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Original poster

Nanny Car Crash - what to do?

106 replies

ChocolateBiscuitCake · 02/03/2017 18:54

Firstly, she is okay (no children thankfully in car).

It happened on a country lane. Very narrow section that is notoriously difficult to navigate. Nanny stops when she sees an oncoming driver with horse box 20m away. Rather than stopping and pulling over early on (which she could have), the horse driver continues to the edge of nanny's car and insists nanny reverses - which nanny says she couldn't (not sure how true this is, but this is the version of events!). So after a war of words, horse driver ploughs forward and takes off the side of MY car.

Horse driver doesn't stop, until nanny runs after. No apology and I have been given the drivers name & number. I will call for the horse ladies version of events but, I wanted to check:

  • Who do you think is in the wrong?
  • How do I present this to the insurance company?
  • What happens if horse lady won't give her insurance details (her phone number suggests she lives in our village).
  • How do the insurance companies decide who is in the wrong?
  • How much is reasonable to ask nanny to pay for (she is on very good salary and lives in, so has no bills etc to budget for!), given there has to be an element of anger in this debacle otherwise it wouldn't have happened?? In my mind it was avoidable.

Part of me is furious at nanny as she should know that horse boxes are difficult to reverse so should have tried harder to reverse, regardless of whether horse driver was being unhelpful and difficult.

I am obviously furious that the horse driver has caused significant damage to an expensive car.

Any advise is much appreciated, please.

Off to find wine....

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 02/03/2017 21:42

Jiggly & 5more, yes bit harsh maybe. But if the nanny has intentionally got into a stand-off with another car because she decided that if the car gets damaged, we'll, it's not her insurance, then I'd be pretty annoyed about that.

Maybe if she had to cough up she'd be more careful in future, that's all.

Topaz0117 · 02/03/2017 21:37

Yab hugely u!

Your nanny told you she couldn't reverse! Had she attempted to reverse and damaged your car she'd have been at fault and I'm sure you'd of been angry.

Poor nanny can't win either way!

CharlieChopstix · 02/03/2017 21:36

And you don't go calling the other party! Ever. Keep out of it

CharlieChopstix · 02/03/2017 21:35

Eh? This is all completely irrelevant who did what and when

You have INSURANCE. Your nanny provides all details to them with her version of events. The other person does likewise and then the insurance company take it from there

It's actually not down to you do be some sort of insurance detective here

Wallywobbles · 02/03/2017 21:24

The fact that the horse box driver drove off makes them in the wrong whatever else happened. Police incident number and insurance. You need to stay out of it and do not be ringing the other driver whatever you do.

Original poster
ChocolateBiscuitCake · 02/03/2017 21:21

Not dripping at all - I have mentioned many times that there was heated debate, cross words exchanged, hot headed, heat of the moment etc. To ensure no one thinks that I am making that up, I have simply added that she herself told me she was aggressive, rather than me assume she was.

I am really surprised how many people think I am unreasonable for being cross.

Carrot - that is exactly my concern - word v words and the insurers happily pay out to no one.

OP posts:
Anotherminime · 02/03/2017 21:19

It seems like I'm the only one, but I completely see where you are coming from OP. If your nanny had reversed, instead of getting into an argument, then this wouldn't have happened. Everyone driving on the roads should be able to reverse their car. If you can't or are too worried to then do not drive. Narrow country lanes require a bit of give and take between drivers. As I said before, if it happens as the nanny claimed, then there is no excuse for the horse box drivers actions. But I can see why the OP would be pissed that her nanny got into a fight in her car, the result of which was damage to the car.

5moreminutes · 02/03/2017 21:17

Chocolate perhaps she's used to driving a somewhat scratched mini bus for an understanding employer...

Seriously what would you have done if she'd badly scratched it reversing? Are you seriously saying you believe you'd have been fine with that as she'd submitted to bonkers horse lady's bullying, even though faced with a scratched car and nobody else to blame you couldn't have known she'd prevented horse lady bulldozing the entire side off the car?

If she'd scratched the paintwork reversing you'd have been after her to pay for a respray.

CocoaLeaves · 02/03/2017 21:14

Maybe you need a new nanny then, who would not be verbally aggressive and you trust.

Kr1stina · 02/03/2017 21:13

Ah, drip drip.

We now have a 10min shouting match not mentioned in the OP

As well as mini bus of teenaged boys

Hmm
carrotcakecupcake · 02/03/2017 21:12

Similar situation happened to my DH and a school bus on the narrow lanes near where we live. Husband pulled in and parked but the bus continued to plough through. Bus caused damage, DH took details and submitted a claim. Bus company came back claiming DH hadn't stopped and wanted to claim knock for knock. The only reason DH won his claim was because he had a witness who verified that DH was stationary and bus had continued moving forward.
I'm afraid it will be one parties word against another. Highly recommend getting dash cams for the future.

5moreminutes · 02/03/2017 21:11

Aye you could ask, but unless you'd put a clause in her contract and she had signed to accept then you couldn't make her pay. I'd think asking her to pay £1000 in this situation would lose you your nanny without getting you a penny of your huge excess back from her (if she's any self respect and isn't totally intimidated by her employer...)

Why does the nanny need to drive such an expensive car anyway? A new, small to medium size car with a good NCAP safety rating would be ideal, but not some expensive monstrosity which costs such a huge sum to insure that a £1000 excess is the only option and she's terrified of damaging it.

I agree a dash cam would be a good investment.

Kr1stina · 02/03/2017 21:11

You are now characterising this situation as having a fight with someone and not wanting to help resolve the situation

When in fact nannny DID stop and give way to other driver. She said she couldn't reverse and other driver then hit her and failed to stop.

There's no evidence that nanny had a fight or did not try to resolve it, as you claim.

You are clearly determined to find fault with nanny and I wonder why this is? Do you dislike her? Do you resent the costs of hiring her ? Is this the first time you've have employed anyone?

You are in a work situation too here and you need to be reasonable and rational.

iMatter · 02/03/2017 21:09

If you ask her to pay up I suspect she'll be looking for another job.

Original poster
ChocolateBiscuitCake · 02/03/2017 21:08

But there was a ten minute shouting match from both sides prior to this. She is 53! I suspect she was just as verbally aggressive (she told me the horse lady would say so if I called her!). Both parties were riled and cross.

If she had been at a standstill with no word or stand off then, yes, I would be wholly sympathetic!

I am not questioning that the horse lady was bonkers. But in her shoes, I would have reversed first...and nanny used to drive a minibus of teenage boys - she is more than capable of reversing a car WITH a rear camera!

I would never ask her to pay £1000 - I said a contribution. Which, as I have said on many occasions, I will not ask her to do!!!!!

OP posts:
CocoaLeaves · 02/03/2017 21:06

Surely as her employer, you have a duty of care.

You decided she was experienced enough to drive a big expensive car around country roads. She did not take the car without permission. Did she have adequate experience?

I am not getting why you are insisting she was angry. Maybe she was worried about crashing the car? How old is she?

Anyway, just let the police and insurance sort it out.

JigglyTuff · 02/03/2017 20:59

You'd ask her to pay £1000 Aye?? Really? How is it the nanny's fault that the OP is cheap woefully underinsured?

JigglyTuff · 02/03/2017 20:58

stationary, not stationery! Bloody autocorrect

AyeAmarok · 02/03/2017 20:56

If it turns out she was partly to blame (somehow) I'd ask her to pay the excess.

JigglyTuff · 02/03/2017 20:55

If your nanny was stationery, it wasn't her fault. No matter how cross the woman with the horse box was

And yes, that's a good point about your car. Is it a car that a lot of people might think 'wanker' at and be more aggressive? I'm not saying that's right but driving behind a Jag 4x4 today I noticed a degree of attitude from other drivers

Chippednailvarnishing · 02/03/2017 20:54

I actually feel sorry for the nanny. Someone hits the car she was stationary in and you are still looking to blame her.
Nice.

5moreminutes · 02/03/2017 20:53

If the nanny had reversed your fancy car into a ditch and the horse woman had driven on her merry way it would have been all on your poor nanny and you would have been trying to make her pay for the damage - of course she didn't reverse!

Horse box driver's fault clearly and unequivocally whether she could have reversed or not. Claim on your insurance and buy a small run around for nannies to drive in future.

HappyFlappy · 02/03/2017 20:49

Whether the insurers pay or not, it isn't nanny's responsibility.

Horse woman was aggressive and unreasonable, and you can't predict "bonkers".

mowgelijeffs · 02/03/2017 20:47

I get stressed when I'm driving a big car down the country lanes. Also I noticed when I was driving a massive Range Rover people pulled out on me more, beeped at me more and stared at me more. They always do this when I'm in a nice car. The horse lady could have been jealous of the car.
Also, once I damaged my husbands alloy and he was so upset it happened that I now won't ever go into a multi story car park or down right roads in case I damage the car. He is precious and it's affected my confidence. Maybe your nanny didn't feel confident enough to reverse up into the bushes.

Original poster
ChocolateBiscuitCake · 02/03/2017 20:40

If the nanny had reversed the car and the accident would not have happened!

But lets assume the nanny had reversed and was at a standstill - and the horse lady still hit her, I don't think I would have been cross as by reversing it would have shown she was willing to concede, didn't want the car to get hit and was generally being helpful.

We live rurally - there are always tractors, trailers, horses on the road. I never make a journey without having to pull over or reverse - it is just what happens around here.

Accidents happen - having a fight with someone and not wanting to help resolve the situation is really disappointing when you are in your work capacity.

My asking her to contribute was on the assumption the insurers wouldn't pay. Now I understand how it works!

OP posts:
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