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Original poster

Husband:( divorce ??

27 replies

Xmaxsmumx · 18/12/2017 19:18

Having troubles in my marriage basically my husbands a tit and doesn't appreciate anything. He also thinks if I see my mum for an hour I then have to equal that out and see his mum for an hour 🙄
Anyway my question is, this may only be the case while our son is so young (6 months) and he's trying to get used to everything, accept I'm with our baby more than him so unfortunately I probably do know our soon better etc etc .. I don't want to be a broken family.
Please somebody give me tips on basically pretending to be happy for our baby? Or do
You think if I went to a marriage counsellor they'd help me vent and id be better?? Because my husband also doesn't understand that babies pick up on friction and will happily argue and be agreesive while he's in the house.
This is a genuine question

OP posts:
Original poster
Xmaxsmumx · 19/12/2017 16:24

Aww thanks for replying. That's what I mean I'd much rather us stay together-but I dont actually know how to pretend to want to be around him.
With regards to his mum , of a Sunday we go and see his parents , and then mine afterwards. But if I see my own mum for an hour through the week just because she's my mum and want to catch up, I'm then expected to go and catch up with his mum to even it out. I'm not allowed to see my mum if I'm not going to see his too. Why?? I'm obviously more close to my mum, there's things I'd discuss with my mum than I would with my inlaw. As long as we're still seeing his mum on a regular basis I don't see the need in this hour for hour thing. It's stupid. She is my mum! I don't ask him to see mine if he sees his. In actual fact I genuinely don't care if he sees them for a few weeks aslong as I see them. It's always an option that he comes along, he's always welcome but can
do as he pleases.
With everything else I just don't feel like he's bed particularly nice about everything. Disregarding my feelings if I ask for help etc. Manipulating arguments to deflect any blame from himself.
I want to put up with it for my sons benefit. I just don't know how to x

OP posts:
Linda1981 · 19/12/2017 11:22

Hi there, I am sorry you are going through this. Having a baby is one of the biggest strains on a relationship in general. In-laws are a delicate matter so diplomacy helps balancing things out. I don't see a problem in his request from that perspective. He loves his mother just as much as you love yours. Of course, he could be more considerate however most men are not as good with such young babies. It seems to me like you both need a break, maybe you could organise child care and have some time to spend together just the two of you and catch up on sleep? Things change and develop all the time and isolation/sleep deprivation can be very frustrating. I would say, try to focus on the positives, you have a healthy baby, a father who is there for the both of you. Raising a baby on your own can be very very lonely, exhausting and financially draining. I am sure your husband goes through stresses with sleep, work and comes home to his family where everyone is sleep deprived. I am not defending him. Should he ignore you, talk to him. Should he beat you, leave him. However a divorce is a very serious matter and I think things could get much better for you in time if you both support each other. Counselling is always a positive step. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you! Hang in thete

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