i dismissed my nanny for stealing, now she wants a reference.

I would ignore the request. If you give her no reference or a bad reference she won't get the job, so those actions are only for if you believe no-one should employ her.

What "proof" do you have? Even clear video evidence could be dismissed in court if she said she had permission to take something or thar she put it back later.

I would say "I do not feel able to give X a reference but can confirm that she started to work for me on [date] and was dismissed from this employment on [date].

Just stating the dates is insufficient as some busy agencies will just accept that without questioning why there is no detail.

Keep it factual
State she was employed from date to date as job title and was dismissed for gross misconduct without giving any details

Karma has a way of creeping up on people and biting them on the backside

I can't believe she gave your details for a reference. Is she not very bright?

It's absolutely not true that you can't give a bad reference. References have to be factual. If you have proof she stole, you can say you dismissed her for theft, and if she challenges you have your proof.

Or you can decline to give a reference, but you mustn't lie and say she was fine because you have a duty of care to her future employers.

Damn cheeky putting you down as a referee in the circumstance.....if it were me, I'd tell the agency that you caught her stealing and dismissed her.

If you're not happy to do that, just tell the agency you dismissed her for reasons you're not able to disclose and you are not willing to provide a reference.

Thanks tigger! Good job I never have to give a reference!

It's or untrue to say she was dismissed for gross misconduct as long as you followed proper procedure.

If you had proof why didn't you prosecute?

True pepsi.

Also thinking about it OP said she would not provide a reference. Best just to stick to what was said before. I would imagine that the refusal of your most recent employers to provide a reference would speak volumes for most employers and agencies.

I think your better off refusing to give a reference, you tell the agency why you are refusing.

You could open a legal can of worms giving the reason on paper if you haven't prosecuted. I would think this is better off avoided.

Visit would go with

Unfortunately we are unable to give a reference to X as discussed with her previously.

That's not true, seenoevil. It's illegal to give an untrue reference. If it's true and you can back it up then it's fine.

I thought is was illegal to give a bad reference? Or is that when it comes to giving it directly to a future employer?

"I am not prepared to offer a reference for Miss X"

Unless the theft was backed with legal action I would avoid mentioning it.

I think the best bet is to decline to provide a reference. That should be damning enough for any subsequent employer.

Refuse to give her a reference as you are not prepared to recommend her; that sends a very clear message without you having to be specific about the reasons, and the burden of proof.

I worked for an American Company who gave everyone X employee the same reference. What you do is; , write her a 'Statement of Employment' which is basically:

Statement of Employment
Date
X worked for me as a Nanny from X date to y date.
Signed Ms. Birdie2Shoes
Tel;

Most prospective employers will contact you directly if they want to know more. Be careful how you phrase it but you can make it clear (without leaving yourself open to legal action)

She stole money?? no doubt I would tell, if not she could go on and do it to whoever employs her next.

I'd say, "Oh I'd love to give a reference! Could you ask them to call me?" and then I'd tell the truth about the theft.

What did she steal?

Do you have proof she stole from you?

If not give a reference along the lines of "whilst I can not confirm nor deny that "nanny" is a possible petty criminal, many items/belongings/money went missing in my household during her time here. Perhaps it was a coincidence?"

They will get it and you've not slandered her.

Personally I wouldn't want to get into it.
I'd tell the agency that you don't wish to provide a reference and you'd already told ex-nanny this and leave it to them to figure out why.