks to promotions and childcare costs going down I can see how worthwhile it was to stay at work. Plus even those years I was making only a couple of hundred a month after childcare I was still paying pension contributikns (and getting employers contributions) and was chipping away at my student loan.

It's a few years where costs are high and wages eaten up by childcare. After that, those who stick it out start to see the benefit of maintaining both careers.

I assume you have looked into child tax credit and working tax credit and don't qualify? And yes to childcare vouchers and to shopping around.

I had two years where pretty much all my earnings went on childcare (if you did the sums that way - it wasn't just my childcare). But that is a long time ago and I still have my professional career.

Some people go for a bigger age gap so that the elder child is in school before the mum finishes mat leave with the younger. We had two in nursery which was horribly expensive but only short term.

www.gov.uk/childcare-calculator

You need to buy them through a scheme which your payroll will sort out. Google the government calculator though to compare the vouchers with the new tax free scheme because I was better off using the second. The deadline to sign up to the old scheme is very soon

Wanting to stay home is all well and good if you can afford it. If you can't then you need to get your arse back to work. It's that simple. Millions of parents do it every single day.

As a teacher, you (and she) must both earn more than your Nursery fees though.

You also need to factor in your long term prospects / careers.

Not sure how people think they are going to fit in home tutoring etc as well as teaching and having a new baby ??

Hi op, I think these ideas are excellent.

What I have seen on MN since I joined 4 years ago is the need for 11 plus tutors.

Are you by chance in a grammar school area?
If so I would be thinking of one of you becoming a tutor and I know that sounds naive of me, why not?!

They are in such high demand it's ridiculous. Some parents keep the names
of their tutors a secret from friends and other parents, you only have to read the education boards here.

Lastly, please don't feel guilty about not earning enough, you are clearly doing your best good luck to you and dw.

If she's a teacher she will be easily earning more than the nursery fees for one child (the sums get a lot tighter once you have two in childcare though).

Childcare vouchers help quite a bit, as so the free hours when they kick in. And of course once the child reaches school age most of your problems will disappear as unlike most employees you don't have to work during school holidays so all you'll need is a bit of breakfast club/ after school club.

As long as you can cope financially during the baby/pre-school years, it's worth it imho to keep up your skills / recent work experience so it's not hard to pick up your career again once your kids are at school. But obviously this is a personal decision.

Unfortunately we are both teachers so we can't work extra shifts. Also I am the higher earner but both good suggestions!

I'd suggest one or both of you do home tutoring, this could fit in around the children if one tutors the other can look after your children.
Round here the going rate is at least £20-40 per hour depending on the level of teaching, one or two evenings/Sat mornings would bring in a decent extra income.

I think your wife doing tuition in the evenings or on Saturday would make sense. It adds up quite quickly. Or she could try a part-time nanny job where she's allowed to bring your DD along. If she did that for 2-3 days a week, then she'd earn quite a lot on top of her teaching salary and would have your daughter with her.

We worked around each other. Totally agree with all those saying just because you’re currently teaching doesn’t mean that’s all you can do. What about one of you being a childminder even from home then you still get paid for being home with kids. Media jobs are also often early mornings/evenings and weekends but rarely get mentioned as out of hours jobs. I also have a weekend and holiday job around my mon-fri at the moment as dh not working due to illness yet not qualifying for benefits. You do what you do to get by. We’ve done all sorts over the years there’s no one size fits all answer. Variety is the spice of life. My parents also worked around each other. Bank call centres are open around the clock so there’s really a variety of interesting and reasonably paid work. Contact agencies if you’re short of ideas. What about fostering if you have a spare room or rooms?

Both teachers here and DH was an NQT when we had DD and so on pretty low salary. Had DS 18 months later. Did have some help but because my 0.6 hours were split over the whole week had to use grandparents as well as childminder - worked every day at different times as well as had 2 weeks timetable. Had joint income of about £32k for about 5 years & it was REALLY hard! Running 2 cars and paying lots in petrol to get to schools a bit of a distance away.

• we found the childminder cheaper than other people were paying for nursery.
• childcare vouchers
• also are you paying term time only? We used to pay half in the school hols and never used the childminder as we were both off work.
• sold stuff on Ebay
• asked for useful things as Christmas/bday gifts like coats/boots/PJs so we didn't have to find the money for those
• had things like annual passes as Christmas gifts so we could have free days out for the rest of the year e.g. National Trust/zoo science museum
• never had any treats like takeaways/cafe visits (which some people consider just the norm)
• free days out like city farms, seaside, parks, visiting friends
• not going out in the evenings
• racked up huge Visa bill which then took 3 years to pay off!

It really infuriates me that parents of young children assume they are entitled to free childcare from their parents because they are retired. If they are retired, then presumably they have already spent a goodly amount of years involved in childcare and work outside the home....time then, for them to do what they want, when they want to do it, once they have retired, and not be expected to be permanently on standby to enable the lifestyle choices of their adut children.

We don't have family nearby, so have to pay for childcare. DH works full time but does compressed hours, so has one day off a fortnight, and I reduced my hours to four days a week. Obviously this type of flexible working may not be possible when you're a teaching (we are deliberately both in jobs with lower than average pay but are family-friendly and flexible).

We use childcare vouchers so save a small amount of money there. Childcare costs about half of my pay at the moment. Otherwise we live a frugal life (no car, no holidays, no expensive hobbies) and are counting down the paydays until DD is eligible for the 30 funded hours. We do have a safety net in that my mum was able to lend us money for replacing our boiler when it broke last year, but it has been stressful.

We have to contact the payroll dept at the local education dept to set up childcare vouchers.

As a teacher, you already have 13 weeks a year off with your DC, and part time increases the time you have with them. It's a lot more time than most employees would get, while still earning as much.

I used to do 3 and a half days as it gave me half of the week in work and half of the week at home as well as the holidays. If you financially need the extra day, it could well be worth giving it a try.

It’s a couple of years of grim expense and then 30 free hours childcare will kick in. So grit your teeth and find ways to make it work.

Different ways people I know make it work- compressed hours/ alternate shifts/ working from home in the evenings (i do about half my hours this way

You say you are both teachers- solutions teacher friends have found: tutoring, exam marking, supply teaching (to top up, relatives helping as it is just ad hoc days so less of a commitment), evening teaching (night classes at a college), retraining as child minders.

It’s possible to make it work till 30’free hours kick in, you just have to get a bit creative in finding solutions.

As a teacher surely your wife earns more per day than Nursery costs?
I pay for three days a week Nursery which costs £600/month. Surely a 3/5 teacher salary takes home much more than that?

No help here. Like pp, only on MN do most people have family. In RL few people I know do. After full maternity, I returned part time and put Ds1 in nursery. Then just as Ds1 finished nursery and started school I had Ds2. Hadn't planned on waiting so long, but had miscarriage anyway. So only ever had one nursery fees.
Continued to work part time and still do.
Worked out financially ok.

We just had to suck it up i’m afraid. I had two children very close together so was paying childcare for two when I went back to work part time.
As said it is cheaper to pay a child minder than a nursery (costs can vary from area to area). Or does your wife not know another mum or part time teacher who works opposite days and alternate looking after each other’s babies for one day a week if they repaid the favour? Not an iAds all solution but they maybe company for each other and it would save money.
Also does your employer not offer a childcare voucher scheme as most employers do this nowadays and this also helps save some money?
Like you my parents had offered to help out but then she changed her mind. We were paying more in childcare than I earned initially but after a few increments in the pay scale, pay rises and then suddenly free childcare places it was worth it longer term to keep a foot on the ladder.
I only worked part time but it really helped my sanity going back to work I missed my babies like mad and felt guilty but it was lovely to have adult company, drink a hot coffee in peace before it went stone cold, to be able to go to the loo on my own, to walk about standing up straight (rather than carrying one and bending down to hold his hand).
It does get easier.

No family support at all not even a night a year babysitting. Rather than put DD1 in nursery 13 hours a day and me earn peanuts we moved to the other end of the country and I gave up my career.

@Musodad14 ask your employer, they will know in your HR dept what scheme you use? I'm self employed and get the tax free childcare for 20% reduction but some schemes are more

Your school HR ahould be able to help with childcare vouchers. Basically you buy the voucher through payroll and they come off your wages before tax.

I think that there are a few different voucher schemes, you need to ask your work which they use, my dps work use one called Kiddivoucher. You set up and account and an amount can be deducted from your salary and you transfer it to your childcare provider? The amount you can get is capped depending on how much you earn.

It is difficult OP but you and your wife sound like you have a steady income and a lot more time than other MN members, I think you may need to look at childcare vouchers you would defo get them, really look at your out going's- no luxuries run one car buy second hand etc cheaper groceries and accept having a young family is tough. If all else fails maybe look at an extra income but I reckon most people could live off 1 decent wage with a bit of imagination. Straight away only having 1 car helps.