Au pair meals

Next time, don't choose anyone with special dietary requirements.

How did you get on OP? My family has been egg/dairy free for a while due to allergies, but not vegan so we are obviously okay on the protein front. But we have had a few vegan meals as a result. There's a GoodFood vegan cookbook that's good.

I would think she could do some nice stews and things relatively cheaply if willing. Do you have a slow cooker? The no sugar thing makes it difficult.

What a pain. I would get a new AuPair. She sound too much hassle. We only go for I eat everything Au Pairs. We provide breakfast and evening meal which they cook for them and the children. They have input into the menu which is planned weekly so if they dislike cauliflower or something we just plan for them to make an alternative. We give our au pairs £20 a week extra to buy their own lunch and snacks. In their room they have their own fridge.

We had a vegetarian AP for 10 months - not vegan and happy with non-organic, although we do buy some organic anyway.

We made sure we had more cheese and eggs and veg than normal, she bought a lot of her own stuff too though. We ate things like vegetarian chilli and vegetarian curries more often.

But specialized foods were her own responsibility.

Aldi and Lidl have good ranges of organic fruit and veg which is really not much more expensive than non-organic. Lots of nuts and seeds are now available in supermarkets.

Perhaps get her to come with you doing the food shopping this week, to see what is available here as opposed to at her own home, and to get a better idea of the quantities you need to take account of her needs. But also, it's a balance of compromises needed - you have a budget which needs to include feeding the AP and which has covered feeding previous APs, and she also has a different diet that needs some levels of accommodation by you.

Did you know she was vegan and likes organic stuff only ?

I think eating with you as a family and buying her some extra non organic fruit and tofu is a compromise

She shouldn't have to buy her own food but if he eating habits aren't the same as your famillies you need to think what to do for the next year or how long her contract is for

I think you need to get a different au pair.

Unless she is happy to take over all the cooking?? Or is that bad?

The no sugar thing is harder than the the vegan thing I think! That rules out things like Thai curry paste etc

Doglikeafox it might be a belief instead of a lifestyle choice but OP is not saying au pair can't be vegan, she just doesn't want to fund someone's beliefs as such which is additional to the family budget/shopping habits. Beliefs are personal, why should they/do they automatically trump everyone else's belief system? There's not a hierarchy of beliefs we all have to adhere to.

There can be a meeting in the middle, but I am firmly of the opinion that compromise should happen on both sides instead of one bending to beliefs (or lifestyle choices) when it's out of step with their norms.

X posts.

Why not say you'll trial giving her the £30 and revise if it's working after 4 weeks, in terms of whether it's enough or if she's still eating a significant proportion of the household staples on top of her £30 food allowance.

If she's competent, doesn't take the mickey re things like phone use etc and nice with the kids, it's probably cheaper and easier to try and work out the food stuff with her in the long run than lock horns over it and then go through the bother of hiring someone else.

JennyPocket: I agree with you on this. The OP hired her on the basis that she would eat with the family, so there is no obligation to buy her specific fruits and veg that they don't eat themselves.

Give her an extra £15 or £20 per week to buy her own additional stuff. It is no more than it would cost for her portion of "ordinary" foods that you eat. Also give her own shelf in fridge.

Although it would irritate me, not the vegan element but the fact she is seemingly not compromising or recognising the fact that her diet is out of step with the family.

There's nothing wrong with you eating apples and bananas etc instead of kiwis and cranberries, as some other posters have suggested. You don't have to take her eating habits on board as part of any "experience", she's there to look after the kids. If you want to then all well and good but that's like asking her to eat spaghetti bol because it's part of her "experience".

*fund

I think she's being quite cheeky tbh. She could not possibly have assumed you were vegan when you hired her and she was hired on the basis she would eat meals with the family. I know I could add an additional adult to our basic household food budget without spending an extra £30 a week; what I couldn't do is add an additional adult who wanted to eat completely separate foods to us. But that's surely not your problem in its entirety and some of the cost should be coming out of her pocket, not yours. I would compromise at £20. She can find the expensive stuff herself.

"Not sure whether it matters if what the op is offering is comparable to France! "

Well it matters if the au pair is well treated to begin with. People are saying that au paris are paid, but they usually only get an allowance.

I think OP is being a bit narrow minded and the au pair's food is probably healthier, but I also think that 30 pounds is more than enough for food for a week. Doesn't that work out at 1.40 a meal including breakfasts? Or have I missed something (my maths isn't great).

Not sure whether it matters if what the op is offering is comparable to France! It isn't as strictly surveyed here, and everyone has slightly different arrangements but the point is if you are totally clear at the outset on everything (pay/perks/hours etc) then there are no surprises for either party. The point is if she was clear in her ad about the arrangement then it's a bit late to be renegotiating. I think that £30 won't cover it, and would stick with giving an extra top up each week. Otherwise you are looking at a hefty add-on to your grocery bill each month, and setting a precedent for all sorts of renegotiation.

Money aside, will it not be a pita having someone cook again every night? I like to cook one meal than get the kitchen tidied up.

Wanting to cook and eat separately would be a deal breaker for me. Part of the au pair deal is that they eat family meals with you.

I would take her to Aldi and let he add £10 or so of special/extras to your shop.

Actually, vegan/gluten free/paleo/dairy allergy etc would mean I wouldn't hire them.

I'm in France and the au pair thing is really strictly surveyed.
So I pay the minimum of 264€/ month. But on top I pay:
A years worth of French lessons at the University,
a flat,
a mobile phone,
they have use of a car plus diesel (they pay for their own sight seeing, but I pay for everyone if it's a day out),
a credit card to get what they/we need without asking but giving me all receipts. (Im notified immediately of all expenditure on that account so could block if necessary).
They eat with us, but if they don't I'd give 40€ per person.
They are allowed to work up to 20 hours a week, must have 2 days off and aren't allowed to look after children under 2 unsupervised.

So OP is what you are offering comparable?

I think if she's totally catering for herself £30 isn't very generous. But if it's all you can afford it's just doable on non organic. The thing is being vegan is quite restrictive already and unless she is an adequate cook she will struggle even more on a tight budget. But it's all a learning curve.

You do need to talk to her about it though. Unhappy campers in your home are a PIA.

No au pairs are paid. OP hasn't said what she's getting though.

She's working for free right? If so an extra 30-50 pw for expenses is ok

I think it's unrealistically low.

I think £30 is fine if she's not eating your food too - surely everyone spends about £30 per adult a week?

We spend about 90 for two of us so I think 30 is really good!

I would say no to this if you were definitely as clear in your ad as you say you were in the OP. (I don't mean to sound aggressive.)

I agree that if you took the point of spelling out your expectations, and she has clearly come to stay with you thinking those were optional, that's not on. Stuff like that drives me mad.

I would explain to her what a previous poster said, that in order to meet your weekly budget expectations you need to be working her into your meal plan for the most part, not catering for her entirely separately. £30 is a weird figure - it's not enough to feed an adult for a week. She won't be able to cater for herself on this budget. So, what will end up happening, I venture, is that she will be using ingredients that you also need for your own meals, plus her food allowance. In reality, I believe this means your budget will go up by £50 or more per week. I think you will be looking at a couple of hundred onto your food bill more per month.