Having an issue with my nanny - anyone have any ideas/input?

Oh my god. I would have called the police if my nanny disappeared with my baby for 5 hours. Get rid. Now

My first nanny left when ds1 was 14 months old (she went to help her parents run their business). Ds1 was absolutely fine - no problems at all.

Trust is more than just knowing someone won't hurt your child.
Ask the au pair what the nanny gets up to. Even if she isn't here they must talk to each other.

PS not meaning to scare monger with the 'proper care' comment - was in ref to being out in freezing weather with chest infection.

I was a nanny for 15 years.

Likely scenario: she is taking your baby to her home whilst she does her housework or watches Jeremy Kyle (am making huge assumptions here but lets just assume she's not watching tapes of Newsnight and Question Time )

She's not making the lists/keeping on top of your household stuff because she's never in your house. Does she get on ok with the au pair - is there a jostle for who's in charge of whom?

She doesn't answer her mobile because she doesn't want background noise to give away where she is, or feels like you're checking up on her because you don't trust her (like, duh.)

Get rid. You will find another nanny who will love your baby so much she will actually take good care of him.

For what it's worth, your job sounds like a good one: I had 5 kids (from 2 families), 2 at full time school, one at nursery and two at home at one point without an au pair and I was NOT supernanny.

The Lady. It's out now in all good newsagents. A shit read, frankly, but get an ad in pdq.

Being a good nanny is not just about getting on with the children in your care. You have to be able to organise your day within the guidelines that your bosses set out. The duties that you want her to do don't seem too hard in my opinion and she certainly shouldn't be bringing her chaotic personal life into work with her. You are paying her to be at your house looking after your children not going home and doing her housework. Going for a walk and doing the odd personal errand is one thing but actually going home? She obviously has no respect for you and your husband and lies about what she has been doing so the trust has been lost on your side and the one thing you need when you employ a nanny is to trust her 100%. Sack her and employ someone who listens to your wishes and earns her salary.

I am tempted to say 'Get a grip, love.'

"I dont trust her anymore. I don't know where she is going in the day and am worried that baby is at her house and "involveed"" with her friends and chaotic home life."

There will be more devils.

Other nany's will adore your baby.

Get The Lady magazine bought and agencies rung!!

If you are in Kent I know someone who is fab!!

You don't trust her. Isn't that your answer?

Babies get used to change surprisingly easy. Unless you will keep her until the baby is 16 then you will have to change child care at some point anyway.

Too many reasons to list why but she has to go!!

She has to go. sorry but she does. You HAVE to be able to trust her with your child. I fmy nanny was out of contact for 5 hours with my 19th month old Ds I would go ballistic

I am less bothered about the lists/veg prep stuff TBH. My nanny is a bit scatty and needs very specific directuion about what to do, what to buy. But I trusther 110% with DD and since I am away for 10 hours a day this is important.

She has to go. sorry but she does. You HAVE to be able to trust her with your child. I fmy nanny was out of contact for 5 hours with my 19th month old Ds I would go ballistic

I am less bothered about the lists/veg prep stuff TBH. My nanny is a bit scatty and needs very specific directuion about what to do, what to buy. But I trusther 110% with DD and since I am away for 10 hours a day this is important.

She sounds awful! I'd tell her to go, it sounds like she has absolutely no respect for you as her employers at all.
Does your LO know the au pair well? Maybe she could help out until you settle in a replacement?

Your baby was missing for 5 hours.

You don't trust her.

She doesn't actually carry out most of her duties.

Get rid of her. Yes - it will be hard. But your baby WILL adjust.

Get rid.
She is taking piss.
Your baby will be FINE.

I would definitely replace her. I am sure you can find someone as good who is more organised. If you have specifically asked her to do something, then I don't think there is any excuse. But to be honest, the disappearing thing alone would do it for me... If someone is in charge of your child, they should be contactable at all times. Who knows where she is and, moreover, who else your child is with??

I dont trust her anymore.

Sorry, but there's your answer. She has to go.