How do I ask my au pair to wash her hair???

I would be super matter of fact about it and buy her some good quality shampoo and conditioner and provide her with a hairdryer. Sit her down and tell her that you expect her to have clean hair at all times when in your home.

I would start by telling her that head lice is rife in British schools and under no circumstances should she use the children's hair brushes.

Where does it say she isn't British?

Greasy hair doesn't just look horrible, it FEELS horrible.

Well stop stroking other people's greasy hair then.
Or do you mean that it feels horrible to the person whose hair it is? In which case it affects nobody but her.

I'm with the handful that think it's none of your business and does not affect your children.

And I cannot believe somebody on here thinks it's acceptable to tell another adult they HAVE to shower every day simply because they work for you. That's insane.

Showering every day is unnecessary and wasteful in my opinion. It doesn't mean that I would tell someone living in my house they had to cut it down to a couple of times a week because "that's what we do in this house." That's the same as what you are suggesting.

Having greasy hair doesn't mean her hygiene is inadequate. You wouldn't say that someone with dry or frizzy hair had hygiene issues.

Nonsense. There's a massive difference between having greasy unwashed hair and frizzy hair! One can be helped and one can't (and don't mention straighteners - there's a difference between hygiene and grooming).

If hair is very greasy then it needs to be washed - daily. Failing to do that is a personal hygiene problem. Greasy hair doesn't just look horrible, it FEELS horrible.

I had very greasy hair and skin in my teens and 20s. It was a pain but I had no option other than to wash my hair every day. I used to try to skip a day and it just looked lank and awful.

I would start by telling her that head lice is rife in British schools and under no circumstances should she use the children's hair brushes.

Jay so do they do that to make their hair look better?

Does she have wavy/curly hair? I know lots of young woman use coconut oil (or similar) to help tame or sculpt curls which obviously makes hair look greasy.

Whilst I do understand where you are coming from, I do think that if you say anything you are going to damage your working relationship and she sounds like a very good nanny.

But if you do tackle the subject, start off with lots of compliments and positive statements first.

Good luck....

Buy her a 'thank you for doing such a great job' bath/shower gift set and then continually ask her if she liked it, was it ok for her skin/hair, y'know just so you would know whether to buy it again for Christmas/birthday? Hopefully avoiding the chat 'you're boggin'

If she doesn't smell then it is none of your business.

Perhaps she has psoriasis on her scalp, or another condition which is irritated by frequent washing

We once had a young Polish student stay with us and he wouldn't wash. I had to ask in the end. He didn't seem to notice the smell. I can't remember how I asked, but I had to as it was causing a smell in the house, he was fine about it and even said its not a problem or something so remember having to be quite blunt and explain it was a problem, it was uncomfortable for sure, but sometimes you have to say things.

Does she actually smell. If so I think it's fair to ask. If not then none of your business.

OP - how long has she been with you ?

You have to bite the bullet. I've had to address appalling BO with staff before. Couldn't be sure there wasn't a medical reason so I led with that - you could do the same eg is there some medical reason you're not able to wash every day ... If not, please do so as I'd like my children to have a clear example to follow ....

I totally agree with YvaineStormhold.
Tell her or rather ask her and explain a little why. ( I'd be wondering if she washes her hands after using the loo too )

She's an employee and her appearance will reflect badly on the OP if she looks unwashed.

If there's a medical reason for her greasy hair, that's one thing, but if she can't be bothered it's just laziness.

She doesn't even need to wash it more than once a week - she could use dry shampoo on the other days to keep it looking fresh if she really wanted.

I don't think you should say anything.it's so rude! She is not below you.she does not belong to you. Leave the poor girl alone.

Goodomen, of course it affects OP! And her children too. Otherwise she wouldn't be posting about it
It's not pleasant being around people who have greasy hair. There's no need to look scruffy in a workplace.

Don't be so bloody rude. Nothing to do with you at all. Doesnt effect you or your life. Don't you dare make her feel bad about hers.

If you are worried about saying anything you could make her an appointment for a wash and blow dry.

I would be blunt.

Blunt **

Would she go into a "professional" work place with greasy hair?! Probably not. Therefore she shouldn't be so slack around the children. In ANY job you make an effort of your appearance. I don't think the suggestions are cringy at all. You certainly aren't being unreasonable. There's a standard to maintain especially when you live in someone's house too!
Good luck, I think a very "Blount and sweet" suggestion would be better. Just try and make it friendly so she's not uncomfortable

I am afraid it's true - if you want to have a job esp one with close contact with people, being clean is like a minimum requirement.

I will never forget going to visit a playgroup where the person who tried to welcome had long filthy fingernails and my 3 year old son just ran off... and quite honestly I didn't blame him.