Nanny down time

"But the 2 hour sit down she's getting is driving me nuts! I sat down for a sum total of 7 minutes yesterday, one of my days at home."

You seem to have accepted that the posters here are right about what tasks you can ask a nanny to do - which is fine

But there is something else. You have to disconnect from being "driven nuts" about her getting a sit down (if there is still time for one when she has done all the reasonable child-related things).

She isn't you. It's your house and your family. She's a paid employee.

If you were the receptionist for the CEO who owned the company, would you think it reasonable that he expected you to stay all night when he stayed all night? Just because he has to, so why don't you?

Respect her. Be nice. Draw up a reasonable list of additional things: child laundry, child food, etc, and suggest that she get to that when she has time. Say that you didn't expect her to have any time when the baby was up and down all the time, but you hope things have settled down a bit now, and she should probably have time to get to some of this. Don't check up on her. Trust her to be reasonable about a balance between working flat out and being strung out, and lounging about on her phone.

If it turns out she is actually a proper piss-taker, get a new nanny. If she doesn't work at the flat out pace of a mum in her own house at home with preschoolers, cut her some slack - it;s not her house.

My understanding has always been that nannies will generally only do nursery duties: so personally I would never ask mine to iron or wash my clothes or do any general cleaning/dusting. She will unload the dishwasher if it's been run, or set it if it's full. She has actually offered to do some batch cooking for the whole family to eat including adults (especially when our new baby arrives) - but I think there is a big difference between offering as a favour and having it set as part of your explicit role.

It seems to me though that you could reasonably ask her to:

• Leave the sink and drainer empty if you do so in the morning (i.e. then she is only washing/putting away what she and the kids have used)
• Batch cook or do preparation for cooking children's meals including for evening meals (if you were at home you would probably do some prep for evening meals during the day - and presumably you sometimes have leftovers etc. from evenings and weekends that she can use for the kids?)
• Put away the kids clothes when they are out drying (even if they have been washed together: my DD doesn't get through enough to justify separating out the washes, but when I remember to hang it to dry separately my nanny will fold and put away).
• Leave toys tidy at the end of the day (other than whatever they are playing with/doing at that moment).

When the Baby I look after is asleep I take a break. I I will do laundry/ironing and cooking. On a Friday I clean her toys. But that's it.

"it used to annoy the shit out of me when employers would ask me to empty the dishwasher. Your evening meal, you empty it."

Crikey. That wouldn't work in this house. We need everyone to muck in and we've always been very clear about that, there's no way on god's earth I'd be stressing about emptying a clean dishwasher of the kids' plastic plates in.

Think this thread shows that there's a MASSIVE range of expectations, which fits with our personal experience too, so the only way round it is to clearly put it in the Job Specification. No surprises.

A nanny is a specialist childcare worker. Many of them are highly qualified, and good ones have chosen to devote their careers to looking after children. It looks like you need a general skivvy rather than a nanny - I can't believe you actually asked a nanny to clean windows!!! I doubt you'll have a problem with her much longer - she's probably looking for a new job. As others have said, nannies do duties relating to the children. If you want a cleaner, you'll have to hire one separately. You sound like you are just jealous of the fact that she has a longer break than you, and trying to be malicious by giving her horrible things to do like cleaning the windows. Totally unfair and unreasonable.

Pippitysqueakity - my 3.4 year old charge still naps for 2 hours after lunch! He has done since I started looking after him at 5 months old.

Jumpingcold - I'm not really sure what else you need to know! If I'm making macaroni cheese I freeze some plain, some with ham, some with chicken (I generally cook fresh veg for each meal) what ever is in the fridge. Same if I make a tomato based sauce, I add extra stock to make soup, meatballs to some, chicken, cod, salmon again, whatever is in the fridge.

Not a nanny or a nanny employer but as a parent I bet this halcyon nap period doesn't last and in about 1-3 months, nap time will reduce and problem will be solved.

Smooth? A lot lol

So 1/4 of her working days she is relaxing

Yes nannies deserve a break but takes 10m to sort and out washing on. Not like SHe has to scrub by hand

Yes sitting down doing nothing for 2.5hrs in an 8hr day is smooth

But

As others said I'm not suprised she's pissed off with you asking her to dust and do windows. She is not a cleaner !!!!!

But

You can ask her to do nursery related stuff. Yes she can do some washing and we many separate kids /adults. Just buy another hamper to put kids clothes in

No one likes to wash their employers dirty blood stained - skid marked etc undies

Nanny doesn't like to cook 🙄🙄 tough. That's part of Nannys duties / she can batch cook or least prepare /chop veg etc for kids meals

Ok, I see

Only 6 weeks holiday? So no half terms, Easter, Christmas holidays?

I really don't think you are being unreasonable to expect her to do nursery duties - most nannies would expect to do them as normal. And while a break is nice, it doesn't always happen in a sole charge nanny job (just like it doesn't for a sahm), nannies know that.

I started the job I'm in now five years ago, I had two school age children and a "high needs" baby (translation - hardly any naps and couldn't be put down). As well as looking after the children, I did the children's laundry, changed bedding, tidied bedrooms, kept the kitchen and playroom much cleaner and tidier than it was when I walked in in the morning, cooked an evening meal every evening and cleared up afterwards. It was bloody hard work but that's the reality of working as a nanny, fast forward a year or so and the baby was in a much better routine and I started to get a proper break (not in school holidays though). Now all three are at full time school and I have loads of time to myself, however I use my initiative and do jobs that I can see need doing around the house that the parents don't have time to do, as well as cooking food for the weekends.

Your nanny may be brilliant with the children but she's not really working as a nanny, more like a babysitter whose only responsibility is to look after the children.

I was a nanny for 20 and managed a couple of nanny agencies. As others have said, asking her to clean windows and dust probably got her back up.

And it used to annoy the shit out of me when employers would ask me to empty the dishwasher. Your evening meal, you empty it.

I would never dream of having the house untidy when you came home though. But how are you leaving it in the mornings? Are you expecting her to tidy your mess up or is it all tidy?

I never had more than a half hour break in a 12 hour day to be honest. Two hours is a bit much.

Meant to add this decreased as he got older and napped less which was fine, it was about being flexible from both sides!

We used to have a nanny two days a week when my son was little and she was allowed down time if course but her job description also included child orientated tasks such as children's washing and ironing, preparing all children's meals and cleaning their rooms and keeping playroom tidy. In reality their rooms were always tidied by us but she used to do the rest and still have down time. Washing and meal prep she did whilst he was awake anyway. She did 8.00-6.00 and also picked up my daughter from school.

BTW you need a break too.don't be a martyr.

I alwayssit down as soon as my babies go to bed. The nanny mostly doesn't - although I tell her to!

But she also cleans the whole house including the random bits, does all the washing, cooks for us all, and leaves thr place spotless.

Dh prefers it when I'm at work

I agree with milk if she stays come the holidays she will be run off her feet with 3 kids.

Legally she's entitled to a 20 minute break for every six hours worked (rules for domestic workers).

You sound resentful. I would let her have the break, you will end up losing her if you push this. You want her to be busy just for the sake of it. If you were home all day with your child and they slept for an hour would you immediately start finding things to do ? Just because she's being paid doesn't mean it's any less tiring.

Callaird - I'm intrigued by this batch cooking and protein adding, can you spell it out a bit more. Thanks!

I do think she's miffed at the type of job you are asking her to do.

Doing the children's laundry takes minutes, sort, throw in machine, add soap and press start, hang out or throw in dryer. I do all of that with my charge, I have video of him at 9 months putting clothes in the washer!! I iron when he's asleep, one week I have to iron his cotton bedding, the following week I fold his synthetic fireman Sam duvet cover. I iron maybe 4 tops and 2 pairs of trousers (I do iron my bedding at work but that is definitely during my 'break' time. And yes my boss knows about this!) so it takes 15-20 minutes. (I do also wash and iron all their tea towels!!) That is Monday and Thursdays break, Tuesday I batch cook for the freezer, so I'll do a cheese sauce add pasta to some of it, cauli and brocolli to some more and gnocchi to the rest. Add various proteins to various batches, chicken, ham, bacon, fish, takes maybe an hour (although I'm a messy cook so tidying up takes a while!) I also prepare enough for my employers to add something too. Tomorrow it's hoisin duck, charges favourite is duck donburi so they get the leftovers. (But that's going in the slow cooker first thing and will take 10 minutes. I'll do sticky rice a stir fry vey for my charge at lunch and they will use it how they please! Then while he naps I will sit on the sofa with crap tv and do menu plan and Ocado shop!)