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Original poster

P*ssed off with au pair - am I overreacting?

158 replies

Mumpbump · 02/05/2007 10:19

Our au pair didn't come home last night and sent us a text at 23:30 saying she had missed the last train home from London - 45 minutes before the last train left! She was watching the football which finished at 22:30 so there is no real reason for her not to have made it home.

I'm irritated because I feel that we have been very accommodating and helpful to her generally and she has lied to us which is completely "disrespectful". It is not the second or third time she has lied to us, all about silly things. She is meant to be leaving at the end of the month so there is an issue about whether this is a sign of things to come, but do you think it would be unfair to ask her to go sooner in the circumstances? Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

She looks after our ds for the whole day on Mondays, but we have someone else lined up to take over anyway. I feel leaving ds in the care of someone who is not honest is questionable, but again wonder if I'm being overprotective...

Any comments welcome! Thanks...

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Eleusis · 02/05/2007 11:04

I would however have a chat with her and give her the verbal warning. Have you discussed these lying episodes with her? Does she know you know she's lying?

Eleusis · 02/05/2007 11:02

Surely you have to follow a disciplinary procedure, such as:

1- verbal warning
2- written warning (if it happens again)
3- dismissal (but probably still have to give some notice unless it's gross misconduct)

It is no fun to let someone go on the spot. No fun for her and no fun for you. Do you really want to go down this road?

NAB3 · 02/05/2007 10:57

You are paying her for a job she isn't doing. She lies and you can't rely on her. She needs to go now. When you have your lovely new reliable nanny with you you will wonder why you kept the au pair so long. I have been an au pair, a mother's help and a nanny and I wouldn't have dared not come home or been late.

Eleusis · 02/05/2007 10:56

Seeing how she showed up 30 minutes early, I think you'll have a hard time saying she has failed to perform her duties.

Was she hungover,inappropriately dresed, or otherwise unfit for work?

soak · 02/05/2007 10:51

get new one in prompt!

wouldnt it class as gross misconduct and immediate dismissal paid up to date of dismissal as she has lied (quite obviously)and stayed out all night when she knows you wouldn't like it?!

she is taking the mick as she is thinking 'well i'm leaving soon anyway so what can they do about it'

Original poster
Mumpbump · 02/05/2007 10:44

Yes she was and the irony was that she made it back from London for 07:00 whereas when she is at home, she never appears until 07:30! But whenever she has asked us about staying out overnight before, we have always said that we would rather take ds to nursery ourselves, rather than be left wondering whether she will make it back in time on public transport.

I suppose we are quite keen to lose her because she is doing nowhere near the hours we are paying her for and the nanny we have lined up to look after ds on Mondays can start immediately if we want her to...

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Eleusis · 02/05/2007 10:34

I'd probably let it go and just ride it out since she's leaving anyway. If you ask her to go sooner, then you might find you have to put up with an even more dishonest person.

Did her not coming home effect her work? For example, was she supposed to be working this morning?

Original poster
Mumpbump · 02/05/2007 10:20

Sorry - "It IS the second or third time she has lied to us, all about silly things."

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