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Original poster

Nanny down time

61 replies

7654novice · 11/01/2017 20:11

Hi. Our nanny works a couple of days for us. She is great in so many ways!!! So amazing with kids and generally pleasant and professional. We try not to micromanage her as we feel she's capable and we trust her with the kids.
One issue though - baby has started taking much longer naps in the morning time in the last couple of months and nanny does not seem willing to use any of this 1.5-2 hours to do Anthony round the house. To be fair, we did originally say that we want her to be a Childminder and not a housekeeper but baby slept less then and we didn't think she'd have much time to spare.
I have broached it with her, gently to start, but several tines more recently as direct but pleasant requests. She seems really put out and I feel hostility creeping in as a result.
To add, older 2 (school going) get a half hour TV in the afternoon and she also has a sit down then while baby has a second nap. We do not ask for any cooking and she doesn't feed kids apart from baby's lunch which is pre made by me. She works an 8 hour day.
Am I asking too much to expect her to use some of this 1.5-2 hours productively presuming she's had time for a decent break?

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NuffSaidSam · 11/01/2017 23:15

It depends what you've asked her to do.

It is within a nanny's role to do 'nursery duties', as described by PP.

It is outside of a nanny's role to do other household chores, unless this has been specified in the ad, at the interview and in the contract. A nanny who takes on additional housekeeping tasks is generally referred to as a 'nanny housekeeper'.

What did you ask her to do?

wizzywig · 11/01/2017 23:06

Wow wherestheevidence!!! You must be knackered at the end of the day. I know with my nanny i ended up asking her to work an extra hour 2/3 times a week to allow her to tidy and iron. I asked her what she felt was reasonable. But she does cook and do their packed lunches. We also habe 3 kids.

Crumbs1 · 11/01/2017 23:05

I only ever had two nannies, rest of time I had mature women as housekeeper/mothers help. The nannies were employed as professionals with responsibilities for children. The last one was only 18 herself - sometimes she had three under 5 - so I think she earned any break she got. I never asked her to do general housework but did ask her to do errands like collecting dry cleaning or posting stuff. She'd happily swop laundry around and fetch drying from line. She tidied up with and after children, loaded and emptied dishwasher etc. She was a dreadful cook so I never asked her to do evening meals. She also was young so didn't see what needed doing household wise but that was a small price to pay for her loveliness and entirely trustworthiness.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/01/2017 23:00

What have you asked her to do exactly?

WheresTheEvidence · 11/01/2017 22:58

I work a 13 hour day 6-7 4 days a week. I get "down time" when the 2 children baby and 3.6 year old have a nap; however I am usually doing something or other. I always say it'd be nice to have some time but end up cooking/cutting out card for art activity/folding washing etc.

During my day I

6- 8 prepare and make breakfast/tidy up the kitchen/put on a load of washing/empty dishwasher/maybe batch cook something/feed children breakfast/play with them/put on laundry
8-9 get children dressed/help with teeth/encourage children to do chores - make bed - put laundry away - tidy up toys / pack up a lunch if going out
9-12 groups/classes plus chores in town
12 lunch time - make food from scratch or reheat leftovers/wipe over kitchen/chat
1-3 sort out laundry - wash - hang up - fold / batch cooking / prepare art activities/sort playroom/sort childrens clothes - what fits etc/ tidy up/ email boss/write in diary/put out clothes for tomorrow
3-5.30 out the house until tea / run errands/ playdate etc
5.30-6.30 tea / bath time
6.30-7 prep things for tomorrow/put laundry in hamper/tidy bathroom etc

NannyR · 11/01/2017 22:56

I would ask her to do the evening meal for the children, or start doing some prep for you if you prefer to cook and eat all together later on, she could do that whilst the older children are watching tv.
Nannies duties would normally include things like children's laundry - washing, drying, ironing/folding and putting it away, keeping the children's toys clean and tidy, tidying their rooms, changing their bedding. She has loads of time to do a bit of that every day and still have a decent break. It would make your life easier too if you are out at work eight hours a day.

Original poster
7654novice · 11/01/2017 22:48

Yes nannynick, the contract allows scope for changes to her job description with agreement. As the nap length changed quite dramatically I thought it was a good opportunity to ask her to do a few more things.

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Original poster
7654novice · 11/01/2017 22:46

Yes, sorry about the Anthony typo!!!
In her defence she will happily fold a load of laundry if there's a load in the machine. That's where it stops though. So she might fold one load of laundry in her 2 days and I suspect she does this when baby's awake (which is fine). She tidies up after the kids a little but the older ones have always been made to tidy up after themselves and the place is generally not clean and tidy when we get home.
The problem seems to be when I ask her to do something specific and I can see the defences rising! I want to keep the goodwill alive and I'm reluctant to rock the boat but I'm not sure I can stomach her sitting comfortably for so long in the day. Having a nanny is a stretch for us financially!

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nannynick · 11/01/2017 22:22

With three children there must be lots of laundry, could they not put some of that on, hang to dry, fold putaway etc?

Does your contract give you any opportunity to tell them what to do? I suspect it does, so you can ask.

They do need a break but for the relationship to work there needs to be some give and take, you need to come to an agreement that caring for the children is more than just being with the children but also involves getting involved in the general running of the household.

Mamagin · 11/01/2017 22:22

Well, it depends on how 'hot' Anthony is!
I don't think that you are being unreasonable. I'm a Nanny and wouldn't dream of sitting around while a baby slept. And an hour and twenty minutes break in an 8 hour shift!
I believe that if I am in loco parentis, then I should do everything that I would have done at home with my own children, including any housework that needs doing.

sqidsin · 11/01/2017 20:20

Hmmm...
Well I would say that she probably deserves a one hour lunch break during the first nap at least. And a 20 min break for a cup of tea/recharge her batteries later?
Maybe the best way to approach it would be to ask her to do specific chores - e.g. it would be usual for the nanny to prepare the children's evening meal. Even if you get home in time to serve it to them, she could prepare it in advance?

However... having employed nannies in the past, I think the most important thing is whether the children are happy with her and you believe she is caring for them well. And that you have a good relationship with her yourself. If you have these things, I think you may have to let go on the "down time" issue.