Nanny with own child, would you hire?

I have done this and I wouldn't recommend it I'm afraid.

Our nanny brought her child with her after returning from her maternity leave so we had a clear 'before and after' experience.

Lots of issues came up despite the children getting on really well. The wear and tear on our house/toys/equipment was significant - especially as the nanny's child wasn't careful with my children's belongings. The nanny's child was very different to my kids and we had to make many changes to our home to keep them safe. The nanny didn't have time to do any light housework which meant I had to do it when I got home which left me shattered and putting away laundry at midnight every night after work etc.

My kids activities and play dates were limited by the nanny's child being around. The nanny's child was always ill and this affected her willingness to take the kids out to the park etc. My kids also had to get taken along to their many drs appointments. The nanny's child was a fussy eater and my children's diet became quite limited as the nanny was gradually only catering for her child's preferences.

In the end we had to sack her despite her being a great nanny. If she would come back to us without her child in tow I would hire her like a shot.

I would say for older children that would be fine as they would play together. At 9 months and 5.5 months I think the nanny would struggle to care for them both well. She's probably being very optimistic but a 9 month old could be on the move and then it would be very difficult to meet both their needs. Her child would need weaning whilst caring for your DS and if her baby cried whilst she was working it would be very hard for her to not want to just hold her own child (obviously) but then what happens if your DS wants or needs carrying or holding. It would be hard for her. Not impossible but very challenging.

I'd also consider nanny share would cost you 50% you are nanny sharing with her and you are paying 100%.
Childminders charge a lot less per hour to reflect the fact they have other or own children there.

The minded child always came first and my children had to fit in because that what nannying is about

How do you explain that to a breastfed baby?

I always took my children to work with me when they were younger.
Worked really well and no different to a childminder.

The minded child always came first and my children had to fit in because that what nannying is about

Absolutely not. No. everyone whom I have ever known to do it (3) have found it does not end well.

I wouldn't. I've been the Childminder in this situation and I found it incredibly difficult to be even handed, especially in relation to discipline or if both kids wanted one toy. To the extent that I stopped childminding.

Sounds brilliant to me. Both kids at similar ages so doing activities together and an instant playmate. Perhaps have a couple of trial sessions to make sure kids get on ok. tricky to anticipate if they are only a few months old though but equally they would grow up together.
Mine went to a childminder who had her own kids and she was great.

My only reservation would be, how does she envisage being able to look after 2 babies so close in age whilst she is breastfeeding one of them?
Is it her first baby? I ask because the logistics might prove difficult unless she is an experienced mother, not just an experienced nanny.
Lots of people I know found it really hard to deal with breastfeeding a second baby while looking after a toddler, but doing it while looking after another baby would be more difficult. If she's used to breastfeeding and has it well-established then maybe she could manage, but I think it's something to consider and discuss.

Ah sorry, u just saw you mentioned the age.
That makes it a little more difficult but I think he will still end up getting more one on one attention than if he went to a nursery at that age.

Meet her. You will probably be able to follow your gut instinct after that.

the whole point of nanny bringing child is it's a deal for both of you. She isn't paying all salary to nursery and you get a discount too. Dosnt sound much of a deal for you at all. You could get someone else for sale price and 100% attention.

I would consider for the short term before nursery could take but it's no deal for you

I agree with fee first response, it sounds great.

How old is your son? 9 months would be very different to 3 years! Basically, the older the kids the less this will be a problem I think.

I'm sure if she is as experienced as you say she is, she will have professional strategies to make sure she treats them as equally as possible.

Also, when you have a coffee with her why don't you just ask her and raise this as a concern? That's how this would be approached in any other job interview.

Hope it works out.

I think it could be really great
I understand what your DH says, but I really don't imagine it would happen. Certainly less than nursery!

I wouldn't, I agree that the children in a nanny's care should be equal. I'd be worried mine was coming second all the time.

I personally wouldn't. I think the children need to be on an equal footing. The worst thing would be when children get into tassels with each other and both are upset. Even if the nanny does everything she possibly can to be impartial and fair, one child will have their own mother there and one child won't. Yours will be the child hearing "she's not your mammy, she's my mammy".

That would bother me. I can't see how it could be avoided.

Sounds wonderful, a friend for your son and you're supporting a working mother. This could be something really special, I hope it works out for you.