Grandparents taking baby out in car

Agree with previous posts, you can't reasonably expect them not to take DD in the car. However, suggest you have a gentle chat with them re sticking more closely to the routine and mobile on at all times.

You know nothing magically happens at one? It is weird seeing them go out in the car without you for the first time, but it's all part of moving on and growing up. Your dc shouldn't suffer cos of your anxiety. They will be dropping one nap soon anyway.

Maybe she so clingy because she senses your anixeity. I never had a relationship with grandparents they were dead when I was born but I facilitate a relationship on both sides of the family for my DC and they are extremely close for it. I wouldn't dream of dictating routines or preventing them from taking the DC out the youngest is almost 3 months and enjoyed his time with MIL and FIL. What are your DPs thoughts, end of the day it's his parents and just as much his baby. If your really not happy just put your DC in nursery but she won't get the one to one attention and there routines and times may alter from your schedule anyways.

Unfortunately this is the consequences of free childcare. Although the naps would really annoy me you do need to remember how much harder it is to look after a child when you are stuck at home all day. There is no good reason why they can't take her out apart from your anxiety, which is really unfair on your in laws and your DD.

You need to come to a good compromise with them about what you can all live with and if you can't do that, stick her in nursery.
The best thing to do is find a time without DD around and have a really frank conversation with them, work out what things that are bothering you are because of your own issues versus stuff they should do because it really is best for your DD.

It's hard leaving your child elsewhere but you'll undoubtedly find that they don't miss you when you aren't there. My DD used to burst into tears when I collected her because she had forgotten about me all day and then suddenly when she saw me she realised she missed me. After a couple of months that stopped and she now runs away when I collect her because she is to busy having fun to go home.

Reading your post, it seems to me that it is YOU not her that has the separation anxiety. Please try and relax, she is coming to no harm. They are only doing what grandparents do - looking after and loving their grand-daughter. Presumably this is your first baby? It will get easier if you can relax a bit.

This is the cost of free family childcare. You either have to be ok with it (you can still be firm about some things, and they still need to respect your choices on the important stuff or it just won't work) or you need paid childcare.

If you decide to go with the in laws you need to chat properly with them about the important stuff-so, no sweets, or dilute the juice, or whatever, or have your phone handy so I can call you, but I think expecting them to stay at home all day because you don't like the idea of not knowing where dd is won't work.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's the reality of it. Good luck whatever you decide

Will nursery follow your routine and will yoir daughter have separation anxiety there as well? No and yes i'd think
Honestly i see an anxious mum issue here tbh but nursery might be better
What does your partner think?

It's natural to have some anxiety when going back to work and leaving your child, but this seems like an over reaction. Do you not take her out in a car seat? What is it that makes you not want to take her out until she's older? Do you really expect them just to stay in the house?

If you don't have confidence that they will look after your dd in a way that you feel comfortable then perhaps it is not the best plan for them to look after her on a regular basis.
Although there is obviously a cost implication a nursery or childminder will follow your wishes and routines.

It's hard, my parents have my DD twice a week while I work and I was incredibly nervous at first about everything. But a year in, she loves it, they love it and I'm much more relaxed. They don't always conform to my routine, she doesn't always get her screen time (or ice cream time!) limited but you know what, she has so much fun, they go out to nice places, is lavished with love... Better than a nursery while she's been 9 months- 2 in my opinion. She starts at nursery next term and I know that my parents will miss her and she will miss them.

I know it easier for me because they're my parents but I had an honest conversation with my parents early on about my anxiety, keeping their phones to hand etc. In the beginning I was near enough phoning once an hour to check on her. But it gets easier.

So you expect her to stay in with them until she's 1? What exactly is the problem with the car?
If you didn't want them to watch her you shouldn't have agreed to it. What does your DH say about it?

Put her in nursery instead then. It's very unreasonable to expect them and her to stay in all day, how boring!

I this k it would be really unfair on your child or them to stay in all day. My dd would hate it, she'd get proper cabin fever. You need to chill

Ok, you say in your OP that' you'd rather she were in nursery. So put her to nursery.

Heaven forbid that they "do what they want with her" while providing free childcare with their kind hearts (your words) why can't they enjoy their time with their grandchild?

Unless they are shitty drivers or really old and doddery then just be happy that your daughter won't be stuck inside miserable all day. It's in her best interests to get out and experience the world. Where are they likely to go? Parks? Garden centres? Beach? Do you worry about her being lifted in and out or strapped in properly? Do you trust them to drive responsibly?

I understand where you're coming from but you can't know where your child is and what they are doing 100% of the time regardless of who is caring for them. If you're too anxious about it, just say no thank you.