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Original poster

Nanny references: what to ask?

34 replies

Eleusis · 23/03/2007 11:21

Give me some idead please! I'm talking to a Canadian girl who doesn't quite tick all the boxes on experience, but she is high on the "clique factor". She's got some childcare experience, but not full time, and not live in.

So, what should I ask the references? Any ideas welcome.

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jura · 30/03/2007 22:54

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Original poster
Eleusis · 30/03/2007 21:37

Yippee... she accepted.

Nanny hunt complete. (unless she backs out just before she gets here) She better not!!

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Original poster
Eleusis · 29/03/2007 12:13

Oh good point Majorstress, might have to remind him over the weekend.

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majorstress · 29/03/2007 10:52

Eleusis-do you mean that your DH will still remember you were looking for a nanny NEXT WEEK?

sunnyjim · 29/03/2007 10:02

questions i just asked:

I am writing to you to ask for a reference for xxx. She is

hoping to spend the summer with us in the UK as an au pair for our 2
yr old boy.

How long have you known xxx?

What experience has she had with you looking after children?

What ages of children has she looked after for you?

Could you comment on her tidyness and willingness to do household
jobs?

Punctuality?

Reliability?

Health - has xxx had much time off sick?

General personality
and I got great answers! in french though so had to run it via a translation service!

Original poster
Eleusis · 28/03/2007 21:12

Right, I've talked to DH who (not surprisingly) had basically no opinion and said I was free to do whatever I thought best. So, I'm going to overlook the untidy thing and go for it. (and put up with the possibility of constantly having to ask her to tidy up)

Anyway, decision made... now let's just hope she accepts the job. Fingers crossed...

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ScottishThistle · 28/03/2007 15:15

I'm sure she won't be that messy!

My Employers are messy on the weekend but I love them nonetheless!

Original poster
Eleusis · 28/03/2007 15:07

Okay, I coming round to messy nanny is not quite so bad. And of course no one is prfect so what am I stressing about.

Now, just need to clear the hiring decision through DH, who will no doubt say something like, "ok, if you say so, can I have Rost chicken for dinner tonigh?" And then next week, he'll ask me how the nanny hunt is going.

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majorstress · 28/03/2007 12:12

I've given up on nannies myself but I recall that book about nannies (that YOU recommended, eleusis) had lots of great ideas for interviewing the reference, including some telling "either,or" questions-that would be very revealing about the nanny's likely reaction to different situations. I.E neither answer was ideal. I don't have my book anymore or would be more specific.

piglit · 28/03/2007 12:03

Our nanny isn't tidy (in fact she can be really messy) and I'm really really tidy so I have had moments when I could have pulled my hair out. But you need to look at the bigger picture. As I said yesterday, our nanny is brilliant and my dses love her. I've had to get over the tidy thing.

I would definitely ask your nanny to make a real effort to be tidy and remind her if necessary. However, you will never get a nanny who is 100% perfect in every way - no one is. You just need to ask yourself whether you can overlook the not being tidy thing. If you can't then don't employ her because it will drive you mad.

It might help to ask yourself this question - how would you feel if she called you right now and said she had been offered another job and so wouldn't be accepting yours? The answer might help you to make up your mind!

ScottishThistle · 28/03/2007 11:11

Ha-Ha!...Actually I've got severe period pains & haven't even made my own bed yet!

thelittleElf · 28/03/2007 11:09

Maybe you coud pop round here Miss Thistle...my bed still needs making

ScottishThistle · 28/03/2007 11:03

Perhaps you could make a joke of the fact that tidy is quite important to you when you get home from work though you couldn't care less if the house is a pigsty all day long, I'm sure she & the children would manage to run around for 10mins before you arrive home sorting out the massacre!

I speak as an absolute tidyness freak, my Boss laughs when I've been in her bedroom & made her bed!

Original poster
Eleusis · 28/03/2007 10:57

It went really well. My only hesitation is that her reference mentions that she isn't very tidy. And I really hate coming home to a messy house (however, I must admit DH and I are also very negligent on the tiding front on Sunday evening -- often leaving th house in a less than ideal state for nanny on Monday morning). However, this is the only less than wonderful thing about this nanny. So, I pondering overlooking it and hiring the otherwise lovely nanny.

She is high on the click factor. She is keen to get involved in a church of the same religeon as ours. She is happy with pay, holiday, etc. She is happy with the length of the job. She seems very nice and well spoken. Seems to have a genuine love of kids. And is really looking to get to know British culture. She's even happy to ride on the bus (which is how she has to take DD to school every day)

Any thoughts anyone has are most welcome.

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ScottishThistle · 28/03/2007 10:22

Eleusis, how did the chat go with your prospective Canadian nanny???

Original poster
Eleusis · 27/03/2007 13:35

Oh, that was good advice. She is quite well travelled. In fact, if she get the job (and acepts it) she will be coming straight from Greece where she will be on holiday with her Dad.

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piglit · 27/03/2007 13:34

Sorry - haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said. A couple of ideas for you...

  1. what ages were her previous charges? IME some nannies might be great with, say 3 - 5 year olds, but rubbish with babies and vice versa
  1. what did she do with the children? Is she arty, does she swim, does she play?

FWIW our current nanny is not a qualified nanny as such but has worked in a nursery for 4 years. She is a zillion times better than our previous "qualified" nanny. She's adaptable, consistent, plays with the dses (2 and 1) properly (I can hear them all squealing with delight right now as they are playing in their tent outside). She's as honest as the day is long, she has the patience of a saint and my dses love her.

Click factor very very important imho.

ScottishThistle · 27/03/2007 13:31

Eleusis, my agency told me to take lots of photo's with me which was great advice & they helped a lot when I was a bit down.

Original poster
Eleusis · 27/03/2007 13:25

Oh, good tip on home sickness. She hasn't worked away from home before. I already know this and it'sone of my concerns. But, she is actually ahalf British and really like travel and is quite keen to come see British culture first hand. She is also a British citizen, which makes the wole visa debale go away... yippee!

But, I will do some digging on home sickness. Thanks.

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ScottishThistle · 27/03/2007 12:31

Eleusis, You may want to ask her if she's ever worked away from home & if she feels home-sickness may be a worry.

Original poster
Eleusis · 27/03/2007 12:27

Thanks everyone, there is some really good stuff on here. The potential nanny in in Canada and I'm going to call her for a chat tonight... hope it goes well.

Although I'm not too stressed out as I have plenty of time for my nanny hunt (job begins in July). But, I am keen to have it sorted sooner rather than later, so I hope it works out.

Thanks again. And, of course if anyone has any more comments for me, they are most certainly welcome.

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sunnyjim · 27/03/2007 09:44

Check factual stuff, like; how long did she work for you? what age did she look after for you? what were her duties? how long per day did she have sole charge etc etc.

then I go onto more open ended things like;
how many days off sick? for what types of illness, (ie was it one big bout of nasty flu for 2 weeks or 10 lots of monday mornings off)
skills in dealing with the age range I need her for.
reliability and punctuality
discretion - around family issues, this crops up if the nanny/au pair has told me things about her previuos fmaily. I may ask something like "whilst working for you if xxx became aware of personal/private issues relating to your family or work did she understand the requirement for confidentiality"
personality - could you describe xxx personality in 3 words

In a phone clal I woudl check up on any points that worried me or that weren't clear. For example I have a nice girl I'd like as an au pair but she didn't give me a full answer about first aid/dealing with illness in a child. I would ask in a phone call or email; Did xxx ever deal with a first aid emergancy for your children - for example if they fell over and bumped their head, or they had a temperature? How did she cope? what did she do?

sinclair · 23/03/2007 15:02

Excellent advice on here already. Always ask open ended questions, always of course why they left, days off sick, and the obvious would you employ her again. I got asked about ex-nanny's weaknesses lately and found that very tricky - so think that is a good one. If you sound a bit undecided at this stage, you can tell a lot by whether referee jumps in to 'sell' the candidate or not. Good luck!

fridayschild · 23/03/2007 14:23

I check what the candidate told me about the previous job - duties, how long it lasted, reasons for leaving - ask what they thought her strengths were, ask if there is anything they think that I as an employer should bear in mind and whether they would employ her again. I ALWAYS ask whether they would employ her again

ie start with factual stuff, move on to open-ended questions where they can be nice about her and end up with harder/ more contraversial stuff - so you can develop a bit of a rapport before you get to the real meat

Bink · 23/03/2007 13:09

Another one which elicits good responses is "is she someone who uses initiative, or is she more someone who follows instructions?" - because that's quite open-ended, you're not asking just a yes-or-no question. Also you actually may have a prefence as between an initiative-leader and an instruction-follower!