Nanny eating all our food including specialist food for my diet - what do I do?

We've had a similar issues in the past with all the children's lunch box kids juices being drunk and a special (large) pot of 'luxury jam' being eaten single handed in a week. Also had a huge fruit juice carton of freshly squeezed drunk in one day and someone who demanded daily soft fruit be purchased for her which I found quite amusing!

My approach is that any food issues that arise are my fault as I haven't been clear enough at the start. We eat exactly what they eat and I wouldn't be happy to buy lesser food for them.

Now when I have a new starter I say please don't drink any of the kids' lunchbox juice cartons and I've learned by my mistakes and I don't buy stuff I can't cope with people eating fast! For the jam eating situation I switched down to a nice own brand and we all ate that.

Rugby me too... there are all sorts of ... erm ... "alternative" health gurus on the internet and selling self help books who convince people with chronic health conditions can be treated with an organic diet (with 957 special foods and tweeks so that you have to buy their book or whatever to follow their plan) ... and people do buy into that when they aren't getting much joy from conventional medicine...

Pulls up a chair.

Didn't we have this exact same thread a few months ago?

TBH I find it odd that OP eats organic food etc and yet doesn't appear to give her child/ren the same.

One of my best friends is a live in nanny and she has various horror stories of having employers like OP.

It really isn't OK to buy basics like fruit and veg and say nanny can't eat them when her remuneration includes all food.

Nor is it OK to say "we have the lovely organic stuff, and here's some Tesco basics for you"

Have you talked to her about it?

A live in nanny lives as a member of the household, so unless you have been clear and specific about special separate arrangements she isn't behaving strangely at all helping herself to apples and nuts! Is it obvious that the chocolate and special food is your personal stash or is it just in a cupboard like family communal food?

I would not expect a nanny to know that the organic food is for you only, especially apples which are normally communal - that is a very unusual arrangement which an outsider would be surprised by unless they knew your reasons (it's pretty hard for only one family member to eat organically unless you cook entirely separately).

Talk to her, and give her her own cupboard and fridge shelf and stock them. If you said you'd provide food as part of her compensation you can't only buy basics though, you'd have to change the compensation package and pay more or buy everything.

This is why I couldn't live with a nanny

LOL

Mushing up fruit and guzzling chocolate is hardly a 'health kick'

Is this person suited to care for kids?

Amazing! 😂 because obviously avid fruit and chocolate eaters can't be trusted with kids! 😂😂

OP, you can't put "whole other thread" - put it in this one.

You can be quite pleasant and matter of fact; "please help yourself to anything on these two shelves in the fridge. Don't take anything from the to shelf because i need it for lunch boxes / my special diet."

This. No need for awkwardness. "I have X condition, and need to make sure I have plenty of Y and Z to eat. The things on the top shelf / right-most cupboards are for me only; help yourself to anything else."

Mushing up fruit and guzzling chocolate is hardly a 'health kick'.

Is this person suited to care for kids?

Wasnt there a thread a while back about a nanny eating her employers £8 crackers?

I dont think I could buy organic for myself and not for the rest of the family. Why does your dp not contribute? Does he live with you? Surely if he is not working he could be looking after the dc so you wouldnt need a nanny?

Is there a possibility of having a small fridge separately to put your organic/special dietary food in? Then just tell her that the small fridge is off limits as it contains your food for your medical condition.

Organic as a medical need

Dump the bloke, that's all I can add to this.

Yes I remember that one, NN!

You have to be crystal clear about what is acceptable, OP. Seething resentment is not a good start to the relationship. A labelled shelf is good. Tell her that the fruit for the rest of the family (including her) is for everyone and has to last the whole week.

You are not the first person to post on here about the shocking amounts of food their new nanny or AP is getting through but the only way to deal with it is to have a very frank conversation.

Anyone else remembering the thread with the really expensive pink salt crackers?

Anyway, why is your partner not contributing?

I agree about having the labelled shelves

Agree that juicing can get very expensive since you use such large quantities of fruit and veg that you would never normally eat. Is that the main thing that she's using? If so I would ask her to contribute, or say you'll provide fruit/ veg for juicing on her work days only.

Why is your partner not contributing anything?

Labelled shelves.
Top shelf- Gustawind's stuff. Hands off!
Middle two shelves - Family and nanny. Tuck in!
Bottom shelf (empty) - For partner. Go and buy your own stuff Cocklodger!

What diet insists that someone eats organic foods whilst the rest of the family have to make do with the rest of the regular foods with pesticides etc on it .
The problem here is not your Nanny its your husband that's not contributing.

I can see this is potentially a real issue when you have someone living in and have stipulated that you will provide food. One persons reasonable daily intake of food against another will vary wildly.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all to be horrified that your Nanny is blending all sorts of expensive stuff into juices. I've gone these juice diets myself and man it can get expensive as you are blitzing up large quantities of food that you would never manage to 'eat'.

You've got to sit down and just talk to her (I notice no one ever wants to do that on these threads). You don't have to be nasty, you can just say that when you offered food as part of the wage you had a certain idea in your head of perhaps breakfast/lunch/dinner and two snacks. What has ended up happening is that the weekly shop is gone in two days and part of that food is bought particularly for your health condition. Then apologise for not being clear and work to resolve the issue.

Perhaps she can instead have an agreed weekly food budget or perhaps you can keep one cupboard that is just for your specialist foods. I know in her position I would be initially embarrassed but then keen to make sure everyone was happy.

If you haven't made it clear to her that certain foods are yours only, how is she to know? I don't know what you mean by 'speciality foods' but if that's what's in the fridge, that's what she's going to eat.

But you can't suggest she buys her own food - you're providing board and lodgings as part of the job - that means food.

Wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start!