Au pair took drugs. WWYD?

if she was sensible and honest she wouldn't have taken sone pull.off sone random girl/guy in a pub having been taught in primary school.it could kill her.

unless of course she knew the person she bought it from and trusted them...

which means she's probably taken stuff befire as why else he friends with a drug dealer. ..

She does sound like a generally sensible and honest girl and it's unlikely she'd be doing this again. I would definitely give her another chance with some warning and keeping an eye on her. I don't think she is putting your children at risk.

She seemed to be being honest because she admitted that she smokes cannabis sometimes with friends and that she drinks a lot at parties but that until last night she never tried anything more

You leave this person responsible for you children? Wow... At 19 I had my own business and was a full time CM. I wonder if I smoked cannabis and did the occasional E on the weekend if I'd still have a licence. I'm sure Ofsted and SS would be fine with that, being young and stupid and all!

I can't believe some people's standards on MN.. The occasional E and cannabis use is fine the night before looking after children, But a mother leaving a child in a locked car for 5 mins should be reported to SS.

Crazy!

Why so sure she won't repeat?

she could have been taking it fir years and the only reason anyone found out is cos she reacted to this one.

She give you just enough info for you to back off. Honestly I wouldn't believe a word she says.

This is not your issue.
She is not your child
She is your employee who looks after your babies.

Teenage girls are amazing liars,teenage girls that take drugs are even better.

How could you ever trust her again?

Deal breaker for me.

I'd cut her some slack. She's incredibly unlikely to repeat the experience and you can have a chat about your expectations when she's got the kids the next day.

I'd think ending up in hospital is a pretty big wake up call personally. I do appreciate my stance on drugs, like being fat, isn't one share by many in MN

I think only you can make this call as you know her personally. I hate drugs soooo much but she made a stupid decision in her free time , it wasn't like she was putting your family at risk. If she's really a good girl and also mature enough to accept she made a mistake (not normalising it) then I'd be inclined to keep her on. Go with your gut feeling, if you feel abit iffy then let her go.

I should imagine she'll never do it again. She must be scared to death about what might have happened

You would think so but that's not always the case.

I would give her another chance, it's not like you found her smoking crack in the sandpit. If she hadn't had a fit you never would have known, some people are good at being human again after big nights out (especially teenagers, what I'd give for all that energy again!). Has she ever seemed strange on a Sunday?

The AP is an adult: OP can't go meddling by telling her family!

I would find it very hard to regain trust after that.

I wouldn't do it myself either, but then these days I get a hangover just from eating a spicy curry! Is it different to looking after kids with a hangover, cold, little sleep etc? Would be tougher but wouldn't seem actually dangerous to me.

Nope she wouldn't be coming back.

These are your children your talking about.

I used to take E a lot and the come down can last days. Low mood, depression. I nearly crashed my car once the day after a night on on it because my head was all over the show.

You don't know if she has ever had them in the house. Accidents happen, tablets can fall out of pockets on to floors. Tablets get eaten and then it's the SS meeting you at the hospital - asking if you knew she had taken tablets before.

It might be her first time, it might not be - but losing her job could be the shock she needs to think 'what the fuck did I do'. It might not be.

What if you got a call saying she was in hospital through smoking heroin?

Or had a bad LSD trip?

She could get the sack from an office or any other place of work so don't second chance with your babies. She took a stupid risk - you don't want risk takers around your kids.

I took pills when I was younger, I would not have employed me to walk a dog the day after.

I should imagine she'll never do it again. She must be scared to death about what might have happened.

I would talk to her, agree a way forward and move on. An au pair is supposed to be a member of your family. Treat her like one.

If you like her, she's a good au pair and you don't think it will happen again then I'd give her another chance.

Good au pairs are hard to find.

The only thing that would worry me would be if the drug taking had caused some damage that might lead to her having another fit but this time while in charge of the children. So I'd double check that first.

This is unacceptable. If you keep her, you are condoning it.

Whilst I have sympathy for the young person, I am concerned about her having care of your children.

Um.... do her nearest and dearest know? I think I would be very worried if my DD was half way round the world and had to go to A&E. I know she is an adult but you are understandably worrying about your children but she is someones child also. As you employ her as an au pair you do have a duty of care. It might be that a conversation with her parents could straighten things out.

I suspect this won't have been the first time she's taken it whilst she's been with you. I don't know it's a tough call on the one hand your only concern should be your children but I do feel a bit sorry for her. Hopefully it's scared the shit out of her and she won't do it again. On the other hand sending her away may help reinforce the message that her poor judgment has serious consequences.

If she is as good as you say I
would forgive her.

She had a lucky escape & will probably be giving nights out a miss for a long time.

Would you worry about her drinking alcohol around the children or the children finding alcohol in her room? Probably not but you know she drinks when she goes out. It's not that unusual for people her age to experiment while they're out but it doesn't mean they are regular users, would have drugs of their own at home. And far less likely that they would get drugs brought to your home.

If she had a fit it could be the first (and probably last) time she would ever take it. It would be a shame to lose a good au pair if that was the case. And for her to lose her job. I expect she's had a pretty big scare. I would give her another chance.

I'd let it go, its just ecstasy. I assume she is apologetic though. But she probably would have been fine by 3pm

She may be lovely, but can you really trust her again with your children?