Trying to find a nanny for weird/irregular hours- WWYD?

Tanker - how do you find your babysitters and how much do you pay if you don't mind me asking?

Babysitters here seem to charge £10 an hour which is twice the local childminding rate. I struggle to get my head around this as the childminders are all well qualified and clearly invest in their development (Ofsted, First Aid, Childcare courses etc.)

Also, look at childcare swaps with friends. We have arrangements with two families whereby we babysit for them and they for us. Obviously in our case it's more for dinner and movie night, but it works well. And quite often it lands up being last minute. Dh unexpectedly had to go to a funeral a few weeks ago but I had a work dinner. I rang our friends two days before and they arranged to cover. Because they knew it works the same for us when they unexpectedly need help.

I do think you have to reduce the expectation of one person. I would be looking for at least three people, all of whom you guarantee say 10 hours a. I think, and then working from there. You need a mix of regular nannies you work part time and child minders/ nursery staff who are looking to pick up evening shifts to increase earnings. You will struggle to find someone who wants to have you as sole employer. But you sound like a great option for good people who just want a few extra shifts every month.

It's a pain to find multiple people. But I think it's by far your best option.

I'm looking for a small amount of childcare after school 1 day (though it is fixed) and I was surprised that I didn't get much response from gumtree or childcare.com but posting on the local mums group on Facebook has yielded some results and I'm meeting someone next week I'm cautiously optimistic about.

For evening stuff/rehearsals (I do a fair bit of orchestra things) we have a young 'regular babysitter' rather than a nanny. Have just changed but the last person we had was 21, just back from Uni, not very experienced initially but lovely, very responsible and keen to learn. I think if your two are good sleepers then you can maybe treat the evening's differently and try to get a regular babysitter you can 'train up' rather than a nanny maybe? For concerts I always made sure there was a back up in case of a problem eg maybe mil in your case?

I think it would suit someone whose children have grown up and don't need them around in the evening/weekend. I know someone this would suit, but they are nowhere near you...keep looking and advertising; the right person must be there somewhere!

You could try;

nanny share - this can work. I've done a nanny share before where one half was a consistent, regular job and the other half was an ad-hoc arrangement. I've also known other nannies do this. The arrangement I had was that the regular family paid slightly under market rates with the agreement that I was free to pick up ad-hoc work to top up my salary. I did cover evenings/weekends as well, but only if I was free I didn't promise that. You'd need a babysitter/other carer/MIL available to cover times when the nanny is busy.

A local parent - It could work for a local parent who is at home with their own child. They probably won't be a qualified nanny, but will have parenting experience.

Two nannies - Finding one person to do this is very tricky and I understand why you don't want a constant stream of people, but you could look for two or even three nannies who would between them be able to cover all the hours. Your children will be fine getting used to two or three people, it's just like in a nursery where there are three+ members of staff in each room.

You will not find a qualified and experienced nanny to do all of these hours for a normal, or even slightly higher wage. You will have to compromise somewhere.

What about trying to find a Nanny with own child who might be up for ad hoc days and then a couple of regular evening babysitters.
Do you have any other local musician friends that you could perhaps share a Nanny with for 3 fixed days a week or something thus reducing the cost for each of you but having the back up?
I think this is the kind of scenario where you really need to think outside of the box a bit.

So, if you have your MIL two days a week, you are essentially asking someone to keep five days a week free (if you include weekends), but only offering to guarantee them 12.5 hours a week - nanny days are usually long, often 10 hours, so you want to reserve five days a week but possibly only pay them for 1.2 days a week.

The ways I could see this working are:

1. you pay so vastly over the going rate that they don't mind the uncertainty
2. you find someone who has their own movable commitments - maybe a student doing a course with not many fixed teaching commitments where they need time to study but it doesn't need to be at fixed times
3. can't think of a third

You are very unlikely to find a qualified nanny who will do this and an agency won't be interested in putting too much effort into it - at 50 hours/month their fee (which is usually a multiple of weekly salary) won't be worth the effort.

I'd suggest that you look for several people and each week you'll have to check who is free to cover the hours you need. Don't expect them to be qualified nannies - I would go for experience rather than qualifications.

You're not getting grief. I'm sorry that I didn't tut and say "what's the world coming to when experienced nannies can pick and choose jobs with better pay and regular hours." That's clearly what you were expecting.

Wow OP. Some helpful even though it seems to be not what you want to hear.
London (you haven't clarified but I'm guessing) is a bloody expensive place to live and work! You say someone 'might' be able to fit in other work. Unless they were in a fortunate enough position to be able to work part time/flexible/short notice hours, they'd HAVE to have another job.

I do sympathise. It must be hard. But very few people are going to want those hours, especially if not fixed and full time. That's just the reality of it.

We had a slightly different problem in that we work shifts starting as early as 430am and finishing as late as 2am. And those shifts aren't regular, sometimes we don't get those shifts until Thursday of the week before. It was impossible to find childcare. Even offering above average wages/ a decent amount of minimum hours we found it impossible. I ended up switching to part time and my husband moved to a different work location and we now work opposite shifts. There are very few options available if you work outside the 9-5. You have my sympathies.

You don't seem to me to be willing to compromise. A babysitter isn't good enough for you, you want someone highly qualified and the same person every time. You won't offer any more hours so it is FTE equivalent which would attract someone. I'm just being realistic as in your OP you sound totally bemused that no one wants your job.

How can anyone fit in any other work, which they will need to top up your wages, around working for you unless you have some regular hours?

ArtandCo made a good suggestion.

Huish - I've got a very similar problem to you (in fact I created my own thread on this yesterday!).

And funnily enough, I live less than ten miles down the road from you!

I'm also a musician, but a portfolio musician so I only do a small amount of playing; the rest is audio editing, arranging and teaching. I'm struggling to find someone just to cover the two evenings I teach even though that is a fixed day/time every week. There just don't seem to be any flexible childcare options. All the nursery and childminder hours end at 6:30pm around here.

Babysitters will cover evenings but charge nearly twice as much but don't have the qualifications etc. that childminders have.

Can you have just a fixed day per week? Ie every Friday 7am-7pm? Then you work that day if needed ( assuming freelance from your nature of work), and if your not working have nanny in anyway and you can take one child each for part of the day for 1-1 time, or she does some child related chores ie children's laundry etc?
I think paying for fixed days is the only way as otherwise they can't work elsewhere

Can you not commit to 2 days with the nanny 9am-7pm say and then Mil fill in the other days?

What hours are you actually working as a musician? I say babysitter as if it's evening work 5pm onwards then a babysitter would be a better fit than a nanny.

I did read all your posts, thanks. You found one woman who was willing to do it. Now you can't find anyone. But you don't think you should compromise on anything.

I think it was helpful, actually. You are being unrealistic.