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Original poster

Dd au pair having childcare issues

29 replies

bevelino · 27/04/2017 21:22

Dd is an au pair in Spain and one of the children has aspergers, which the parents did not tell her about before she entered into a contract. The child has very challenging behaviour issues and shouts and hits dd daily which she finds very upsetting.

The mother finds her child a challenge to deal with and often walks out and leaves Dd to deal with all the behaviour problems for up to 6 hours at a time which Dd finds difficult to cope with. I am becoming concerned about dd's mental health and wellbeing and want her out of the situation.

Dd only has 5 more weeks of her contract and feels she should stick it out. She has made good friends with other au pairs and her Spanish is now fluent, so it has not been all bad. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
NotSoHankyPanky · 27/04/2017 21:34

How long has she been there if she has 5 weeks left? How old is your daughter?

Original poster
bevelino · 27/04/2017 21:33

Dd FaceTimes me most days crying and I find it really hard to see her in that state.

Dd found the position on au pair world and do you think it would be unreasonable to contact the parents once she has left to let them know that the experience has been very challenging and that they should have let her know about their Ds and his behaviour.

Dd is torn because she knows it is not the child's fault that he behaves very badly towards her but says although the children are attached to her, she will not maintain any contact with the family once she leaves.

OP posts:
InfinityPlusOne · 27/04/2017 21:25

No I don't think your DD is obliged to stick it out. If she wasn't advise me in advance she was misled about what she was getting into. Au pairs are not expected to have a great deal of childcare experience and certainly not with children who have higher needs. She would need specific education/ training to deal with the situation she is in.

I'm sure the parents also find it hard but they are taking advantage of your daughter.

HCantThinkOfAUsername · 27/04/2017 21:24

I don't have any advice sorry, but you have my empathy. It's nice you care about her (my mum doesn't) I hope it works out. Sounds there are some positives to get her through the remaining few weeks?