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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Childminder Issues

52 replies

ZL1986 · 22/09/2017 18:50

Hi, I'm kind of at tethers end, so I thought I'd come here for advice dealing with an unreasonable childminder and what my options are moving forward.

Circumstance is this, myself and my ex separated from each other 2 years ago, we both made pickups and dropoffs to our Childminder we selected because of her "exceptional" status prior to our breakup. We have two boys; 5 and 2.

Since the breakup, I've been trying to have more involvement with my kids in respects to their education and their everyday activities. The childminder in question has flatly refused to give me any feedback with the kids; stating she has no time to provide feedback, doesn't want me collecting from her setting because my ex partner is paying for childcare, she doesn't need to include me in any reports or give any information as to the children's progress education wise. Basically, been removed as a "father" full stop after making suggestions to provide reports, or just a phone call to tell me how the lads are progressing education wise.

There are no court orders in place and I haven't been anything other than a father wanting to play an active role in being an inclusive parent in their upbringing. It left me with no choice but to contact OFSTED as she is a registered childminder and they informed me that as a parent of equal PR I was not in the wrong for wanting to play an active role and she is wrong to not include me in any of my children's progression; either by self advice or by request of my ex partner. Needless to say I received a very aggressive phone call from herself and she finally made the assurities to myself that I would receive a monthly report as the my son's progress.

This has happened ONCE a few months ago and when I received the report it was poor to say the least; with numerous spelling mistakes and when I asked another childminder to look at it, they saw a complete lack of understanding of the EYFS and my children's observations when compared.

I have raised the issue with my ex partner and she doesn't seem to bothered to say the least; until I brought criticism and OFSTED into the mix, then she says our Childminder is not in the wrong.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to play a more included role in being a father considering the circumstances? I have informed OFSTED of the updated issues revolving around failed promises and a complete lack of empathy in understanding that I do have rights as a father.

Am I wrong? Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
BackieJerkhart · 22/09/2017 23:28

YABU to involve OFSTED when there is no question over her care and provision for the dc she is minding.

Umm, the childminder refused to allow a parent to collect their own child. Bloody sure you involve OFSTED for that!! I'd have called the police. She has no right to refuse to hand over a child to anyone with PR!!

Personally OP if possible I would sack this childminder on your contact days and find someone else who actually knows the law!

BackforGood · 22/09/2017 23:19

YANBU to want to be involved in your boys' lives however
YABVVVU to use the CM to play 'piggy in the middle'.

CMs do not 'provide reports'.

YABU to involve OFSTED when there is no question over her care and provision for the dc she is minding.

YABVVVVU to criticise her literacy skills.

Sort out your contact time with your ex partner and then you will see how your boys are doing.