How do I ask my au pair to wash her hair???

Mentioned this possibility*

A friend when I was a teenager - younger than 19 - had awful sticky greasy hair. I didn't like to broach it with her because it was clear she was self- conscious about it so never found out why, but she also sweated like mad as well.

I've seen her a couple of times recently and she no longer had greasy hair or smells sweaty, so it was obviously some kind of hormonal thing. She certainly used to wash when we were teens!

I know a couple of people have already me runner thus possibility but please do be sensitive to the possibility that it's something she is self conscious about.

I have worked as a nursery nurse and part of my contract of employment included hygeine and presentation. We had to look clean and tidy, wear our hair appropriately (Not extreme hairstyles etc) and keep our nails short and clean. I have also been a student nurse. On the day we got our uniform we had a lecture about presentation and hygeine. Clean and ironed uniform, clean short nails and naturally coloured clean and tidy hair. I will bet that she also will have been told that as she is representing the agency, she will have been told the same. If I had ever turned up to work with dirty and/or greasy looking hair, I would've expected to be pulled up on it. You are well within your rights to contact the agency, if you are not happy with any aspect of her presentation. (Being a nanny is absolutely setting an example to your charges). Of course this would be unfair and the only option is a quick chat, to the point, stating that her hair looks greasy and you would like her to keep it clean.

Loudly, while reminding her it's in her contract to look presentable.

shortly after amending her contract

Her hair will self clean eventually and end up beautiful and glossy. Maybe that's why it's starting to look less greasy... it's on the turn already...

It's been over 2 weeks since op posted - so what did you do?

Harsh, in many jobs you are expected to maintain certain levels of appearance. I work in an office and I'd be disciplined if I regularly went to work with greasy hair because I'm client facing. My employer quite rightly doesn't want to be represented by people who look scruffy or unclean. Even when I worked at a supermarket I was expected to have clean, tidy hair.

If it doesn't smell then its none of your business. If it was really dirty then it would smell. Do you realise that a nanny is an employee like any other? You don't own her. You wouldn't be told how often to wash your hair in an office, so why should a nanny be told? Maybe you should let her go rather than hurt her feelings about this. A good, sweet nanny as you've described her will get a new job easily. Then you will be able to get someone who meets your standards of perfection - or not. If you confront her, hopefully she will tell you to shove off and start packing her bags.

What hours does she work? Are they long? She might be very tired at the end of the day and doesn't have the energy to wash and dry her hair. There's many a time that I've just thought " I'm too tired tonight will do it tomorrow" when I've finished looking after my DC for the day.

She obviously showers if doesn't smell

Was her hair like this at interview?

Sounds like she could be self cleaning and not washing hair for 6 weeks /refuses your shampoo etc

I wonder if she used a dry shampoo when it got less greasy...

Buy her a groupon voucher or similar for a local salon and give it to her in a oh I have this voucher I'm not using or we could go together if you like kind of a way. That might give her a kick up the bum and encourage her to keep it nice and clean

OP - how long has she been with you?

OP we need an update - hope it went okay.

Unless she smells I don't think there's anything you can do about it.
Anyway have you had the convo? How did it go? I'm cringing just thinking about it.

There's some grim entitlement on this thread though

Oh for goodness sake! An adult should be clean (barring illness). There is no two ways about it. Nanny seems to have a perfectly adequate bathroom - no excuses for not using it. It's not difficult to stay clean

If the OP allows her children to gossip about the nanny without checking them then that says an awful lot about her parenting of them, that's disgraceful.

When you actually have employees, you don't treat them this way. Some posters here would find themselves on the wrong side of a tribunal. That is, a) if they actually would dare to confront a nanny in this way (which is highly doubtful given how confrontation-averse MN posters are) and b) if there were proper conditions of employment which again, I doubt.

People just like the idea of having 'staff' when they don't...

Weird thread. I'm guessing she is cheap labour from another country and you feel immensely grand about having a live in skivvy.

What the fuck is a "clean" family???

It really isn't arrogance to set standards for your employees, you know ;)

Could she have put ointment in it for eccema or allopecia or any type or hair complaint?

Exactly.
People have different standards of cleanliness, for all we know the OP could be obsessive about cleanliness, to the point of the living environment being too clinical.
I would imagine that if you are like that, then it's very difficult to have someone living there who doesn't have the same standards.
Neither is right or wrong.
But there is a mismatch.

I'm suprised the OP didn't pick up on things at the interview

You can be a 'clean family', (whatever the hell that is?) and not seek to apply your own strictures on other people. People have different standards of cleanliness and, what I think is merely clean, others might think is sterile.

We don't know if this woman smells only that her hair is wet-look/greasy. OP has so far been unfussed about it to the extent of allowing her daughter to play with it. I wouldn't want OP's child's dirty fingers in my hair (kids always have dirty fingers!). If the nanny smells then it would be a kindness to tell her but over and above that, NO!

Upshot is that you don't get to put your 'stamp' on other people, try as you might, and if this nanny isn't a good fit then they aren't. Find somebody else.