Should I tell my nanny not to bring people to my house

She actually used to do an activity Tue mornings that DC2 really enjoys and that seems to have stopped in favour of these meet ups, which is a shame

I can't believe that your nanny stops taking your DC to an activity in order to have her mates over and all you think is, it's "shame". You're being taking for a fool.

Am I missing something? Why do they always come to your house? Why isn't it once to each of the houses, perhaps twice a week - that means you get invaded once a fortnight and have a lovely calm clean house 3 other days a fortnight and the dc and the Nannies still get to meet up regularly ?

Well, apart from having to get builders in to mend the wall and moving heavy furniture around after, of course.

And there is the insurance thing again...

Oh I'd be v pissed off if activities were stopped to facilitate the play dates. I set the activities. That is your prerogative. I allow one day free of stuff because it's nice not to have to run around all the time but I can see why you are annoyed.

I agree with everyone else. Seems a bit of a piss take so often with so much damage.
I'd also want to know who the other people are and if they've had checks done, insurance if in my house all day with my kids. Don't assume the other employers have done these.
Also around here some nanny / childminder groups run which means the mess is somewhere else like a children's centre.

she shouldn't be mortified at not being able to host all day gatherings at your home, she should be mortified at the damage caused and the gross over-stepping of personal boundaries (putting a strange child to sleep in your DD's bed??).

Am I missing something? Why do they always come to your house? Why isn't it once to each of the houses, perhaps twice a week - that means you get invaded once a fortnight and have a lovely calm clean house 3 other days a fortnight and the dc and the Nannies still get to meet up regularly ?

Meet ups need to be restricted at your home, it's not a public place.
Your home is going to be so grubby with all those young children hanging out there.
Suggest they have their meet ups in the park or coffee shop, or at one of the activity groups, they could organise to go to together.

Crikey! I read the title and thought YWBU but then I read the OP! Bed use, moving furniture and wrecking things is absolutely not acceptable!

Our nanny has playdates at ours once or twice a week and I am fine with that. I think it's nice that she gets to socialise and our daughter does too. But other than the odd ripped page in a book, no damage is caused and they don't seem to go beyond the common areas of the house.

Occasional play date fine. I used to have my NCT group round for most of the day so it's just the nanny equivalent I guess.

But moving furniture and not putting it back is disrespectful (and lazy).

A child using your DD's bed is out of order. If the child needed a nap she should have been taken home.

I'd be very annoyed about the wall. I wouldn't make her pay for it, but I'd strongly state that this was unacceptable. Why did they even need to touch the curtains?

This child was unsupervised in your home to the extent that the curtain rail wS pulled down.
The nanny of that child wouldn't be welcome in my hoMe again.
All day get togethers at my house would stop.
I would ask my nanny how she plans to organise repairs and how they will be paid for e.g via the insurance of the nanny whose charge caused the damage.
I would not be paying for this repair myself.
I would let nanny sweat in that for a bit. Tell her you will be home early tomorrow to hear her proposals for repair of the damage.

I imagine your nanny is friends with the others in the group and it is more a social event for her.
I think it is unrealistic to say no more playdates as your own DC may actually want their friends round at some point.
If you said no more than one other nanny at a time this would break up the routine of the group going from one house to another for an easy day.
Plus naps and furniture moving is overstepping the boundaries and needs to be stopped.

This is totally unacceptable IMO. I have had several nannies and none would have done this.
I did allow occasional play dates, but only if I already knew the families involved, and on each occasion my nanny would check it was ok with me in advance. I don't want strangers in my house!
As for the rest, totally out of order.

I'd also want to know exactly how the curtain rail was ripped out of the wall given that you reasonably thought it was securely fitted - it's not a normal thing to do.
I'd probably initially pitch it as being worried about the other Windows having similar problems and want to test out what happened but I'd suspect that it was the young child that was sleeping in there waking up and trying to open them and sort of climbing on them that initiated the problem - which leads back to were the DC being supervised enough and why should you have to pay for it??!!??

I don't mind this as a once a week/fortnight thing but it's polite to ask before having other kids in bedrooms. I've specifically okayed this but I know most of the other nannys/kids from mat leave and I have 3 under 5 and nanny walks everywhere with them as doesn't drive so actually it's nice for them to stay at home but have company. If she hasn't at least offered to pay for the damage (I wouldn't accept but it should. E offered) then I'd be pretty

I don't have a nanny and have no experience, but think I'd be most cross about the food & drink consumed by multiple people that I'd then have to replace!

Do you know any of the other nannys' families?

As Ihatched said would be highly suspicious of just how much care she is giving your DCs.

Agree with the others - tell her it's not on. Occasional play dates with one other child / nanny would be fine, but not groups & certainly no moving of furniture or naps etc. If children need a nap, they should be taken to their own home.

Also, as a pp pointed out, I doubt she's engaging with your DC very much whilst entertaining friends.

I think your being walked over. There's absolutely no way a professional nanny would think that it's ok to have friends over for an entire day.

As for moving the furniture, letting another child sleep in your DC bed and fixtures being ripped out of walls, well frankly she's taking the piss. And this is just the stuff you know about...