Au pair took drugs. WWYD?

While accidental death and violence never happens when illegal drugs are being used Lucy?

Ambernectarine you've no idea whether she will become violent or not and please define 'a bit glum', is this how depression, suicidal thoughts and paranoia are dressed up to you?

Fgs it's about employing people with zero responsibility to look after your most precious offspring.

Not about how many deaths are caused by taking drugs by choice.

If I found out that my (Ofsted Excellence approved) childminders dropped Es on the weekend, I'd be bleep finding new childminders.

Oh 2nds get real. The au pair will not become violent as a result of an E she will, at worst, feel a bit glum and homesick.

She is not a meth dealer. She took a dodgy pill, which will probably put her off for life.

2nds I was relating the accidental death and violence to alcohol

Yes fastwindow I remember Leah betts very well. However I personally know of 15 people in my 34 years who have died because of alcohol. I don't know of one person who has died because of ecstasy. Obviously people do die because of ecstasy but can you imagine if every person who has died because of alcohol was reported in newspapers? There wouldn't be much room for any other news!
I'm not denying drugs can be dangerous but I don't think ecstasy is any more dangerous than alcohol.

If the au pair had only drank alcohol and had a fit would that be ok?

I'm not sure how I'd feel if it were my dc and my au pair, however I would feel the same way whether it be alcohol or illegal drugs.

PPS saying what if she had drugs in her bag that the dc found? What about if she had a bottle of vodka or Bacardi breezer in her bag?

Would you feel differently if she'd just gone out and got really shitfaced or was taking prescription meds like tramadol for a legitimate complaint? Because either of those would render me less capable of caring for kids.

I would let it go, this time, but make it clear you're not impressed. She has had a scary experience, far from home. Give her the chance to redeem herself.

No one is denying what alcohol does. The OP was questioning whether to sack the girl or not based on her taking an illegal drug.
And as for "You are more likely to die from accidental death and violence", both alcohol and illegal drugs are contributing factors to these scenarios. So let's not forget that I can go out and swallow pills on a Saturday and smack someone on a Monday while on a comedown.

lucy back in my day, when E was first invented, it was new and not seen as dangerous. Now, it's acknowledged as a nasty little drug. Leah Betts ring a bell? MDMA is a hard drug. You can't say it isn't.

Alcohol is also an intoxicant. Fact, point noted.

But you haven't addressed the point at hand, would you allow the au pair to look after the dc?

Wow I'm surprised actually no I'm not surprised by the comments here. Do any of you bother to research how many deaths relating to e, cocaine, heroin there are? Why don't you research how many people die after drinking alcohol, the devastation it causes to families and friends.

Fastwindow E really isn't a "hard drug these days" You're more likely to die from alcohol poisoning, accidental death and violence. Are you against alcohol as much as you are Ecstasy?

Oh but it's legal, it must be ok

I wouldn't give her another chance. No sorry here. Not having someone who tries drugs in my house, looking after my dc.

E is a pretty hard drug these days. Not anywhere near as mainstream as it was 20 years ago - and I was against it then. Despite some fairly questionable morals myself.

It's got to be about what kind of person you've got looking after your children - and I wouldn't want someone whose choices are that susceptible after too much drink.

2nds I absolutely would!

I don't believe that 99% of the 'give her another chance' brigade would actually give her another chance if she was their Au Pair.

Tiredness has over come me and I've just creased up at eve post following 2nd - I love that you think that a frank talk could sort this out 😂😂

m.talktofrank.com/

If you trust her & think she's being honest then keep her after a very frank talk

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/straight-as-student-killed-himself-6882501

Killed himself on a comedown from mdma.

Wake up people

Keep her on under the agreement of random drug tests, but I would feel like sacking her myself

Dutchcourage Exactly!

As a PP poster up thread said :-

Leave your kids in car for five mins. Fuck that call the SS

Let your kids beclooked after someone who has taken mind altering drugs recently. Oh yes that's fine - have a heart!

soup it's the after effects that's an issue. Why do some people think that if you take a mind altering drug you will be absolutly straight after a few hours. The come down can last days.

Why don't you just google the after effects and see if you would be ok with that?

A comedown from mdma (e) can take days Soupdragon so yes she may well have been in charge of the kids while still under the effects of the drug.

lynda I'm glad you had good experiences taking drugs - so did I to some extent. But not to the point I would feel happy about my kids taking them OR any one else being employed to look after them. In fact taking E is pretty dangerous that's why there are many help lines to get help. But hey - if you had a good time ....

You right though I can't understand your blazè attitude to it. Just because you don't know about something doesn't mean it's ok, turning a blind eye when it comes to the safety of your kids is madness.

The AP took a risk taking E, whether it was first time or not. I would not want risk takers around my kids. Woukd I want some one that irritable, tired and down looking after my kids? Would I fuck. Would I want some one who could have flash backs because the night before they were pilling their tits off? No. Would I want some one who's head could be mashed the next day they coulldnt focus while in charge of my little children . No.

General handwringing about drugs? If I employ some one to look after my kids I want then straight and sober. End of.

I teach children all day in water, what if one of them drown because I was hungover or on a come down? Grow up FFS.

What if a was still pissed from the night before and smashed my car in to some one or operated machinery and killed some one? Would that be handwringing then?

Or any drug for that matter

The au pair has not taken drugs whilst in care of the children. If she that about it at all, i bet she imagined 15 hours was plenty of time for it to clear in the same way alcohol would have done.

Klaptout this girl took it on more than one occasion, fitting doesn't mean it was the first time she took the drug.
www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/mum-of-teen-who-died-after-taking-ecstasy-urges-others-to-value-your-life-be-aware-407794.html

soup Id put the safety of my kids over any chance of hypocracy. What a bizzare stance!

What is bizarre? It isn't bizarre at all. Just a different view to yours.

All this talk of children finding stuff in her bag/room is OTT given there has never been any kind of hint that this is not a one off. Talk of drug dealers coming round is, frankly, hysterical.

I bet very very few 19 year olds give one single thought to how their hangover or come down will affect them the next day. I certainly gave no thought to how a hangover would have affected my ability to work. The au pair is someone who was trusted enough to spend the night in hospital with one of the children in place of the OP and who has given no prior cause for concern. I would give her a second chance (and anyone who tries to suggest I don't care about or would happily risk my children can bog off)

FWIW, I have never taken any recreational drugs nor smoked cannabis.

Sounds like she's had a big shock as a result of being young and daft. Given that you yourself have insight of this from when you were young, the fact that you say she's a great au pair and you all love her, I'd give her another chance. We've a been young and stupid and it sounds like she feels awful for letting you down. It's not a bad opportunity to use as an example to your children (if they're not too young) on the dangers of drugs. I hope you give her another chance. Good luck!