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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How would I know if my 4 month old is happy at the CMs????

43 replies

Runninglate · 30/04/2007 09:09

I know this sounds completely daft but my DD goes to a CM for 3 mornings a week and I have absolutely no idea if she's happy there or not. The CM is rarely dressed and 'together' when I drop her off and I always wonder if I've just woken her up. I guess my worst fear is that my DD is mainly ignored while she's there. She's usually asleep when I collect her and all her milk is gone, which I take to be a good sign. She doesn't cry when I drop her off.....do I assume all is good??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nappyaddict · 06/05/2007 11:38

thanks

Original poster

Runninglate · 05/05/2007 21:13

Mine is ground floor with no garden but very close local park. It wouldn't bother me if it was a 2nd floor flat if that's any help??

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 05/05/2007 21:04

asking for a friend. but it is a 2nd floor flat.

running late what floor flat is your cms?

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 20:41

a very small front garden. I can't really use it though as it's quite public.

Are you in a flat? If so, it shouldn't make a difference to you childminding as long as you go out each day.

nappyaddict · 05/05/2007 20:37

do you have a garden?

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 20:33

ground

nappyaddict · 05/05/2007 20:26

quiet mouse what floor is your flat on if you don't mind my asking?

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 20:09

ok, I understand.

You know where I am if you change your mind

Original poster

Runninglate · 05/05/2007 20:08

Yes we were! Although I seem to be everso happy to ask a million people on MN about the siutuation, it somehow seems sneaky to ask you to ask around on my behalf!! I couldn't possibly!!

OP posts:

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 19:59

were we in email contact a while ago? If so, if you want to cat me the details, I can have an ask around for you or see if I know them, if it helps??

Original poster

Runninglate · 05/05/2007 19:57

Well that's it - they say they go to parks, to the local farm etc etc etc but unless I hover outside, I'll never know for sure. They do have 2 double buggies (!). Worse case scenario is that they don't leave the flat - as she's only there for 3 mornings a week, this is not the end of the world as I am out alot with her.

On a positive note, I was there at snack time and the mum brought a bowl of chopped up fruit 'n' stuff and the kids came and automatically sat down around her and then continued sitting until they'd had their snack.

OP posts:

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 19:47

I'm not sure about it being spotless either tbh. With 5 children being cared for in a flat, should it be spotless?

I childmind from my flat (2 bedroom) and have two children of my own plus my minded baby and my place is not spotless as I am far too busy caring for the children.

Do they go out at all?

Original poster

Runninglate · 05/05/2007 19:39

You're right - this is all really helpful advice. I'll do some spot checks over the next couple of minding days and have a chat with them next week too. On the face of it the set up is quite good - the 3rd bedroom (it's a flat) has been converted in to a playroom, with the walls painted with pictures of animals etc etc - a brightly coloured room - quite funky. When I went for my initial look around - the older kids were really keen to show it off to me and had that proud look that kids have when showing you their bedrooms (not that this was their bedroom!). The place is also spotless and I did a spot visit 'to collect references' before agreeing to send DD there and the place was still spotless with the windows cracked to let fresh air in. I desperately want it to work!!

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nappyaddict · 05/05/2007 18:05

oh i assumed it was the mum who looked after your dd and the daughter was having a pamper day cos it was her day off. in that that is disgraceful that she was having a pamper day.

fizzbuzz · 05/05/2007 17:42

I think not being dressed at 2.00pm is awful. Also if I have got this right she was having a pamper day, whilst looking after dd. How?

I'm couldn't have a pamper day whilst I was at work, it just couldn't happen God Forbid (I'm a teacher btw, so you can imagine...,)so why could she?

Also I had a childminder once, who I used to have to knock up in the mornings (she always overslept) and I wasn't very happy. I was even less happy when I found out ds who should have been sleeping in his cot was in fact sleeping in a buggy.

Trust your instincts. It sounds very haphazard and unproffesional to me

TwoToTango · 05/05/2007 16:55

Perhaps you could collect or drop her off at a totally different time. My DS is a lot older but when I have book him into any childcare/playscheme I have always turned up at different times just for my own peace of mind. I've never had any reason to think he wasn't happy though - just me being cautious. I think you should go with your gut instinct.

quietmouse · 05/05/2007 16:33

this is setting alarm bells ringing for me tbh.

The not being dressed is very unprofessional. The not being dressed at 2pm is disgraceful!

do they go out?? and looking after that many children it sounds a bit manic to me, as though they are all just running wild. Do they have a big house?

I don't like the sound of their set up and I think you could be right about her being left in her buggy infront of the TV.

Sorry - but I think you should get rid.

Original poster

Runninglate · 05/05/2007 11:41

Maximummy - DD is only there for 3 mornings a week (8-1) and rather than feeling guilty about leaving her, I actually think it will do her good to spend time with others etc etc - good for her confidence before she realises that she doesn't have any if you see what I mean?!

Oddly I don't mind the not being dressed thing - I am concerned that they're just not interacting enough with her and leaving her in her buggy / in a corner a lot of the time. The trouble is that I just won't know one way or the other. Both CMs are on the contract, though its the daughter who is her official CM and the mum (50s) is always dressed and ready and seems to be the actual one looking after my DD most of the time.

Do you think it would cause offence to ask them to take photos - I do like that idea!

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Tan1959 · 05/05/2007 02:39

I haven't read all through replies..

It's not daft wondering if your dd is happy at the childminders! perfectly normal.

IMO not being ready in the morning is an absolute 'no no' ! As long as you are dropping your DD off at the contracted time, there is no excuse not to be ready - if she were working in an office, would she be there in the same state? I think not..

Does your childminder have a diary system for her minded children? and does she take photos of the children doing activities or playing?

I am a childminder and have a four month old mindee, mum and dad always say their baby has been so much happier since coming to me (as opposed to nursery) - little mindee is always smiling and gurgling when parents arrive and seems content.

maximummummy · 05/05/2007 00:34

running late - if you have niggling doubts perhaps you should trust your gut feelings and start looking for alternative care for your dd
i'm a childminder myself and i would never dream of not being dressed when mindees arrive it's very unprofessional imo
you said you are a control freak perhaps you are in fact feeling guilty about leaving your 4 month old to return to work unfortunately if you need to work SOMEONE ELSE will have to care for your dd , i know its hard to let go and equally hard to believe that someonelse can do as good a job as you but there are tons of wonderful c/minders out there you cant always get it right first time

AskABusyPerson · 05/05/2007 00:09

Sorry, not necessarily out of the way but perhaps not so obvious if she's a cm too?? I guess some treat their profession more casually than me! No offence meant!

nappyaddict · 04/05/2007 23:58

i wouldn't expect the other one to be out of the way on her day off if she lives there. ds was going to go to a cm a few months ago. she had 2 daughters of 19 and 21. they weren't cm's but they were often there in the daytime. i wouldn't expect them not to be there!

AskABusyPerson · 04/05/2007 23:36

I've just started looking after a 4 month old, and I have to admit I had a momentary 'gosh what am I going to do with him' moment before I thought back to my own dd being 4 months (though through a haze of breastfeeding-induced tiredness) and now sing, read/look at books, chat, take him on walks, go to visit shops/library/friends/other childminder friends etc. Personally I rarely have tv on and would not at all for such a young one. Admittedly 4 months old babies can't usually do much themselves (my mindee is just learning to roll over from back to front!) but they love the interaction with others and seeing different places...my 4.5 year old dd also sings and chats to him and he loves it!
As shoshable said, it's interaction all day. Even though he's only with me for 5 weeks (family are waiting to move house) I'm doing daily diary of play/sleep/milk/outings and things he seemed to like playing with (rattly tigger toy fave so far!) and always chat to collecting parent about what he's been doing and where we've been so they are reassured that he's been, well, cared for.

I don't know any mum-daughter cm's myself but would expect them both to be professional at all times, if one's having a day off then she should be out of the way!!

Maybe your dd was a bit grizzly cos she was bored? You are the mummy, go with your gut feeling as it must be awful to worry about her?

Where are you based?!

Original poster

Runninglate · 04/05/2007 22:06

Sorry for tardy reply . You all sound great and have now got the fear up me! Shoshable, I can't believe you take them swimming. How fantastic is that?!?! This will get you going - I arrived today to collect my DD at 2pm and the daughter CM (of the mum and daughter pair) was still in her PJs and announced that she was having a pamper day today - that she'd just had her toes done and her hairdresser had just arrived to cut her hair. I'm under the impression that it's the mum who looks after my DD while the daughter fannies about. Again they said that DD didn't seem herself and had been very grizzly and they thought it was her teething but she was sparky all afternoon and grinning away without a care in the world. It's hard to know what to talk about as they will just say what they want me to hear. A friend and my DH has met them and both felt comfortable with them and all the other kids genuinely seem happy. I'm hoping it's just me being twitchy.

OP posts:

Shoshable · 02/05/2007 19:32

I'm a CM and I would not under any circumstances put a baby to sleep in a buggy, different if they were out and she had fallen asleep, but not put down in one, in fact my last inspector asked if I did as it is not good for them.

And the fact that she was not dressed and you had to leave the baby in buggy on drop off is awful, babies are handed actually to me in this house and yes I start at 7.00 and yes I am always dressed.

We do lots with babies, today we went swimming taking a 4 year old (tomorrow as we have been reminded all day ) and a 14 month old who doesn't walk, but is so confidant in the water cos we have been going every week since she was tiny, four year old can swim she has been going every week since she came to me at 13 months,

Yes 4 month old is young, but I use door bouncers, a leap frog playstation, and a baby ring for that age group.

At the moment have only got the two little ones and 2 after schools as two left this week, but two new ones are starting in July, one only 7 months, interaction goes on all day with them.

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