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Original poster

Au pair meals

56 replies

katieks · 22/11/2016 22:10

Just asking for some opinions please.

We have a new au pair. Everything seems to be going well, but there's a slight issue about meals. In our job advert, I put that the au pair can eat meals with us and I put examples of what we eat as well (having had previous au pairs who made smoked salmon risotto for lunch, etc, when we ate our cheese sandwiches!). I put that it would be fine for au pair to cook her own meals if she preferred but that she would then be expected to buy her own food if it wasn't something that we usually ate/bought.

So to the new au pair - she is a vegan and eats organic food. We eat meat and buy almost everything from Lidl/Aldi and non-organic. She's asked whether she can give me a list of organic food things that I need to buy from the local health-type shop. I objected about buying organic things as they cost more and said she could have as much fruit and veg from normal stuff that we buy. We've never bought organic as it costs more and we buy 'standard' fruits, eg. we buy apples, oranges, bananas rather than cranberries and kiwis. She pointed out that as she didn't eat meat, what we saved with that would be equivalent to what she required spending on organic and unusual foods/fruits/nuts.

She has a point in a way, but I am worried about this becoming very expensive. It's Tuesday and we're almost through our usual weekly fruit supply because of her smoothies. I asked her to give me the list and I'd have a look at how much things were. What do others think? What would be a good compromise? I know part of the deal is free board and lodging but I did specifically list examples eg, cereal/toast for breakfast, sandwiches/noodles/soups for lunch, then typical (by UK standards) evening meals. I knew she was vegan before she started, but I figured if she wanted tofu, etc. then she would buy it herself as it wasn't something we usually ate and the role advert was clear on that. We didn't specifically discuss who would pay for non-standard (in our household) foods at interview.

Just in case - NO offence intended to anyone who might take any - I have nothing against organic/vegan/religious/atheist/etc/etc. people.

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anotherbloodycyclist · 22/11/2016 22:39

Could you give her an allowance to buy the extra food, say an extra £10 or £15 on top of your groceries. It's then up to her whether she spends it on organic fruit or tofu, and caps what you spend each week if you are worried about the expense.
I had different experiences with all my au pairs, from one who ate like a sparrow to the one who added £50 a week to the grocery bill through sheer volume of food and an insistence on 2 large cooked dinners a day. I was happy to suck up the extra cost, but did get pissed off when all the treats/exotic fruit/nice juice etc had gone 2 days into the week and we were left with water and apples!

FattieDoc · 22/11/2016 22:31

Having had au pairs I make it clear that there is a budget per week that I can afford ( most people have s budget) and that has to do. I would buy extra vegetables and tofu( it's cheap anyway) but I not buy at any fancy health food shop for her alone. ( unless I shopped there as well- which I don't as too expensive).
can you give her an extra £5-10 pounds to cover her food shopping?? If not - then just say so and be blunt bout it.

I know it's difficult- but it's better to fort out now rather than later!

Thingywhatsit · 22/11/2016 22:30

Not very helpful but I would give her some veg seeds and point her in the direction of the garden if she wants organic stuff!!! 😮😮😮😮😮

It's surely a bit of give and take, and you want her to be happy, as she is looking after your kids. She needs to accept that maybe she can't have everything organic, but you will supply her with more fruit for her smoothie habit and so on..... Or get her to watch that eat well for less programme that was on a while back when the single mother had an organic everything habit..

Mistletoekids · 22/11/2016 22:28

You don't have to buy it from health food shop if you're worried re the cost. Sainsburys and even Lidl (much more limited) stock organic stuff. Even in waitrose it's not bad-£2.15 for a bag of sweet potatoes . She could have one of those jacket for lunch each day not exactly crazy cost. As she said, meat is much more £££

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 22/11/2016 22:24

You have a person living in your home, presumably taking care of your children in some capacity and you can't get even buy her a block of bloody tofu?

I think you need to reconsider, obviously your au pair shouldn't be costing you crazy amounts for food - but an organic vegan diet doesn't cost that much so you should be providing her food that she can eat without compromising her beliefs or health.

OVienna · 22/11/2016 22:23

No I wouldn't buy all her groceries from the health food store. But I would buy her extra veg and tofu. Regular veg from the stores where you usually shop though. I am always curious when people think taking a job which requires living as part of a family you don't know is compatible with things like rigid and rather niche eating habits. I would personally find it hard trying to impose this.