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Original poster

Client assumes I will clean if I have down time. How do I handle this?

118 replies

someonestolemynick · 13/04/2016 21:22

I've NC'd for this and will keep things as vague as possible.

Basically I'm a tutor who occasionally does childcare/babysitting. As a favour to an excisting client I took on a new client for a regular after school babysitting gig. The dc are around 10 years old so won't require constant supervision.

I have to say as babysitting goes, my rates aren't cheap. But as i don't need to prepare for babysitting, they are cheaper than my tuition fees. So I get that hiring me to sit in your house while the dc get on with stuff. I pointed that out to get, but she was happy with the fee.

I want to an initial meeting with her. All really great until the mother said: and when c happens, they'll probably just be upstairs playing, so you can do some cleaning. I didn't react at all. I think I probably looked quite put out. She proceeds to show me where she keeps different things including showing me subtly where the cleaning products are.

I know I should have said something at the time but I was incredibly stunned. I have been in this job for almost 10 years and I've never been asked to clean someone's house. Of course I tidy up (with the kids) after a session and will clean any mess when It comes up, but I am not a cleaner.

You can probably tell, that i am not happy with this. I'm actually quite offended that she would simply assume I would because
F

  1. I'm doing her and an excisting client a favour.
  2. I am shot at cleaning and hate it. For that reason I employ a cleaner in my own home.

So how do I deal with this?

  1. Have a conversation with her stating firmly and politely that she needs to hire a cleaner, if she wants someone else to clean her house.
  2. Get on with my job and wait for her to comment.
  3. Tell her that my commitements have changed and I won't be able to babysit for her again.

Or am I being previous and should just clean.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Lweji · 14/04/2016 20:23

What would happen if tomorrow you simply didn't show up?

Original poster
someonestolemynick · 14/04/2016 20:23

I knoebroughlyvwhere she is and how long it will take to get here. I just won't be back. My trip home is about an hour and a half. I'm at the other end of London as she knows.

Just got a text asking me to stay on for another 20 min. Just Grrr.

Although I'm taking some satisfaction in mn'ing while dc is reading a book and not cleaning.

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityyhat · 14/04/2016 20:22

Oooh I'd love to be party to that conversation! She simply sounds like she is pretty clueless and used to taking advantage of people she employs. Or, to use a well-worn MN favourite, terribly entitled!

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2016 20:21

That takes the Piss!!!

Hope she is back now !!!!

Lweji · 14/04/2016 20:18

Can you call her and ask her where the fuck she is? With those words?

Original poster
someonestolemynick · 14/04/2016 20:15

By the way I know she's not lying injured in a ditch because she rang the house phone, spoke to one of the dc and hung up again.

OP posts:
Original poster
someonestolemynick · 14/04/2016 20:10

Ok, I'm fuming now.

The fisrt session was today or to be precise it still is. The plan was to have a chat with mum when she came back from work. Putting boundaries in place.

I was told she's be back between 6 and 7, I'm still at her house. She didn't feel it necessary to text me. I will get rid. I'm too old to teach a grown woman consideration.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/04/2016 20:02

I really hope you made yourself very clear.

minipie · 14/04/2016 19:16

Yep agree with the suggestion above to say "just to check, you meant clean up if the kids make a mess right? Not cleaning the bathrooms and so on?"

Babysitters don't clean. Nannies don't clean. She wants a nanny/housekeeper really (or a live out au pair). You don't want to be a nanny/housekeeper. Fine; just make it clear somehow before any resentment builds up on either side.

beckenman12 · 14/04/2016 19:03

Don't do the job

Lweji · 14/04/2016 18:14

Why don't those people just hire a cleaner?

But they can't expect a tutor and a cleaner, FGS.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2016 15:41

This happens quite a lot with older children 10+

They can't stay alone but neither do they need a 'nanny' like younger children do

Many are happy to chill out by selves - read in their room - play on phones etc

Therefore parents dislike paying a nanny to do nothing apart from
Supervise

I had a parent who needed help in school hols and had 11yr and 13yr - she wanted house cleaned and any ironing in basket done - but best of all - someone who is green fingered and can weed

Needless to say I turned down the job

Doing a lovely job at mo - Easter hols and 11yr. She's pretty self sufficient but Obv can't stay alone 11hrs a day

I come in play games with her and take to park - national trust - get school friend over

But some days I have sat on my bum reading my book /on phone as she is upstairs and wants to chill out

Simple message woman op and say think there's been a misunderstanding and that if she wants a cleaner to use someone else

midnightlurker · 14/04/2016 15:24

I'm with expatinscotland on this. Just say that you don't do cleaning, therefore she will need to find someone else for the job. She will struggle to do that I would think. You would be better off tutoring for those hours anyway - more money and not dependent on one employer.

guerre · 14/04/2016 15:21

What she actually wants is an after-school nanny, but they've hired a babysitter? Are they paying babysitting rates or nanny rates?
Don't they want their children tutored?
Sorry OP, you must be having us on- everyone wants a tutor nowadays? Wink

expatinscotland · 14/04/2016 15:14

I agree with Lady, no good will come of this situation.

expatinscotland · 14/04/2016 15:11

You are doing a favour. You don't need this battleaxe in your life. So this is very simple. 'I'm ever so sorry, but there appears to be a misunderstanding. I am not a house cleaner and my role does not extend to household domestic duties unconnected to childcare. My apologies for any miscommunication of my role. As your expectations extend to house cleaning, it's clear I am not the right person for the job so I wish you every success in your hiring. Kind Regards, OP.'

The end.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

RudeElf · 14/04/2016 14:55

Me cutthe? What point?

Cuttheraisins · 14/04/2016 14:48

Ahhh thank you so much for proving my point.

RudeElf · 14/04/2016 14:45

And the award for totally irrelevant rant of the thread goes to.... Hmm

OP i would just contact her and say you feel there has been crossed wores and that you are a babysitter and dont do cleaning. I am a cleaner and it is a separate job with a set rate, not to be fitted in as and when the kids are busy.

Cuttheraisins · 14/04/2016 14:36

I was hired once to babysit two children for a day, and it turned out that I did a huge pile of ironing whilst the mum was having full beauty treatment in the front room and the kids watched movies and played on Xbox. Never went there again. At least she told you beforehand and you have the option of choosing. Some people see childcare as the bottom of the pile and have us do all sorts of things. Happy I am not childminding and babysitting anymore.

jannier · 14/04/2016 14:30

Id set out my terms for working list the activities I will do with the children and any tidying up that those activities make then let her accept on your terms or look elsewhere.
Of course you will do activities and play but if they have enough and want to chill that's up to them.
If you intend to go to parks etc get written permission and include one for emergency first aid.
Don't for get you can not use your car unless you have taxi insurance or get insurance to use it as a self employed nanny.

HSMMaCM · 14/04/2016 13:16

Reality - OP never said she was going to sit around doing nothing. She is not a nanny, but a responsible supervising adult in the house.

OP - I agree you should make it clear that you will supervise and clean up after activities/snacks, but you are not a cleaner.

DD does evening babysitting and once the children are in bed, she doesn't set about the housework, she chats to her friends does her college work.

LadyWithLapdog · 13/04/2016 23:08

I'd get out of this situation asap. I can't see any good coming out of it. The expectations are too different.

Original poster
someonestolemynick · 13/04/2016 22:59

O.k. just to clarify. I will be picking up from school, supervising home work and instrument practise, providing snacks and occasionally dinner. After homework add is done dc will be playing either with me or by themselve, if they choose.
If they play by themselves, I will have down time which client assumes I would fill with cleaning.

Only joking I'll lock myself in to play candy crush Halo

OP posts:
Realitybitesyourbum · 13/04/2016 22:07

The op said a regular after school childcare gig. This isn't a Saturday night movie night. It's presumably a 3-4 hour period of looking after the kids when they have homework to do and other stuff, not just chilling out in front of the to every day after school. I wouldn't expect a child carer to do that day after day, but be more interactive. Op, you didn't say you do these things, you said, "you sit" so that's what I responded to.

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