As a parent, would you find this too bossy?

"It's called parenting"... Get away! It's actually parenting one step removed, obviously, since there's another sole caregiver in the equation.

What nappies they wear doesn't affect the standard of care one iota.

Of course it's fine. I don't think parents get the right to "make a valid choice" over the nappies that someone else is going to change

zzzzz Sat 17-Jun-17 21:01:36

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10 to 15 years ago......grin. Ah I see "The Olden Days". grin

No their weren't courses then on how to change a nappy in your preferred way. hmm

I can't actually remember EVER changing a nappy as you describe, but yes pull-ups require you to remove trousers or tights and nappies require you to fiddle about with tapes."

Not sure why all old methods would be bad in your opinion but as I only have 30 years experience with children I must bow down to you obviously the new way is much better and quicker than the old way which you admit you've never tried as you have never been shown it....strange then that most childcare professionals in nurseries, hospitals, and child-minders all prefer the old way must be some irrational madness in us that means we stick to the old methods despite having hundreds of nappies to do a week against the much wiser who do what 3 to 5 a day for a mere 2 to 3 years .....again as I said I don't care what a parent does at home but they should be willing at least to support a childcare professional by listening to their requests ...this one doesn't mean extra expense doesn't mean the parent needs to do anything different other than provide for the cm a pack of normal nappies child can come in nappy pants cm will on changing replace with nappy for the day parent on changing can revert to nappy pants...price the same why is this so unreasonable?

I think as a childminder you are expected to fit in more with the child, as opposed to nursery where the child needs to adapt to fit in more.

My dd goes to nursery (preferred Choice) so I read all of the rules (and there were lots!) and complied. I think if I'd chosen a child minder I'd expect everything to be a bit more adaptable.

I think you should word it softly

"I find it quickest to change nappies if children are wearing a traditional nappy over a pull up style one. This gives me more time to play and support all the children. Of course this does not apply if your child is potty training.

I do not expect you to go and buy new shoes, but i prefer my mindees to not be in laces until they are able to tie laces (with a little help) themselves."

zzzzz.....

I am not saying parents need lessons as such but that in todays society the normal parenting craft either through family or the 10 week prenatal courses are not happening leaving parents to struggle it out themselves whereas 10 to 15 years ago nobody stripped off their baby's to change them as they had all been shown by either watching own family or in classes. If a parent really does prefer to take of shoes and strip off bottom half every time baby needs a change when they are out that's obviously up to them but I'm querying if anyone who does knows that you don't have to, Obviously with nappy pants you can get them off without doing this but you cant replace them. Having had several mums recently watch me do it and say they have never seen anyone change a nappy like this before I wonder.
It is also beyond me how its easy to put back on pants then trousers then shoes rather than quickly wrap new nappy fasten sticky tapes and pull back up trousers the trousers don't come off so your not fighting feet and baby is still because their legs are in the air.

IMO pull ups send mixed messages to children who are trying to use a toilet.
It didn't work that way for DD - pullups were an emergency backup for the adults' convenience, no-one was encouraging her to pee in them and she rarely did even at 1. We didn't stop using pull-ups until 2 as I was nervous about a 1 yr old in pants, but it was a total non-event when we did. And much cheaper than using nappies as the pullups would last several toilet visits, often stay dry all day.

But how it worked for a particular child is not the issue. If a CM won't use pull-ups, then it's a good idea to let parents know in advance so they know not to use that CM if nappies doesn't work for them. It's not up to a CM to dictate how parents parent, it's up to them to decide if they want to take on a particular family or not - and vice versa.

Also to answer a previous post CMs are usually more expensive than nursery but imo a good one is worth every penny.

My CM is the queen of the pass agg strop if we do something she doesn't like (but she's fab in everyone way so we've stayed with her for 6 years and just kept an eye on her moods to see what we shouldn't be doing ) It would be easier if she just told us first.

I don't think we're making a fuss, to be fair.

The OP asked if it would be too bossy: for me, it would be, for others, not so.

Your message to parents is absolutely fine OP. Some people on this thread seem to have forgotten that a Childminder is self employed and is not a Nanny which means the CM sets the rules. As a paying parent you therefore have the option to accept them and send your child or move on to another CM who meets your needs.

Why some posters are making such a fuss about a self employed working stating their terms and conditions is beyond me not to mention all this nonsense about the OP seeming inflexible and rigid because she has the temerity to let parents know her preferred way of working

My CM has a several preferences but she did not tell us this when we started working with her and have found out by trial and error e.g. she also prefers nappies but we didn't find out until we started sending DS in pull-ups and she started dropping hints, frowning when she saw the pull-ups. Would have really preferred it if she told us at the start!

Some of them are very difficult to tear in my experience. Also, they are more expensive, and easier for a child to remove which is not something I want them to be doing if they have pood in them.
In my setting children are either toilet trained, and so they are not needed, or they are not, so they are not needed. Children are potty trained outside of my setting. IMO pull ups send mixed messages to children who are trying to use a toilet.

dog cleaning poo out of a pull up is no different to cleaning it out of a nappy. You tear the sides off.

I'm a childminder and am thinking of doing this too. I find that the sort of parent's I want to attract would totally understand and be glad to have it all ironed out before they start, whereas those who would take offence are not necessarily the type of family I'd want to be working with.
And Yes to no pull ups... nothing worse than trying to clean poo out of a pull up without covering the child in poo!

*Yesterday 23:13 5OBalesofHay

How many children fo childminders have to have to make a living? Sounds like they are at a rush all the time. Are childminders a lot cheaper than nursery?*

I might be in a rush in the morning, but I manage to get 8 children out of the door, on time, for school every morning. I meet a lot of parents on my way back who have struggled to get one child out of the door on time and are late, again. We are on time (even with so many children) because I know what works and I have taught the children I look after a bit of independence, they can do their own shoes/jumpers/coats. Laces would not help that situation so yes, I do mention they are not the best for small children.

Just don't phrase them as negatives i.e. velcro and slip on shoes are preferable

I think every childcare provider and school will keep a note of concerns.

And just to clarify, I'm not talking about the usual safeguarding policies etc which you would expect a CM to have/follow. This childminder was very...authoritarian and seriously believed a parent giving a toddler Diet Coke in their own home was worthy of The Notebook entry

Are you the childminder who said on a recent thread you keep a notebook especially to write down things that parents do that you feel are of concern to you (the thread was specifically about giving a toddler Diet Coke and that childminder said they would make a note of it as it was a red flag/bigger picture type of thing IIRC?)

I do apologise if that wasn't you. I haven't ASed you and I think the thread was deleted anyway. You do remind me of that poster though. If it is you, I would thank god my DC are too old for a childminder!