Au pair took drugs. WWYD?

Lou i am a primary teacher and i know several teachers who do drugs recreationally at the weekends ( and on staff nights out ). Its very naive to think otherwise!! I promise you, in pretty much every school, there will be some teachers and TA's who do drugs (outside of work obvs). Its just part of life.

Lots of opinion but you are the one whose kids she is caring for.

If she has given you no other causes for concern and you believe it genunely was the first time she tried it and it really was a massive wake up call for her then it's very different to someone claiming it's no big deal.

Listen to your gut.

Dutch I don't know where you are getting your info but you won't be sacked for taking one e on your night off!

I'd give her a second chance. Especially as you've taken it yourself.

Dutch i think it does effect everyone differently. I am very small and slight and all drugs and alcohol effect me a great deal. Other people might be ok to work / drive / look after kids the next day, but i never was.

At 19 years old, i would suggest that she perhaps didnt realise how it would effect her, just thought it'd make her a bit high like cannabis. As the OP genuinely likes and trusts her then i would give her 1 more chance. Just my opinion, obvs not everyone would handle the situation in the same way.

snowy508601

I couldn't agree more! If you want to work with children you don't do drugs.. Disgusting, irresponsible behaviour!

I am honestly gob smacked some people would give her another chance...

Would any of you mums really be happy with your nanny, teacher or anyone looking after your children taking E pills on a Sunday night before work, Really?

Ok but would you be happy employing some one who took E to have your kids the next day.

I just don't get why people are willing to take the risk. If she worked in a nursary setting she would be sacked!

I'm just waiting for the 'I've done a risk assesment and I've deemed it safe"

No Way drugs are a deal breaker where working with childen is concerned

Affects everyone differently Dutch. I never felt anything but a bit tired the next day.

I never knew any dealers either.

hollie so if you wouldn't have been able to look after kids why do you think the AP would? Safely.

I can see that you are in a difficult position.

It seems it was a stupid mistake, and I'm afraid you will have to decide you trust her enough to trust her not to do it again or not. You are the one who knows her best.
If this was the only negative thing about her and she has never been hungover while looking after your kids, I might give her the benefit of the doubt.
But the overall picture of heavy drinking, cannabis and now extasy to the extent of a trip to hospital might make me wonder and worry every time she went out, as well as when she was taking care of the children after such nights out.
Will you be able to trust her enough in future?

Torn on this one.

On one hand I can understand her going a bit wild on a night out 'on a strange city and wanting to have fun while she is young.

However- being in the position she is in she should realise the need to be grown up and responsible.

Your children are your most precious posession and I don't think I would trust someone who potentially gives into peer pressure like that which my children.

I would offer her a stellar reference and send her on her way. Maybe give her a couple of weeks to find a new role.

Well luckily op she wasn't off her face that night or on some narky come down!

Why don't you call her bluff?

I would give her another chance, but if it happens again then she's a gone-er.

Mind you, having said that, I have done E a few times and the comedown was usually terrible - no way i could have looked after kids.

If it was me, I'd have a serious talk with her and give her a second chance, but making it very clear that this is last chance saloon.

you can't say she didn't elephant

what if she was driving the chikdren with drugs still in her system.

or she had them in a bag ir in her room.

or she's in the phone arranging pick ups whole she is supposed to be supervising the kids

She isn't liable to do it again. Have a chat, lay ground rules. She probably didn't understand how powerful the drug was - or she may have been told it would just give her a bit of a high.

How would you feel if it had been an excess of alcohol that put her in hospital?

you can't trust her, she's 19 and needs to go home and grow up

elephant have you ever taken an E?

I have lots and the effects last for days

You are asking the question? No way.

I agree with Lou. She's a young adult not a child. She made a massive mistake and she may well be sorry but she isn't your responsibility. Your children are.

Well that is a good thing OP that her parents are in the loop. She was not responsible for your children at the time and would not have been for several hours afterwards. She was a bit silly but did not in anyway put your children in any type of danger. If she had been a nanny you would have not have known

giles I agree. I've had friends that have ended up hospitalised more than once over this.

The admitting to smoking a bit of weed was a flag to me, its admitting a half truth.

op call her bluff. Id tell her your going to do a drugs sample of her hair as drugs stay in your hair for a long time, months. (She will know this) If it's clear you of all drugs (apart from a bit of weed) she can stay. If not and she is lying about it - she will be leaving in the morning"

some pill