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Original poster

It's that old nanny or nursery dilemma

37 replies

NorthLondonmum83 · 29/11/2017 19:53

Would love some thoughts from those with experience of this...We both work five days a week, I have some flexibility and not very long days and live central London with a short commute. 9 month old and 2 year old. Going back to work and the 2 year old already in nursery. Baby can join, the baby room is nice enough. Cost of the two in nursery is massive, it's the same pound for pound as a nanny so I'm in the nice position of being able to choose the best option rather than worry about cost - (well, I do have to worry, it's a bloody fortune, but I mean there's no difference so...Smile) I'm keen on a nanny...about to interview someone who looks amazing. Love the idea of kids at home, no pick ups and calls when they're sick. Question really is my 2 and a half year old - he does like nursery but I'm sure he'll adapt. However can he be socialised and get enough interaction with other kids? I'm sure yes but I don't have any friends who have gone down this route to ask....

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Buglife · 29/11/2017 20:13

If a child can’t adapt to a change in circumstance at the age of 2, when can they?! He’ll forget about nursery so soon and he can go to pre school for 15 hours when he is 3. I agonised about taking my 3 year old out of his nursery to start him at the preschool year of the school he is going to to, I was in tears about it, he’s mentioned it about twice 😂 and he was so close with his key worker! He settled at the new place shockingly quickly. At that age they get into a new routine so soon. The ease of just being able to leave the house and come home to the kids with no drop offs, your children spending time together (they wouldn’t in nursery) etc would sell it for me. He can go to groups and have play dates with other Nanny charges. I would not rest this decision on a 2 year olds reaction to leaving nursery. Plenty children stay at home until 3 and preschool hours begin. It doesn’t disadvantage them as long as they have access to learning through play, books and social occasions. Let them be little without worrying about the educational system!

AveEldon · 29/11/2017 20:13

Nanny.
No taking both kids to nursery before your commute
Nanny can do playgroups, playdates, classes for socialisation

Original poster
NorthLondonmum83 · 29/11/2017 20:09

Southeaast that's my hope! I said to the agency on the phone 'Obviously I don't a Marry Poppins' *of course I do

OP posts:
southeastlondonmum · 29/11/2017 20:08

When I reduced my eldest DC time in nursery I was also really worried but they adjusted fine ( I made sure they remained in nursery on days their friends were there). A good nanny will give them a hugely different experience. And our last was like Mary Poppins- came home to a cooked meal, bathed kids etc etc

Original poster
NorthLondonmum83 · 29/11/2017 20:04

Thanks all Legend that's my worry with the eldest but I just don't know...he joined only at 13 months, part time, then a few months later he went down to two days a week when I had my (accidentally very close in age) second baby! I'm honestly not sure how he'd respond but I'd be devastated to make a change and upset him...After holidays he can seem reluctant to go back...I wish I could tell the impact on him. Bloody hell I wish someone had told me it was this hard all round tbh. And the constant effing guilt no matter what I do!!!

OP posts:
southeastlondonmum · 29/11/2017 20:02

We had similar issue and we actually did a mix of both. Worked really well - and also aided the transition to school when nanny was still on hand to do pick ups

Iwantawhippet · 29/11/2017 20:00

Our nanny did a group every morning, lunch at hone and a quiet afternoon playing at home. Trips to grandparents when we asked. You need to allow a bit of money to pay for groups. Ask your candidate how she’d spend a day with them.

I don’t think children need to socialise before 3/4. At 3.5 my children developed a strong sense of belonging in their class.

MrsPandaBear · 29/11/2017 20:00

People I know who've gone for a nanny put their older child in preschool for the free hours once they are eligible. I met several nannies at some of the toddler groups I went to so I think that's what people before that age.

Believeitornot · 29/11/2017 19:59

Nanny! Every time. Your nanny takes them to groups plus should have a network of nanny friends with kids of similar ages.
When my dcs got to 3, they went to preschool using the “free” hours as well.

TheLegendOfBeans · 29/11/2017 19:59

Personally I’d feel that to yank the two year old out of Nursery would be petty underline for him; I’m guessing it’s all he’s known since he was around six months old?

And again - personally - I think nurseries are great as they get kids experience in social bonds and a learning environment before they go to school, in a way I don’t think they’d get from Rhyme Times and soft plays.

Sympathies re the stonking cost of the childcare though, my DS goes to DDs Nursery in April and it’s the GDP of a small landlocked African country.

RicStar · 29/11/2017 19:57

Nanny will take them to groups / have a nanny network for playdates etc. If there is somewhere local that offers funded 15 hour places then get his name down ASAP - we have a few totally or pretty much free options in SE London - then nanny can take to pre school / nursery once he is entitled for socialisation.

CarlHickbread · 29/11/2017 19:54

Could the nanny take them to baby and toddler groups so they can interact with other children?

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