Au pair took drugs. WWYD?

You sound very reasonable OP, hope handling it all isn't too bad.

I'm a manager in a nursery and every month I have to do supertvisions with my staff and ask them !it's of questions, one being have they taken any illegal substances
So far, everyone has said no. But if they did say yes, then it woyuld be gross misconduct and dismissal
If the au pair had been arrested and charged by the police for illegal possession of drugs she would be looking at an entry on the dBS which she has to declare to her employer
Most people would insist on a clean DBS if they were employing someone to care for their children

Op, think long and hard about this. Personally, I would be looking for a new au pair.

I agree with soupdragon for what it's worth.

I would give her a second chance as well as a stern talking to. I don't think she would be stupid enough to do it again.

Of course, the au pair wasn't actually in charge of anyone whilst coming down on account of her being in hospital. No one but her has been at risk.

Personally I would assume she's learned a valuable lesson.

Bonkers.

If you are going to sack someone for taking one pill you need to sack them if they ever drink too much.

I teach children all day in water, what if one of them drown because I was hungover or on a come down? Grow up FFS.

FFS, there is a huge difference between an au pair and someone responsible for children in water.

Why don't you just google the after effects and see if you would be ok with that?

I have.

I don't believe that 99% of the 'give her another chance' brigade would actually give her another chance if she was their Au Pair.

I absolutely would.

Ecstasy, cannabis, excessive alcohol - she would have to go no matter how lovely she is.

She's actually committed a crime. She's done something illegal and foolish. Of course I would sack her.

Fgs it's about employing people with zero responsibility to look after your most precious offspring.

But she hasn't got 'zero responsibility'. In every single other way, she has proved to be an exemplary au pair. Which means the OP, who knows and otherwise trusts her, is finding this a difficult decision to make (compared with all of us, looking at it in black and white).

I am torn. We have au pairs, and the unifying thing about every single one of them has been how vastly more mature, responsible and grown-up they all are, compared with me at the same age. I find it boggling, quite honestly. I couldn't have taken care of a houseplant in my late teens - whereas the girls we've had live with us are almost like another species.

So for this reason, I would be wary of an au pair who didn't take her responsibilities seriously.

On the other hand, an au pair that you gel with, who loves your kids, and who's a joy to have around the house is priceless.

Tough call OP, and I doubt this thread has helped. Maybe step away and have a think about what's best for your family.

Wow this has gone way off topic

As for employing an au pair who has depression, no idea Amber sorry because surely you know that there are different states of depression, plus it also might depend upon what brought the depression on. So nope not a clue whether I'd employ someone with depression or not.

I would give her another chance. Most of my friends took pills regularly at 19. They weren't a lot of fun the next day but were perfectly capable, responsible adults. For most people e is social not habit forming or behaviour altering. Just talk to her clearly about why you're upset and specify why it can't happen again. This isn't some black stain on her character just a youthful mistake.

lucy yes, because a massive weekend binge drinker wouldn't be the kind of person able to achieve an Outstanding Ofsted report. ... A professional. Which is whom I have employed to look after my dd while I go out and do a job I have to do.

Give her another chance !
I can personally say unless it's an obscene amount all I feel from e the next day is tired, it affects everyone differently.
She fucked up, she's human, a young girl.
You've been told the truth so I would say clean slate one more chance..
If she was a big drug user pulling the wool over your eyes I highly doubt you would have been told the real reason for her being in A&E.

And BTW amber and Lucy you two have missed the point completely, your lovely mdma, the drug that apparently caused you two no harm has landed this 19 year old in hospital so your points about it being harmless is just making you two out to be stupid. She's in fecking hospital, if she was absolutely fine she wouldn't have been in hospital. So the drug isn't as safe as you two are making it out to be.

I am very anti-drugs in my old age and have tried or wanted to try ecstasy, but the normal after-effects of e cannot be that much worse than a hangover, can they?

I would give a second chance OP.

Amber has your drug use clouded your ability to stick to the OP's issue? Congenital heart problems, can you please explain what me employing or not employing someone with heart problems has got to do with a stupid 19 year old girl ending up in hospital through her own stupid fault?

Would you sack an au pair diagnosed with depression then 2nds?

No, I don't know the au pair wouldn't become violent, any more than I know that she wouldn't drop down dead while caring for the children because of an undiagnosed congenital heart problem. My assessment is purely anecdotal; years of taking multiple Es on a Saturday night did not induce anything more sinister than a general feeling of malaise in my friends and me. I was more of a risk to society when pregnant, TBH.

If you think she's being honest about just getting drunk and doing a bit of weed you're sadly misguided I reckon.

She's telling her employer that - no doubt the truth is that as she's done loads of drugs before.

Not many 19 girls tell their employers the truth - I know i didn't, and I looked like butter wouldn't melt!

I'd be looking for another au pair, OP.

Lucybabs you must be a big fan of mdma, good luck with that. The question isn't about alcohol abuse so maybe we could stick to the OP's issue and not veer off and allow you to make out like your choice of illegal drugs are less dangerous than alcohol, which they aren't.

2nds I personally never experienced violent behaviour while around people who were taking ecstasy.Cocaine yes definitely and alcohol absolutely!

Accidental death because of illegal drugs and alcohol yes

Would you find a new childminder if you found out your childminder was binge drinking every weekend fastwindow ? Why are you avoiding the fact that alcohol is just as bad if not worse (because it is so widely accepted) than recreational drugs?