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Original poster

Can you help me reframe my approach to my nanny or find another childcare option?

31 replies

Millybingbong · 04/07/2017 19:47

Thanks!!

We have 3 children, 1 in reception, 1 in preschool (moving to reception in september) and a baby at home full time. I work 3 days per week, dh 9 days a fortnight. We both have quite flexible jobs and dh has a lot of annual leave.

We have always had a nanny and then sent the dc1 and 2 to preschool aged 3 or so. However recently the nanny is working less well for us, we are wondering whether we need to start thinking of a new approach or whether we need to get over the annoyances and push on.

So - the good things:

  • nanny loves the children, and she loves them
  • she is flexible with days and hours and very reliable

Less good:

  • she used to cook an evening meal - these days she will only cook if she can prepare it while baby is napping. so every time it is pasta bake, or baked potatoes etc. she used to come up with what to cook but now it needs requesting and she doesnt follow instructions - ie i say cheese sauce, she puts tomato sauce etc - buggers up my meal plans. and she doesnt add stuff to the list, so i have to sleuth what has been used.
  • she used to clean, but doesnt really like doing washing, never dusts etc. she occasionally cleans bathrooms, and often does a lot of washing up when we have repeatedly asked her to use dishwasher. she used to put away laundry but now either does it really badly or leaves it for us.
  • she wont go to aldi because her husband got a fine from them once, so the only shop option is far away. she will put away a home delivery though.
  • she cant manage the swimming lessons for the older 2 (watch lesson and mind baby and supervise changing) - so I leave work early every week to do it.
  • she cant manage the morning nursery run and school run as timescales are tight - DH and I do it.
  • she wont have other children over to play with eldest afterschool as it is "risky" - although will visit other people's houses who i dont know with the baby in the day.

Care problems

  • she left baby napping in the car with the engine running today and came into the house. i was here and asked her to go get him.
  • in the hot weeks a fortnight ago I came home from work and it appeared baby hadnt had a drink all day. no beaker out or in the dishwasher - all 3 in cupboard.

sorry this is getting long, i need to get it off my chest. perhaps i should stop now and ask for opinions, if consensus is a new option i'll ask for help in what it should be...

Thanks

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Doubledottvremote · 04/07/2017 20:25

Why can she not batch cook?

Cleaning generally isn't a nanny's job. Especially if no child free time (like 2 hours when all at school and nursery)

Original poster
Millybingbong · 04/07/2017 20:22

for example with the cooking - they are in bed at 6pm and eat at 5pm so the problem is that dh and I are often still at work at that time so she has to feed them.

DH was saying maybe he should start batch cooking on sunday nights, which got me thinking - why are we paying a nanny if we are doing all the work!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Millybingbong · 04/07/2017 20:19

Thanks for the responses - I am pleased that you are verifying that I am not being unreasonable here - but I feel so sad as she really is part of the family and has been quite dear to us.

I just am getting the feeling that I am getting less benefit from the arrangement than I used to. She has been with us since I went back to work after dc1 - so 4 years. And while I was on mat leaves she came and took the older ones out just for fun. she has gone the extra mile.

I have raised things with her either quite generally or more specifically - she hasnt really explained the no drink thing but was apologetic about the running car thing.

There definately seems to be a dynamic now that stuff is too hard for her. she used to put the older two to bed when they were babies, and I can't imagine that now, even though they are all quite easy to do.

is another nanny the only option or could we manage with childminders/preschool etc with these ages?

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 04/07/2017 19:59

Well you have a nanny problem and need to tackle her performance head on. You could get a new and much better nanny.

She sounds rubbish.

stillnotjustamummy · 04/07/2017 19:59

It doesn't sound like it's working, but three is hard - I have similar ages. I'd split the roles up. Get a cleaner to clean, use an ironing company maybe to sort that, then everyone can pitch in on putting away what's left- nanny could tackle kids stuff only. If cooking is an issue would Hello Fresh or similar work for you instead?

Earlybird · 04/07/2017 19:57

How long has she worked for you?
Have you spoken to her about any of the issues?

It sounds as if she has gotten 'too comfortable' and has let things slide. Perhaps things deteriorated so gradually that now, when you stop to think of it, you've quite a long list of 'not so good'.

You need to speak to her. Be very specific what you want from her, and hope for a 're-set'.