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Original poster

Do you think this is appropriate?

33 replies

jamum · 15/01/2007 20:13

Today picked up ds from his childminder and he is in tears, in fact sobbing. He is 16 months.

Do you think these 2 things are right? Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill.

  1. The childminders own children were having their dinner in the conservatory with the door shut, and ds (who was obviously hungry) was absolutely desperate to get in there with them. But wasn't allowed.

I guess that the cm didn't let him in because I was due to pick him up (although I was 20 minutes early). I would have thought she would have either a) waited until I had been and gone before feeding her children, or b) Put ds in the high chair with some of his fruit which was left in his bag.

and

  1. Apparently ds bit her lo (he has never bitten anyone before) so the cm told him off and said he was naughty, and then made him sit in a chair for a few minutes.

I think this is excessive for a 16 month old, but maybe I think that because he's my little boy.

What do you think?

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Katymac · 15/01/2007 20:32

Might have been a misunderstanding then - can you say that if you haven't arrived by 4.55 or 5pm can he have xyz out of his bag

She might be thinking "I can't give him any tea as mummy will want to do it when she gets him home"

Most of my upsets are over total misunderstandings (but this might not be the case here - it's just worth a conversation...maybe?)

whatkatydidntdo · 15/01/2007 20:30

I am a childminder and I sometimes have to feed my kids whilst mindees are still with me. 1 particualr family has asked for no snacks after a certain time to ensure evening meal(at home with parent) is eaten fully. in this case I ensure that I do something fun with mindees so they dont even notice my kids eating.

If I know parent is going to pick up after my meal time I would usually offer to give mindee a meal too or light snack.

It is very difficult as your childminders family need to do what they need to do(iyswim) particually as they may have other activities to go to but perhaps a light snack or piece of fruit would help to resolve the issue.

I have found breaksticks, bread and butter, small fruits like raisins are ideal in these situations.

Perhaps you should send in a little something to be given to your LO if he sees others having a meal and wants to join them.

I am sure if you just mention this to your CM she will be as eager to prevent it happening again as you are.

Original poster
jamum · 15/01/2007 20:30

It was about 5.10pm, I finish work at 5, but pay until 5.30pm in case of traffic etc.

We haven't dicussed tea times, but I put enough food in his bag to cover him for any eventuality!

OP posts:
NannyL · 15/01/2007 20:26

i dont think a naughty chair is appropriate for a 16 month old

at least my 16month old charge would not understand at all yet..

at the moment he has a habit of hitting his 3 year old brother... we say no hitting (firmly) and pick him up under arms (not in a cuddley sort if way) and turn him right around facing away from us in another area of the playroom

on the 3 occasions he has bitten his brother he gets an even firmer no biting and has been picked up under the arms and placed facing away from us in the hall (not in the playroom) meanwhile big brother gets lots and lots of positive attention!

think shutting him out while every one else is eating is a bit mean too to be honest! especially if he might be hungry.... 16 month olds dont udnerstand what is theres and what isnt... all they know is what they want!

Katymac · 15/01/2007 20:24

What time was it?

Had she offered to give him tea & you said not to?

Don't like the child being called naughty prefer that the biting is naughty (iyswim)

Time out is prehaps a liitle harsh for a 16mo - I usually start that about 20-24 m - but it may have been a way of diffusing a situation - eg if a child gets so frustrated they can bite and then get upset at what they had done - I would prob sit them down until they hads calmed down (iyswim) rather than time out

Original poster
jamum · 15/01/2007 20:23

Forgot to say this is only his 2nd week there.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 15/01/2007 20:20

I'd have him out of there quicker than Concorde. The woman hasn't a clue what she's doing.

I realise it's not that easy when you think you have your childcare sorted, though.

Edam · 15/01/2007 20:18

Agree with you, this is wrong. Poor thing, no way she should be shutting him out of the room everyone else is in. What a horrid way to treat a toddler.

Don't think naughty chair is appropriate for his age either, I'd just say 'no, we don't bite' or 'stop' or something very short and give lots of attention to the one who has been bitten.

I'd have a serious word with the c/m tbh, wouldn't be happy leaving ds with someone so harsh.