How do I ask my au pair to wash her hair???

If you're a clean family then you will want a clean person working for you.

If you don't care much about personal hygiene then it won't be important whether the nanny has clean, grease-free hair.

The OP obviously rates cleanliness, so she really needs to have a chat with the nanny.

No, Bobo, you don't. That's so arrogant. You're paying for a job not a person and you don't get to dictate beyond acceptable personal hygiene.

OP has been asked repeatedly whether this woman smells and hasn't answered so the assumption is that she doesn't. OP doesn't like her hair condition, which is none of her business.

The personal appearance of someone in your employ in your home very much is your business.

I pay, I set the standard...

suburb lice can be transferred through brushes and soft furnishings, they can live 'off head' for quite some time

What on earth is the connection between being on DLA and being unwashed, why on earth is that relevant let alone wether you think they are entitled to it?

A few years ago we had a work placement girl. She lives in my street and I've known her family for yonks.
Mom and Dad are on DLA, I argue their eligibility but that's another story.
She was/is very smart in terms of intellect . However she is attractive yet her hair was filthy; her skin had a film of grease on it and she had globs of goodness knows what between her teeth.
I did try to discuss the importance of hygiene in the workplace; it all fell on deaf ears.
I was saddened that at 22 she had never had a proper job.
Fast forward 5 years and I bumped into her in town.
She told me she had got a new job in an office and was loving it.
Gone was the greasy hair, ancient coat and manky teeth.
She looked amazing.
I am sure someone had had a word with her about her appearance.
I reckon she was normalised to being unwashed ( as her parents are)
I think the au pair needs to told to address her hygiene issues as I suspect she comes from a family who are strangers to soap and water.

I would start by telling her that head lice is rife in British schools and under no circumstances should she use the children's hair brushes.

Head lice live on a host, not an inanimate object like a hairbrush, ffs.

Some posters seem to think that they are perfectly entitled to blurt out whatever pops into their heads, obviously. It's their right as they have staff in their homes!

Utterly ridiculous and if you even entertain the thought of your children getting away with making personal comments about a person in your home and actually validating those comments then you're not doing your job.

There's a big difference between thinking someone's hair looks a bit manky but recognising it's their hair and they can do whatever the fuck they want with it and said hair making you want to throw up.

No grip needed thanks. Just find it awful. Not everyone can like/dislike the same things.

You seriously need to get a grip if seeing someone with greasy hair would make you want to vomit

I would find it disrespectful for someone to think it's ok to be unkempt and dirty, every day and in my home. I would simply have to speak about it as it would make me want to vomit.

Referencing it being a person I'm paying, I would have a choice as to whether I wanted them in my home and I really wouldn't want them there. Each to their own of course!

*Yep my guess is most posters who are up in arms have never had a live-in help before.

I would find it absolutely revolting to have to deal with anyone with greasy hair, let alone someone living in my home and God forbid someone who is meant to be setting an example to the children.

The best advice is as above, be direct and firm. If she has a problem with it she knows where the door is.*

Pissing myself laughing

I haven't had live in help but I've certainly lived with people. It's really a matter of personal boundaries. I would just never raise it.

I think coconut oil defines curls and tames frizz PolarBear....

If it is so greasy that it actually looks wet I'm pretty sure it's a hair product of some sort - naturally greasy hair (of which I have a lot of personal experience) doesn't look completely wet - it looks, well, greasy.

Yep my guess is most posters who are up in arms have never had a live-in help before.

True in my case. I have had a lodger before, though, and would never have dreamed of telling her how often to wash her hair.

Are you suggesting that the sense of entitlement over somebody else's personal grooming only comes when you're paying them?

Assuming there's no major smell issue, how exactly is this different to that woman at PwC sacked for not wearing high heels?

I still remember avoiding the kids at school with greasy hair, I knew it wasn't their fault but it's still gross, I couldn't have it in my house. Unless she's ill but that's a long shot.

Yep my guess is most posters who are up in arms have never had a live-in help before.

I would find it absolutely revolting to have to deal with anyone with greasy hair, let alone someone living in my home and God forbid someone who is meant to be setting an example to the children.

The best advice is as above, be direct and firm. If she has a problem with it she knows where the door is.

PlaymobilPirate's solution is pretty spot on.

Quite annoyed by this, she might have personal issues that you don't know about. When i was that age my hair was greesy all the time and i had the spots to go with it, i was bullied badly by it and scarred for life. You have no idea the reasons why shes doing all this! Maybe get to know her first is what i would reccommend

I wondering if she is doing the don't wash for 6 weeks and hair cleans its self?

Does she shower daily?

Could she be using hair products that look greasy/wet

Could you offer your hairdryer or say you couldn't rem if you had put one in her room ?

Where does it say she isn't British?

It doesn't - au pair of your own nationality is rare though.

Yes and also look for a new nanny if you're as blunt as Bobo

Get the kids to do it! Nothing like the honesty of an innocent child possibly less harsh. Failing that run her a bath as a "thank you for all she does" and here try this new shampoo I found it and thought you deserve it 😚